HELP! My 21 month old WILL NOT listen to me at all!?

Question

I know he can me because if I say "want a cookie" he comes runnin, but if I say "dont touch that" HE WILL! If we go for a walk he will run away from me (into traffic) or walk on ppls lawns or everything but listen to me. At dinner time he will refuse to eat what I make, but will go get a cookie or ask for one.
He just does not listen to me, I try to be patient with him but I am ready to beat the snot out this lil non listener! (not for real) what to do?

Would it be wrong or helpful if I did whoop his butt? Just once so he knows I mean business. I not a floor matt!

Answer 1

This is normal good luck.

Answer 2

When you say you're going to do something, follow through EVERY time. He's still going to test you, but eventually he'll realize that what you say is what you mean, and he'll stop testing you. As far as the running into traffic, you may want to get him one of those backpacks with the harness attached. This way he can walk beside you safely. I know some people think it's not right, but I'd rather have a safe kid who's happy because he can still be independent, than a dead kid. Another way to handle this is walk with the stroller, let him walk on his own, but if he disobeys he goes into the stroller. He gets one warning, then put him in it. Don't give in to the temper tantrum that will most likey follow you putting him in. After a couple times of him realizing you mean business, he'll listen. For dinner, offer him a couple choices, and he doesn't get a cookie unless he eats one of the choices you've given him. If he refuses to eat, let him leave the table. He won't be hurt from being hungry for a while, and he'll learn he will be full, and get his cookie if he listens to you. If he's really hungry later on, give him a healthy snack, if he's hungry he'll eat, if not, he wont.

Answer 3

Have you tried speaking with him on his level -- as in getting down eye-to-eye with him? It's important that he knows you're serious -- and that you're talking TO HIM! (Lightly grab his arm or hand if necessary, or ask him to "look at Mommy" because this is important...) Otherwise, he may just keep listening to what he wants to....and keep driving you crazy! So look him in the eye, tell him what he should or should not do -- clearly and seriously -- and REPEAT as necessary!
And here's something else that worked for me...
Be sure to be consistent with "punishment," too. He will quickly figure out what he can get away with, so when he disobeys or refuses to listen, set up a warning first and let him know that he will be punished if he doesn't obey. If he still disobeys, tell him you're giving him 5 seconds to remedy his behavior or you will proceed with punishment. (Well, don't use those words, exactly!) Then go through with it! Take away a toy or a special privilege, or give a light spank if that's your style. Then explain why you had to punish him, and be sure he knows it... get him to tell YOU if necessary! And do your best to ignore the tears or the problems that may follow. Once these patterns are in place, you should have a more well behaved child.
Good luck. This parenting thing sure is nuts sometimes!

Answer 4

Obviously, your approach with him is training him to do all the things you do not want him to do. Adjust yourself now before you have a completely uncontrollable child. Children at this age are so easily manipulted into good behavior if you do the right things. Rewards for good behavior, not just everyday stuff (you can't give him a cookie for everything), and punishment for bad things. Physical punishment will only do so much, and send the wrong message. Time outs work best. I always used to make my daughter stand with her nose touching the wall as a time out, rather than just having her goof off in a corner somewhere. It always worked really well. She is 6 years old now, and I almost never have any behavioral problems with her at all.

Answer 5

I was told that children don't hear DON'T until theyve heard the whole sentence. e.g dont run - all they hear is run then dont. So the idea is to give instructions in a DO. e.g Walk!

I totally understand your frustration I had a Daughter the same at 2years old. The trick is to not let them be in control. Reward him when he does do things right. Sticker charts work great especially now hes nearly 2years old, then when hes got a weeks worth of stickers he can have a special treat. He will get the idea hes not too young. Good Luck

Answer 6

It sounds like you need to discipline your son! He needs to know that there are certain behaviors that are not tolerated and that there are consistent consequences for breaking those rules. You need to be very consistent and follow through. NEVER make an empty threat. He needs to know that he can rely on you, both to care for him and his needs AND to enforce boundaries and family standards of behavior. A single wallop on the butt will get his attention every time. But if you are one of the parents opposed to that, then come up with something else that is effective and undesirable, whether it's the nose on the red dot in the corner or whatever. I think God made the bottom so padded so that they won't get injured when we correct them. But redirecting doesn't work because it doesn't clearly set boundaries. And removal of privilages won't work until he gets a little older. Good luck.

Answer 7

Look, I hate to irritate people, but children that age are little more than animals.Talking reason doesn't work because they haven't learned it yet.Pain is a great learning tool that has been installed in us over millions of years, use it.
I'm not saying beat them to a pulp, but a couple of swats to the but ain't going to ruin them as adults. Not learning the meaning of rules and limitations defiantly will, though.
As far as the eating thing goes, do what our parents did; you don't eat anything if you don't eat what's given to you.He's not going to starve, and after sitting at the table long enough, he'll start eating.
Just remember, this has to be something you do all the time.You can't expect him to learn if your not consistent.

Answer 8

i use the count to 3 with my 2 yr old..if at three she doesn't listen, i swat that hiney, i put her in time out sometimes...nothing really works, they all walk all over mommy anyways! and if he wont eat what you give him, maybe try one more nutr. thing and if he doesnt eat that, dont let him eat anything, or say if he eats some of his food he can have a cookie after. All mine wants is french fries and chicken, and she only gets that about once a week, otherwise its eat your food or i'll take it away and she'll go to bed...i dont care if its 4 in the afternoon, if she throws her fits i tell her i will put her in bed, she never stays, but she does throw a fit in her room and i ignore it untill she calms down, then i let her out, she hates that...but i'm not hurting her and she is smart so she knows...little ones are smart, dont let them walk all over you now cause you'll regret it later

Answer 9

what you need here is consistency. yeah, i think he understands what you're saying. how about a plan. like, you say "don't do that." if he continues you say "that's two, don't do that." if he still does it, on the third time there's a consequence, whatever you decide for that to be. consistency is important and kids need to know what to expect. also...don't give in. if you've made dinner, no cookies. he gets what you made. really...what do you expect? cookies are tastier to an almost 2 year old than a decent meal.

Answer 10

You just have to be strict, stick to your guns! Don't give in and hide the cookies. I think the best thing to do it to talk to him. Get down to his level so he see's your eyes while you explain to him why you are telling him no and what could possibly happen if he doesn't listen. 21 months is a tough age, they are learning to be independent, but at the same time, need your guidance.

Good luck! :)

Answer 11

Kids minds aren't wired for logic, yet they do understand pain. A light swat or two to the butt will get his attention. Don't do it out of anger or frustration. Don't yell and carry on when you do it. Stay calm and collected, let him know its coming if he doesn't stop...Then let him have it, and let him cry. Once he calms down let him no you don't want to do that to him again but he has to follow the rules.

After a few times around he'll know what "stop" means...The whole time-out limp-noodle thing leads to teen-agers that will have no problem tell you to go f* your self.