Kids are adorable and beautiful and sometimes can be a pain. I know I have a few years yet to decide, but can people please seriously tell me this: how do you know if you don't want to have kids? Sometimes they can drive you crazy, sure, but honestly? I don't care, because it's one of my dreams. But yesterday I saw some Asian women with their two small children each on the bus. They were yelling at each other and seemingly not being very loving mothers. I saw that and I almost felt in pain. But the girls were so cute.......how do I know if I don't want children? I do, but I'm still not sure and right now a little confused. Please help???????
2006-09-14 07:40:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
There is no definate answer for this question. We all question whether or not we will be good parents, or if we even want children. I didn't want kids, but deep down, I did. Once you meet someone, and you love them, you will get to talking to them, and if you both agree on the way to raise them, and rules and stuff for them, you tend to decide more on whether or not you want chidlren. Children can be very difficult, but so can the parents. It all depends on you and how you and your partner raise them.
2006-09-14 07:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by eh77530 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, don't let the children on the bus bother you as far as parenting. That just shows THEY are bad parents. The fact that you are questioning whether you want to be a parent at all, shows that you have the potential of being a great parent. A lot of people have children just because it seems like the thing to do.
It is a huge responsibility. You are showing that you understand that.
Deciding to be a parent is too personal for anyone else to decide for you. Keep asking yourself the important questions, and make informed decisions. Know that if you do decide to have children, the decision is permanent. Much more permanent even than marriage. Don't let anyone pressure you one way or the other.
I have a feeling, that if you do decide to have children, you will be a wonderful and responsible parent.
I also have a feeling, that if you decide not to, you will continue to be a responsible and wonderful person.
Good luck!
2006-09-14 14:53:37 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki Tesla 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't make a decision to have kids or not based on your observations of people in very isolated moments of time. The Asian women you observed are most likely very different from you and have made different choices in their life. Know that you can always CHOOSE to be a loving mother. It's ALWAYS your choice. Just as it was their choice NOT to be loving mothers. There are times when having kids is difficult and trying...but HOW you handle yourself and what you CHOOSE to do in those situations is what seperates happy moms from miserable ones.
There are many reasons people have children...most people do NOT really contemplate it before doing it. It shows a lot of maturity that you ARE thinking it through. The good news is that parenting does not have to be difficult all the time, especially if you educate yourself by reading plenty of parenting books and child development books. This will keep both you, your partner, and your kids (if you choose to have them) from being frustrated and will make for a happy family (and mom!)
In the meantime, keep your eyes and ears open...and start looking for happy families, happy kids, happy parents.....chances are that you have mostly observed crying, yelling ones because they are the loudest and most obvious. There are plenty of happy and life-loving moms out there, too!
One happy mom! :)
2006-09-14 14:56:09 · answer #3 · answered by curiousRO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right, kids are cute but they can be a pain. I personally don't like many other people's kids, just my family memebers' kids and my own (and even some of my neices drive me crazy.) I didn't let that stop me from being a mom, because I knew it was something that I wanted. When you reach the right place in life, you will know. You might feel better prepared to be a mom when you are married or in a committed relationship. If you don't ever feel quite right about it, don't force yourself to make someone else happy. Even if it feels like the whole world expects you to have a baby (and it doesn't) you don't have to.
2006-09-14 14:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by S. O. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I AM A MOTHER OF TWO (7 MONTHS & 6 YEARS) THEY ARE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE BUT I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT WAS EASY. TRUST ME IT IS HARD SINCE I AM RAISING THEM ALONE. BUT I DON'T THINK THAT YOU SHOULD EVEN WORRY ABOUT ALL THIS UNTIL IT'S THE RIGHT TIME FOR YOU. AND DON'T FRETT IF YOU DON'T EVEN FELL LIKE IT LATER. REMEMBER IT IS YOUR BODY AND WHAT MY COME NATUALLY FOR ONE MY NOT FOR YOU. IF YOU REALLY DON'T WANT CHILDREN THAT'S OKAY. AND IF YOU DO THE WORLD WOULD BE HAPPY TO HAVE THEM.
2006-09-14 14:57:34 · answer #5 · answered by emily b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When that moment comes, you'll know and you won't even second guess yourself. Yes, children are a commitment and a lot of work, but they are also the greatest joy you'll ever know in your life.
2006-09-14 14:52:33 · answer #6 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't know don't have them. I think some people think they are pets until they have their own. Learn as much as you can about raising children before you have any.
2006-09-14 14:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by FrogDog 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its NOT REALLY UP TO U. WELL SORTA BUT IF IT HAPPENS THEN THAT MEANS YOUR READY FOR IT. ITS A BLESSING I GUESS YOU COULD SAY. PASSING DOWN YOUR GENERATIONS. SO THINK IF YOU WANT SOMEONE THERE TO TAKE YOUR PLACE WHEN YOUR GONE?
2006-09-14 14:44:35 · answer #8 · answered by SEXY MAMI 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can't be happy all the time...of course their is ups and downs you can't expect it to be perfect
2006-09-14 14:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE CONTINUE THE HUMAN RACE
2006-09-14 15:13:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋