what is the proper punishment for this?

Question

a few minutes ago i went to the restroom , my daughter ,age 3, was playing in her room. as soon as i got into the restroom she snuck into my room and climbed up on my dresser and grabbed my knife. she took it to her room and when i walked by her room i saw it. i put her in time out and after i sent her to her room. i know i should not have had that knife on my dresser, but i never thought she could climb up that high . i have locked it up.
should i take away some of her toys or movies or what ? or is just time out ok?

i don't just leave knives laying around, i am contastly trying to child proof. i made a mistake. sometimes people do make mistakes.

thankyou for all the advice, i am going to go get her out of her room and and talk to her some more about how bad she scared me. thanks.

please dont e mean to me for this, i am in tears. biologically she is my brothers child. he was murdered 3 years ago right before she was born and i dont want anyrthing to happen to her. she is my life , that is why i am asking other parents the right way to handle this . i just want to be a goood parent and i dont want to lose her.

thankyou for all of the great advice. gotta go, i have some more childproffing to do while my little munchkin is napping.

Answer 1

Scary situation.... it's amazing what children can get into... You're not a bad parent, and the bottom line is that she's fine. You pay close enough attention to her to have caught her before anything happened. Give yourself a break, and I think the other answerers should give you a break too, obviously they don't have a child (no matter how closely you watch them, eventually they're going to fall while running, or roll off the couch, or hit their head on a end table) Unless we bubble wrap our children and make them wear helmets all day, things will happen..... You've learned a lesson. Explain to your daughter that you are punishing her because you care about her and want nothing bad to happen. I know you wouldn't let it happen again, so enough said.

Answer 2

You are right, you shouldn't have a knife out where she can get it. People make mistakes though, they live, and they lean. If your room is a place that she feels she can just go in and grab things, I would nip that in the butt. The reason why--she might decide to take your favorite peice of jewlery, and flush it down the toilet. Not saying that your child is bad--but children who don't know better will still do these things. Although I believe in harsher forms of punishment, in this case I think the time-out is okay. This is because--if she is normally allowed in your room and normally looks through your things, how is this any different? She probably didn't even know that the knife could hurt her or was any different then a pair of panty hose. After he time out is up, talk with her. Let her know how you feel. Let her know she scared you. Even show her some household items that are never okay to touch. That way she knows better next time. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Now you did the right thing with the time out. At this time of age the children are very curious. Taking away her toys and movies is not going to solve the problem. If your child can really understand a conversation, that would be your best idea. Talk to your about how bad knives can be. I have done this and my daughter knows not to touch a knife. It actually took some time for her to use a butter knife to make her sandwiches for lunch.

Answer 4

The punishment should fit the crime, even moreso when it comes to young children. Explaining right from wrong to a 3-year old is sometimes a difficult task, granted. But how does taking toys or movies (things she enjoys) relate at all to her getting hold of your knife (something she probably still doesn't understand the uses of)? It doesn't.

In this case, even a time out is probably not recommended since this is just her first offense.

Think from the eyes of a 3 year old what a knife should be. She's likely seen you use it before and now all she just wants to do the same thing. Why punish her for wanting to be like you?

I recommend you talk to her calmly and explain that certain things are for grown-ups to use (knives, sharp scissors, etc.) and certain things are for kids. Knives are for grown-ups.

Good luck.

Answer 5

As I realize that at the age of three, their attention span isn't very long...but consistency will teach her many things...don't throw toys, don't hit..don't play with knives. It is true that you shouldn't leave things like this laying around, even in your room. Kids are curious and will get to whatever looks nice / pretty / interesting etc. What you could do is teach her to knock on a door and if no one answers, then she can't go in. I have taught this to my boys cause they used to have a fascination to go into my daughters room and "play" with stuff. Now, they knock and ask if they can go in...and if she says no...they are fine with it. But time out works well. I didn't think so raising my own kids..but now that I am a foster parent (spanking etc) isn't allowed and yes we either take special toys away for the 4 minutes (1 minute per age) or time out. And they will pick up on right and wrong in no time at all. Don't give up, consistency is what they need to learn.

Answer 6

Your recent experience reminded me of some scenarios involving children in an 80's (or was it the 90's) "reality TV" show called Rescue 911. What struck me was how children around her age could get themselves in harm's way as they go through their "age of exploration". At this age, they are known to be agile climbers, so inquisitive, and completely oblivious of fear. I was particularly horrified by the episode re-enacting a toddler sneaking into the washing machine while her mom wasn't looking. It was just a game to the little one - hide and seek.

On one hand, these qualities aid in their acquisition of knowledge. Based on what I've seen, read and experienced - a sensitive parent like you can CHILD-PROOF your home effectively.

For instance, do you have protective coverings on your wall sockets to prevent your child from "sticking a pointy metal object" into it? Most of these things take a lot of love and empathy to notice. Visualize yourself in her tiny shoes - give yourself her heightened curiosity and almost superhuman physical abilities. As you do, scan the rooms of your home through her eyes. What gets your attention? What must you absolutely touch, taste, stick up your nose...?

Did she know that knives are dangerous before she scaled your dresser to get one? Knowledge is key and she is hungry for it, to experience her world. Take time to let her know what may be harmful, what are not "toys" (for instance, matches).

I leave the "punishment" (with a simple explanation she can understand about why she is being punished) up to you. Discipline with love is the best. At her age, your "punishment" should come almost immediately after the transgression was committed otherwise she will not understand why she is being punished. This may lead to her doing it again just because she doesn't know it's wrong.

ENCOURAGE good behavior and acknowledge, affirm them. Fear of punishment alone is not the best tool a parent has to bring up a child. If you were in her place, how would you like your mom and dad to teach you?

Always let her know you punish her for the bad behavior but will always love her.

Bless you, for you have been given a wonderful gift, a child. Savor every moment - yup, all the ups and downs. You'll be learning much too along the way.

Answer 7

In the sense that you obviously have considered what could have happened! and you are locking it up in the future you did the right thing... But make sure you explain to her why you gave her time out. This gives you the opportunity to let her know how going in your room , climbing up, and taking something that did not belong to her was wrong. Then let her know that knives can really hurt people, etc. Inform her. I am sure you can word it in the way that she will understand you ... Then tell her don't want her to get hurt. Last but not least give her a hug and let her know you love her!!! ;-)
Have a great Day!

Answer 8

A time out doesnt help much. I say you sit down and talk to herand tell her that a knife is not a toy. It's your own fault for leaving it out in the open, even though you thought your daughter couldnt climb that high.
By sitting down with your little girl, you can discuss the dangers in playing with a knife as well as the dangers in climbing a high dressers. Discuss to her how she can get hurt both ways.

Answer 9

it's over. you put her in time out and now it's done.
if you try to punish her now for this she won't understand why she's being punished.
however, at the time i probably would have spanked her butt and i would have had a serious talk with myself about my safety habits.

here's the thing...
sure, people make mistakes, but leaving a knife around , whether you THINK she can't get to it is just plain dumb.
sorry, i try not to judge, but it just is, mom.

i was raised with an army dad and there were MANY various weapons in our home. however, we knew from the get-go how to treat them and that we simply don't touch them or go near them unless our dad was around.
period.
if we would have gotten into his stuff without him, then we had better start praying b/c he would send us to meet our maker. seriously, there were lines in our house that you just didn't cross and safety was #1. if we even touched a gun or knife etc....then, we got our butts beat. period.

we were taught to respect the power of weapons and we saw first-hand what they could do. we grew up hunting and fishing and we were exposed to when it's appropriate to use a weapon and when it's not.

i'm not a big fan of spanking, but it is a surefire way to make sure a kid doesn't touch something that is unsafe.

so, next time...i hope there isn't, but next time, a good swat on the bottom and a "you don't toch mommy's things without mommy being there." can do the trick. then a time out too.

however, how should you punish yourself??
i think a good punishment is getting some home safety books and reading them and child-proofing your house.

kids can always get to things or get into things that you never even thought about.....
remember that.

take care.

Answer 10

The time out is enough, after all, she got it because it was out in the first place. Yes, people make mistakes, and she has to learn that just because something is out, it doesn't mean it is okay to be touched by her. Just explain to her that first of all, she shouldn't be in your room touching your things (if that is a rule of yours), and second, explain why she is not allowed to touch knives. The time out is plenty for what she did, and she'll understand better. Taking other things away seems a bit harsh and irrelevant, since she wasn't the only one who was wrong.