I am a 25 year old Indian girl. I work full time and am doing a part time MBA course at work. I live at home and my parents wont let me move out! I have to face emotional abuse and guilt from them when Im at home. I dont have any friends where I live.
I was speaking to one friend (old college friend - she nows lives 100 miles away from me) at 11pm last night. My parents must have heard me talking on the phone and my mum came in all angry and told me to get off the phone. I heard my dad bickering all angry to my mum afterwards. This got me depressed and I cried. They dont care as long as I dont have friends.
I never go out. only into town to shop for clothes and stuff. I work 9-5, mon -fri. I come straight home after work.
My life is so depressing and I feel so lonely. I live on the net everyday I come home...
Is there anyone who understand what Im going through.....? :*(
2006-09-14 07:20:34 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They place emotional guilt on me when I say I want to rent somewhere. They say that its not right for a girl our culture to move out on her own til shes married. I feel so trapped!!!
2006-09-14 07:29:22 · update #1
You state that you have a job...It does not sound like you are spending the money you make, so you should have something saved. Use the money to get an apartment. You must get out of your parents home for your own well being. You are old enough, have the means to do so...do it now!
2006-09-14 07:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by Becky 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If life is this depressing for you, you could secretly move out. If you're online all the time anyway, find an apartment and pack up your stuff. Do you have a car or someone at work that could help you move? Heck...do it when your parents aren't home. They sound depressed also if they are constantly bickering. It's not heathly for them or you. You have a stable job, it's time to be self-reliant. Good Luck!
2006-09-14 07:26:02 · answer #2 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm usually in the habit of reading a person's questions on their page before I answer their questions to get a real feel for who they are and what they are like. You can tell what a person is up to by the questions they ask.
I'll have to say in your case I didn't go and read your page first. (sorry) I did go read it after I answered the first question like this one. So I'll say to you now more than before.
You need to volunteer your spare time to a local office for the underprivileged. Maybe work with some handicapped children find out how blessed you are.
Love is a beautiful blessing and gift. We have to give it to receive it. The more you give the better person you will be. Depression is feeling sorry for yourself.STOP!!!!!!!!!!!! it won't change until you give a little of your self to someone else.
2006-09-14 08:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by remembertnb 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, to poster Tiffy Boo, learn to read, kid. this poster says she is a GIRL, not a boy! Secondly, the answer to the question is to MOVE OUT! Dear, you are 25 years old and your parents are your parents. Get out on your own (it's time) into an apartment and then your parents CANNOT control you any longer. ANd don't give us the excuse of your parents NOT letting you move out. Dear, they CANNOT STOP YOU! You are of legal age (and then some) and there is no law or anything else that says you cannot move out and NOW! Grow up! Find an apartment and LEAVE!
2006-09-14 07:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your folks are from the old school, do you not have any Indian friends, that you can talk to, that your parents don't mind. 25 you folks need to let you live your own life, its very unfair, just get yourself a flat and move out, show to them that living on your own or sharing a flat is not going to make you any different, you will still be a responsible adult. good luck.
2006-09-18 07:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by donua1022 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right the first thing you have to do is to sit your mum and dad down and tell them straight that your 25 years of age you aint no little kid no more and that they cant keep being controlling, otherwise you will move out you, dont be scared to tell them they have to know what your going through. you need to threaten them a bit say to them you will be moving out. Then they should relize what they are doing to you. and the other thing go out more with your mates and just stay out until when ever you want and just enjoy yourself dont worry about your mum and dad. Good luck make sure you do it!!!
2006-09-14 08:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by gary1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was getting ready to post something entirely different from this. As I was reading my answer to you I realized that what I was answering was not the question, but what I thought the question was. So here is my modified answer:
I can not say that I understand what you are going through because I am not from your culture or country. I can only imagine what you are going through. You see, in America the people, even the children, have become accustomed to follow their heart. Many times they do as they please, and later have to pay for their choices.
Now, I don't believe that your parents are right for the way they treat you, nor can I say that they are justified. I can say that I cannot believe that any parent wants to see their children sad.
I am thinking that they are being over protective, but for what reason? I come from a hispanic culture where the head of house was our father, and what he said was law. He never punished us, never hit us, but we all knew not to cross him. Later in life, it was difficult to adjust this way of thinking, but we each did. I now understand a little better as to why the family did.
Sit down with your mother and discuss this sadness with her. She will be the one that can explain your ways.
So, the answer to your question is, yes I do understand what you are going through. But I also know that if you become friends with your mother, perhaps later with your father, things will hopefully and strangely start changing.
2006-09-14 07:57:21 · answer #7 · answered by J j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still there?! You expect them to treat you as an adult so why dont you leave home? You have a job, surely you could rent somewhere to live? It sounds like you need a life of your own regardless of your parents attitude. Why have you no friends? You work so why dont you make friends? It sounds like there are 2 separate issues here. Your parents and your lack of enjoyment in your own life....
2006-09-14 07:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether you thinks it's good or bad, right or wrong, your parents clearly love you and care about you dearly.
As I'm sure many other people will say, it is because they care for you, and quite rightly so.
Also, if you are still living at home with your parents, this may sound like I'm over-reacting, but they are probably dreading the day you say to them "Mum, Dad, I've bought my own house".
2006-09-14 07:25:05 · answer #9 · answered by MrRSMan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they only control you because you let them do so, you are a 25 year old adult, move out share a house with a friend, they will get over it in time, my mum was controlling but i stood up to her when i was 19 she didn't like it but she got over it, the longer you allow this to go on the less likely you are to stop it, and the older you will get having no life outside work, get it sorted you are the only one who can do it good luck
2006-09-17 04:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by bluebell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋