I am thinking of only have my Best friend (30) my daughter (14), and my fiances brother (26) and his cousin (20) as our bridal party. Two problems:
1. I have been told by people that would be inappropriate because my daughter would have to walk with the 20 year old. I dont see a problem with it at all.
2. My older son (10) and my fiances brother (14) will be the ushers, and my son will also double as the person who will be walking me down the aisle. His mom think that I should have an adult walk me down (i dont have a father and my mother passed away a few years ago). I told her that my son is very important and since i was having my daughter up on stage with me, that he should get an important part as well.
Am i right? Or is having children in the wedding party not good? I say it is my day and if i want my kids in it- they should be.
2006-09-14 05:41:57 · 23 answers · asked by glorymomof3 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think that plan sounds WONDERFUL! :o) You should have someone very special give you away at your wedding and if that is your son is that person, then you go for it. I went to a friend's wedding recently (she was 32) and her 12 yr old son walked her down the aisle. I thought it was very touching and so, so special.
As for your daughter and fiance's brother walking down the aisle together - there is nothing wrong with that. Age is not even an issue here. What's next? Tall and short people should not walk down the aisle together? The two of them are not dating! They are walking down the aisle together... a very lovely idea!
I see nothing wrong with having children in the wedding party. It is your wedding. Besides, I think the point of having a wedding party is to have those you love and that love you support you. Seems your plan is to do just that.
One suggestion? Have a wedding program of some kind. The only reason I suggest this is because I have been to several weddings and no program was offered. When this happens I often don't know who the people are that are in the wedding party. I find it interesting to know who these people are. And those that may not know all of your wedding party would probably appreciate knowing who it is that is standing up for you.
Good luck!! :)
2006-09-14 06:42:44 · answer #1 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm with you on this one.
1. You are not asking your daughter to DATE a 20, just walk with him. So what if there's an age difference, they are going to be together as a supportive family to you and your fiance. Besides, from your daughter's view, she'll probably be thrilled to be paired with an older guy. Most young girls would be :-)
2. Since your daughter is in the wedding, you are right, he would probably feel left out if not included. I don't see any reason you need an adult to give you away. Tell your MIL that your son is the "man" in your family, and his walking you down the isle is his stamp of approval on the new "man" of the family. Same idea as a father giving away his daughter :-)
Besides the fact that you need to be happy at your wedding, they are your children and you are showing them how important they are to you by asking them to be a part of your day. You are also sending the message to the guests that your children accept their new father. You are presenting one united front at the wedding. I think it's a wonderful idea when parents include their children in a wedding. It shows them that while mommy/daddy is getting married, they are no less important or special.
2006-09-14 06:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen sweetie this is your day and you need to listen your heart. I used to be a wedding coordinator so hear me out. The only issue I see that may arise with your daughter being so young is if and only if you were throwing a bachelorette party in which your bridal party is typically invited. At my wedding I had my sisters in my wedding because they are a big part of my life and always will be. One is 17 and the other 13. The one that is 17 walked down the aisle with my husbands best friend which is 27 and the one that is 13 walked down the aisle with another friend of ours that is 24. They aren't going to shack up so there is no problem. Your son is a big part of your life and I think that it is awesome that you are including him in the wedding. It's very important that he feels like he is involved in the wedding and its awesome that you are showing him that honor of saying you mean the world to me and I am asking your approval. You are having a wedding with children which is fine like I said as long as they are all aware that this is a big deal and they need to be serious. They are all old enough to understand what this means so I think that you will be fine!! Congrats and don't let anyone ruin your day!
2006-09-14 05:54:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say tell the mom to shut her mouth and mind her own bussiness ,otherwise she will continue to intefer and then you'll be posting question like how to explain to the mom it is my wedding and chicken is what I want.It is your wedding so do what makes you happy.To understand both sides I can see why in today's society people might think that a 20 year old walking someone down the aisle is inapproaite since usually the guy that is the groomsmen if he isn't married is your date and since a 20 year old dating a 14 year old is not considered right.I can also seee your side forget old traditions start knew ones so I think a 20 year old walking a 14 year old is fine as long as they are both ok with it.
2006-09-14 17:59:19 · answer #4 · answered by movin12006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not inapproprite for your daughter to walk with a 20 year old
Your son and FI bro would make excellent ushers and you honor your son by letting him give you away at YOUR wedding...I think it absolutly a wonderful idea...I to have no father mine passed away and my younger brother walked all 5 of us girls down the aisle, separate times. Children in the wedding party is fine, its YOUR wedding. Honor your babies, this will make them feel more of apart of whats going on...Go for it and when someone gives that advise that you honestly just want to smack or tell kiss my butt, girl just grin and say thank you and do it YOUR way...Good Luck...and CONGRATS.....
2006-09-14 06:23:04 · answer #5 · answered by ABBYsMom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding. Do what you and your fiance wants. Everyone thinks that there are all these rules that are supposed to be followed, but all we're doing is making things too difficult and too complicated by worrying about that.
One thing matters: what makes you guys happy.
We're doing everything by our own rules in our wedding. I thought planning a wedding was going to be stressful, but since we've decided to do everything our way, it's actually fun!
Like you, we're a bit older and on marriage #2. The idea that someone else would tell us what we should or shouldn't do for our wedding is just beyond our comprehension.
Good luck!
2006-09-14 10:51:03 · answer #6 · answered by squirellywrath 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel there is nothing wrong with that, and the fact that you are close enough to your son to have him walk you down the isle is a very special idea. As for your daughter walking down the isle with a 20 year old.. if you (HER MOTHER) doesn't see a problem with it, than there isn't one *wink*
You are right to remember that it is your day, and as long as you are happy and it is a day to remember that is all that matters =)
Best of luck, and congrats.
2006-09-14 05:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ goddessofraine ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that all sounds great and very special.
If you're worried about your daughter walking with an adult, you could just have the bridal party line up (gals leave and then guys) so no one is really "walking together" (hope that makes sense).
2006-09-14 07:49:21 · answer #8 · answered by Toga748 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its your wedding. If you want your daughter and his cousin to walk together, there is nothing wrong with it. Its not like they are dating. Also, I think it would be wonderful to have your son give you away. I would politely tell your future m-i-l that it is your wedding, not hers. As long as your fiancee is OK with it all, then there should be no problems or controversey.
Good luck, and congratulations.
2006-09-14 06:31:40 · answer #9 · answered by Genny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do what you want hun, its your day not there's. What ever makes you happy. You do what you feel best. If you want your son to walk you down the aisle then he should. Good luck. Congrats by the way
2006-09-14 05:47:05 · answer #10 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋