I done it before and when we broke up it was hard on the kid he was 5.
2006-09-14 05:38:05 · 34 answers · asked by vandetta00 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she's smart or cares about her son, she won't let you two meet until you both agree that you are going to be in the picture for a while.
2006-09-14 05:47:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, that's quite a dilemma, the child should not be put through that pain of men coming and going out of his life. Now do you see yourself marrying this person. I guess the best solution is to wait until you are certain this is the person you would like to spend the rest of your life with and getting engaged is pretty close in the future. Then start spending more time with the child and see if you are compatible with the child also. For now I would keep an emotional distance, of course you will have to run into the kid every once in a while but don't engage in too much conversation/activity so that he does not create an attachment to you. If the mother plans day trips to the zoo and fairs or circuses and includes you tell her you don't think you are ready for that.
Please explain your past experience to your girlfriend so she doesn't think you just don't like him or you are not into kids. She actually she be the one more concerned than you are and should be recommending you have a minimal relationship with her child, if she knows what is good for her child.
Is the real father not a part of his life?
2006-09-14 05:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with dating a woman who has a child, you just need to be honest with yourself on what your looking for out of the relationship and her as well. i'm sure that this will sound cruel coming from me, but you need to make sure that she isn't "dating" you so that she will have a father for her child. i'm not saying all women are like that, but those that do that make the bad rap for the other single moms. also, my advice is that you don't get "introduced" to the child unless this is something you see going much futher down the road. it is very hard for a child to get over a breakup especially if they are very attached which some children do. and over time the will start to think something is wrong w/ them. but you both can always keep it as a friendship level if she does insist on you meeting her child. i know that when i was dating, i didn't let my b/f (whom i just married) meet my son until almost nine mths of us dating. and when i did it was still this is mommy's friend and we didn't kiss hold hands or anything in front. but if your concerned about the child already, then you are definitely a cut above the rest. good luck.
2006-09-14 05:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That can be hard on kids. I never minded dating women who had kids, but if I knew it was just a date, I didn't want to meet the kids. If I saw that the relationship was really taking off and going somewhere, then I would plan on doing things that involved the kids too somewhere down the line.
2006-09-14 05:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by Kris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even though he's five keep a relationship with him. You don't have to tell him everything but tell him the truth. Kids are smarter then you think. Also why can't you see the child after the break up? Just cuz you left the mom doesn't me you have to leave the kid. I'm sure if you did continue to see him he would be happier then ever. I know you get attach to the child unless it's a brat. Good Luck!
2006-09-14 05:43:18 · answer #5 · answered by aimstir31 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you can handle ALL that is involved then go for it. But I would make sure. Maybe try seeing if something really clicks with the girl first before meeting and hanging out with the child.
Just know that she will/should always put the child first. Don't try to come between them or anything like that. Good luck to you. Just make sure that you understand everything involved, which I'm sure you do since you have been in this situation before.
2006-09-14 05:41:29 · answer #6 · answered by starlet_80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me any single mother with young children out in the dating world needs to be picky with the men she chooses. Get to know each other first before even thinking of envolving the child. If your intentions are good, and you two are compatible then it's a risk your going to have to take. Should it not work out then try to make things as easy as posible on the kid, they may be young but they do have some sense of what's going on.
2006-09-14 05:47:45 · answer #7 · answered by Jessye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make sure that you really like this girl... and if it could be promising in the future. Do you want this child to be yours? If not, dont get involved, you will only end up hurting both of them. Other than that, there is nothing wrong with dating a girl with a son, as long as you will love her son as if he were your own.
2006-09-14 05:42:47 · answer #8 · answered by s..... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on you. Are you ready to step up to the role of "dad"? Are you grown up enough to be a good role model? If the answer is yes, go for it but if not I would not even attempt it. I would make it clear that I am not ready to be put into that position. I would let it be known that I would really love to be friends. If you are friends, when the time comes and you are ready to settle down, she will be there. There is always the problem that she may not be available then though.
2006-09-14 05:45:47 · answer #9 · answered by a_n_cassell 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a son. I think if you like the girl you should go for it, but make sure you aren't around her son AT ALL until you are sure it could really go somewhere, also if you are around him, set up some guidelines. If it gets serious you get to know the kid, you should ask her if you would still be able to come around and see him even if it doesn't work out. But you'd have to really do it, and it would take a lot of maturity on both your parts...just take it slow, but please be prepared to still be around for the boy if it goes somewhere!!!
2006-09-14 05:42:28 · answer #10 · answered by Jo G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I admire the fact that you're asking. It is hard on the children especially if they grew attached to you. My only advise is to approach it cautiously. If you know in your heart that it might not be the smartest thing, putting in consideration your feelings for the mother, how likely it is to work out etc. Don't judge whether it's right or wrong by previous relationships. I've known several guys who date and are in serious relationships with women who have kids. And they don't regret anything. If you're mature enough to handle it...go for it. :)
2006-09-14 05:48:50 · answer #11 · answered by germ_ball 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋