Socialization?

Question

I mean this as a very sincere question to those of you opposed to home education is it really the socialization that is a problem for you or the kind of socialization? The reason I ask that is because for our family personally, both of my children get along greatly with others. We were invited to a pool party and there were children there from ages 6-14 and mine didn't stand off in the corner, scared of the world. They played and interacted and at the end of the night our 12yo sat with another 12yo boy (whom he just met) and a 13 yo girl in the hot tub and they laughed and had a wonderful time conversing. When we go to the store, they look the cashiers in the face and speak to them coherently when they make a purchase and the same holds true for waitors/waitresses. At Blues on the Beach a few weeks ago our 12yo went off on his own and the other night while at a fundraiser in which my hubby's heavy metal band played both children were off playing with other kids... see details

They go to their friends throughout each week and somedays are just us. My daughter is in gymnastics and my son wants to join karate so may I ask you...since it is obvious my children interact fine socially as do other homeschoolers I'm just curious...

Do you only think people can be happy if they are socialized in the schools? What if they are truly happy outside of school walls and function fine in society...are you still opposed to homeschooling in that case?

LOL...Jessie, I was just coming to post back and ask bifrost something along those same lines. :-)

Bifrost, in schools you are only limited to socializing with the same people day in and day out, hopefully you are in other than school extra-curricular activities where you can meet other people. How is that freedom? My children go to other kids' homes who they like and choose to be friends with so how is that parent directed? When my children make friends at various groups or activities, they are friends that they choose. Surely you wouldn't have me believe that no public schooled kids have no friends that have come from someone mom and dad have known, would you? I think that there has to be healthy balance, don't you?

Answer 1

I think those opposed to homeschooling believe, for some reason, that we *need* to spend lots of time as kids with a ton of other people the same age to be able to develop 'social skills'. I'm not sure what naysayers mean by that, though, and when I ask, I never get a clear answer.

The reality of the situation is that people are assuming that the way they grew up is what they needed in order to have the social skills they now have. Of course, not all public schooled or private schooled students come out of school with ideal social skills, so I'm not sure why it's believed that it's the incessant group situation that is the way these social skills are developed.

I've taken psychology courses and just read books on psychology on my own. I even had to take courses on educational and developmental psychology as part of my teacher training. Nowhere did it indicate that human beings needed to have 35 hours a week with same-aged peers in order to develop proper social skills. And it would actually be ludicrous for someone to postulate such a thing. Humans have how many thousands of years of existence without children having been forced into same-aged group setting for 13 years? Those children grew up into adults still capable of interacting with others, conducting business... The schools of the past (for the rich) were extremely strict and there was even less socializing than now. (And yet the rich were the ones considered to have the best manners and social skills!) Did that create young men who were incapable of functioning in society? Hardly.

It really boils down to false reasoning. The belief is that kids need to be around other kids, A LOT, to be able to have proper social skills. When that belief is in place, homeschooling can not possibly fit in. If that belief could be removed, then we'd get somewhere.

Answer 2

It sounds like you're doing a good job. Great, it would be nice if all homeschoolers did. But even some kids in regular schools don't do as well. There's a rotten apple in every basket. Unfortunately, in school, kids also learn how to deal with the problem people which you will also have in the work environment which we hopefully are training our children to also be successful in.

Answer 3

What????!!! But... we are NOT socialists!!!!!!
LOL.

We are actually quite social. My husband complains that we are TOO social. We spend more time with friends and activities than at home.

But I don't think that it would matter to anyone that doesn't know us. The only way to get to know someone is to meet them and talk to them.

Isn't it *funny* how everything in life becomes a competition?
Children start out in the school lunch room with comments like, "Eeeew, you like tuna???---- *I* have pizza-snackers!!!" (thinking.... hahaha, i'm better....)

My home school is not competing with the public school system. We are just independent from it.

We are well acquainted with many people from gov't schools, private schools, home schools, co-op schools, charter schools, un-schools.....and goodness knows how many others!!!

Socialization. It's a silly label that is really meaningless when it comes to formal academic education.

A baby is socialized the moment it is born. It is greeted by mom, nurse or midwife, maybe a doctor, dad, siblings, aunties, unclies, grandies---- then the social structure keeps building -- neighbors, friends, etc.....

Now maybe we ought to begin talking life-style, sub-culture, influences, etc..... These things are more important than "socialization". The question is how do we socialize and with whom?

Answer 4

Thank you for this. I can't stand when I read answers posted by people who don't have a clue saying that homeschooled kids are social retards. Mine aren't either.

My kids are well mannered and behaved, they aren't afraid of social situations and love to be around other people. We are members of the YMCA and my two oldest have swimming lessons with other kids (not to mention all the other activities there). We are members of our zoo, where they interact with people of all ages and ethnicities. They play commuinty sports and are involved in community volunteerism, where they interact with all sorts of people.

Whereas, in public school, one is limited to only spending time with kids their own age. The only adult interaction they get is learning to follow orders. The funny thing is, the thing that most people fail to realize, is that most "socialization" is done outside of school, with kids in their own neighborhood. Why is it assumed that homeschooled kids don't hang out with kids in their neighborhoods?

Answer 5

My concern about this type of socialization is that it is totally controlled by parents. The child doesn't know, or get the opportunity to create his own social spheres. I think that might affect his ability to deal with real world issues outside the immediate influence of parents. This isn't so important with younger children, but it might influence how well one deals with life once one goes away to school.

Answer 6

It depends what area you're in and what homeschooling groups there are. Here in Tucson there are several groups numbering well over 500-800 families. They are well organized. But if you are in a rural area it's much harder.

Answer 7

Thanks for that..I'm just so tired of hearing the negative from people who just have no clue about home schooling!