My daughter thinks???????????????

Question

Hi i am 20 year old single mom and my daughter thinks my roomate/ now boyfriend is her father.My daughter Jamie is 2 years old and fairly well behaved. When i moved into the apartment Kevin my roomate and now steady boyfriend felt sorry for me i had to beg him he was a junior in college and i was a freshmen to let me stay. We are alot like a family but i feeling as if i am lying to her i am getting married to Kevin hopefully next spring. We will be moving and are only staying here till i can transfer.My daughters father though has been coming to visit me finally giving me child support and wants to see my daughter? what should i do she does not know him?My boyfriend has gotten very mad at me for even speaking to him and i dont want problems.

Her father still goes to the same college as me but up until this year there has been no contact or communication.How should i introduce my daughter to her real father?

My bf has threatened to call of the wedding

my ex.bf name is on the birth certificate

Answer 1

Nobody has two daddy's The best thing to do is try to go back to your husband if possible, unless he was physically abusive to you.

If not, then then just tell her your next husband is her step-dad.

Answer 2

Ok even though her father has had nothing to do with her up until now he has the right to see her not only that but it's a good thing that he wants to see her. If a little girl grows up knowing her real dad wanted nothing to do with her it would have a huge effect on her. I understand that it is causing a problem in your new relationship but let me tell you it doesn't get any better with time. If your boyfriend it too immature to handle being the "step-dad" (and that is what he is no matter how hard he tries he will never be able to take her fathers place)and having her father in your life then you might as well get rid of him now. Save yourself the heartache because after you're married it will just get worse!! My daughters step dad has been there since she was 18 months and her real father came into her life when she was four. She thought my husband was her dad. When I told her the truth it was like she had known all along. Your 2 year old will not be trauitized in any way, shape, or form, by the news. Plus you will feel relieved because your not hiding anything from her. Think very very very long and hard before you marry your boyfriend. The jealousy DOES NOT GET BETTER and after you are married and have a child with him it's 10 times harder to leave.GOOD-LUCK

Answer 3

I had the same problem, she is at that age where she knows right from wrong talk with her tell her the the truth, that the one guy is real father while the other is a stepdad, if the really father wants to be in her life he needs to do if on a regular schedule not whenever he wants too that will confuse her more, for the new boyfriend he know your story when you got together, he knew there was another man in your life somewhere hello you had a kid that was not his so he needs to be man and let the father come into the daughter life as needed hope everything works out for you.

Answer 4

Correct me if I am wrong, but you were never married correct? Is the biological father on the birth certificate? If both of those questions are a no, then he has absolutely no right to Jamie whatsoever. If he really wants to, he can go out and get a DNA test on his own (which is useless without getting her DNA as well), and go to an attorney in order to start the process to try and prove that she is his. Until he goes through all the trouble to prove he is the father (which if he hasn't shown interest until two years later, he probably isn't), he has absolutely no rights to even see her. The real question is, do you want the X to be involved in either your life or Jamie's. If your boyfriend wants to, he can adopt her and that would make much of the debate a non issue. Once you get to the legal aspects, check the local and state laws, each state is different.

Answer 5

Please let her meet her real father. It is so important for people to know where they come from. Especially because she is only 2 years old. In a year or so, she won't even know that she never new him. Her real dad is so important to her- more then you'll ever know. My step son met his father when he was 18 months old, afterh thinking somebody else was his father. He loves to be with his dad and has no idea that his dad wasn't there from day one.

First, start out slow and meet at the park for an hour or so a couple days of the week. Eventually, let him take her on his own. I can't even explain how important this it. They need their time together.

Answer 6

Your ex boyfriend is your daughters father. If you new boyfriend doesn't like to damn bad. He may have taken a while to come around, but hey he is here now, so let him be. Tell the new bf that your ex is the father and he has a right to get to see his little girl. If he can't deal with it, sorry to say but maybe you should move on to someone more mature and understanding of the actual fathers feelings.

Answer 7

I have a freind who has 2 children with different fathers and is now married for the 3rd time. This guy she has now is a wonderful father to her children. The oldest father is an active part of her life and she calls him Daddy and the other guy papa. The boys father is not there very much of at all and even though he knows that this guy is not his bio dad, he is more of a father to him. A Dad is someone who takes care of you everyday and is there for you when you need them and when you don't. Biology is not the improtant part here. Anyone can donate sperm or an egg, but that does not make them the "parents" it makes them donors...

Answer 8

Not telling your daughter who her real father is is fraud, my husband's ex just got an order from the judge telling her that it is a crime and that she has commited fraud upon the child by telling her that her stepdad is the real father. So be careful, let her know that the boyfriend is "kevin" and her dad is "daddy." Simple as that.
Your boyfriend is overstepping his boundaries and not respecting your daughter's and her father's rights.
You don't want problems, well you got it with a boyfriend that is already acting that way before even being your husband.

Answer 9

You can not deny the father to see his child. If you deny him to see the child then he can go to court and petition the court to have the child removed from your custody. If you boyfriend does not see that this other guy is in your life forever, then he needs to either grow up or you need to move on. If this gets him that mad, then you have some serious issues going forward.

he needs to understand no matter how much he dislikes the father of your child, he still is the father, and he will come around forever to see his child.

Answer 10

Do you have a friend, relative, church-lady, or somebody you trust who could coordinate a visit with your daughter & her biological dad? you don't necessarily even need to see him.

You are not going to be able to lie and pretend to your daughter that never works. Tots don't known the diff between step-dad and bio-dad and boyfriend-dad -- they just know a dad who takes care of them and cares

Your boyfriend will need to be a grown-up and trust you and let you do what you can for your daughter. Esp with the child support and if your baby daddy will have a good permanent father relationship with her.

Answer 11

Your daughter deserves to know and see her real father, especially since he is paying child support. If you had to beg your bf to move in with you and he is threatening to call of the wedding because your daughter's father wants to be in her life, then he is no good get rid off him.