What Should I Do?

Question

Hi everyone...Really looking for some opinions and advice.

I care very, very dearly for a girl. She was sort of my high school sweetie. We have always kept in touch; three years ago she moved to Europe and then New York City to go to film school. Recently though, we have been talking even more, and she has considered coming to visit home and as a result me. I have plans too....I considered moving to the western part of the country, then considered moving east, because that way I could be closer to her.....Sounds crazy I know, but what can make you crazier than love? The thing is, I need to have a life, I need to get going with it.....Should I move away, or should I wait for her a little longer. Do I wait and see if I will actually get the chance to see her again, and try to build a serious realtionship, or should I give it all up, try to put these seven years out of my mind, and move on?

What do you guys recommend. She knows how I feel about her, and seems....Interested?

Answer 1

I think you should come right out and ask her if she feels the same. I have been in a similar situation myself with a guy who definitely seemed to like me (his behaviour to me indicated that either he liked me a lot or he was a crazed psychopath LOL!!) but he was so shy and scared he never took it any further. I know someone else too who's been deeply in love with the same man for many years. He is no way interested in that poor woman and she breaks her heart over him whenever he as much as speaks to another woman. I think it's so sad to waste time on things like this - your girl could be agonising over you and praying every night for you to make some more positive move. At least if you do, you'll know one way or the other.

Good luck.

Answer 2

Hi there. I must say love does make you do crazy things. Sounds like though she is a very ambitious and motivating person. Film school and traveling...wow! She might not be ready to settle down but heres the thing, if she knows how you feel about her, have a further in depth conversation with her and let her know what your thoughts are around her. She might not want to hear it now but maybe she just doesnt get the seriousness behind your commitment to her. You need to first know what her goals are for her .... to me, she wants a career first. But this is only my best guess. You should not stop your plans and your dreams for anyone! Trust me on this one. Dont lose your dreams and identity to anyone b/c you will regret it in the future. You will only know how she feels about you if you talk with her. If you interfere in her career, then again, there could be resentment down the line. But love is funny like you said....but when you speak with her, bring peace, comfort and ease into your conversation and dont act so desperate either. Girls pick up on that stuff. Believe in your higher power too. Without knowing what she's like, its hard to say what will happen here. But she seems really motivated in life and the fact that she wants to meet up with you, kind of says she thinks about you, if nothing else. Do what your heart says to do. Follow that! Follow your instincts. If you are desiring of her, pursue it with dignity and compassion and realize, dont get your hopes up either. She might not like you in the manner you wish for. You may have to come to terms with that. Either way, she will always be a friend if nothing else.

Answer 3

Talk to her and try to pinpoint a time that she is coming or you can go visit her, If she does not want to or cant give you an answer then move on with your life. You cant wait for someone forever that would just be a waste of your life. Do what makes YOU happy and if it is meant to be eventually you will connect with her.

Answer 4

Go with your heart and if she knows how you feel maybe before you move anywhere just for her maybe you should try visiting her and you two should go on a date and see how things go....dont make any important decisions like this to fast moving is a big change and you never what could happen......if u two of you want a realationship and she wants the same thing as you then go for it if she says she doesnt know what she wants then I wouldnt move just to be with her and before you do anything just think.

Answer 5

What you have not said is how she feels about you. Talk to her, listen carefully and find out how she feels about you and what direction she wants to take the relationship towards. If she does not see or want a serious relationship then cut your losses and look elsewhere. Yes that would hurt, but it would hurt more to drag out a relationship that is going nowhere.

Answer 6

I am in the same issue, i have been in Love for over 10 years and he and i still talk. But it is best that way.....as friends! i am now married and have 2 lil girls with my hubby whom i love to death! but when i was thinking about how i am inlove with my best friend, but it will never be. We are best best friends and it is better that way. We still talk to this day and have no issues.

Answer 7

Call her.

Tell her you love her and would like to be in a relationship. Don't be a wheenie and wait for a hypothetical chance that you might incidentally run into her. If you wanna know... call. If you don't wanna know... don't.

It's REALLY that simple.

Answer 8

Communication is the key to ANY relationship be it friend, parents to children or between lovers.
Talk to this person about your plans, and make sure you listen when they talk to you.

Answer 9

tell her what you just said. be open with her and tell her that you have to move on and if shes interested she can move on with you. cos time is not on your side.

Answer 10

Yeah! Call her and ask