first of all, i am 29, he is 33. we are financially ready but DO need a bigger house and hope to move by summer. we have 2 children -8 &10 yrs old. they arent biologically his sons but he is their only dad.so hes never had a child of his own. he keeps changing his mind about when to start trying. he'll bring it up one day and say "i want you to stop your birth control pills at the end of this pack" then change his mind the next day. hes done this several times and he knows how much im ready NOW. it breaks my heart. i get so excited only to be let down. we've talked about it and he knows how i feel, but says hes scared that we either wont have enough money or a big enough house or that something is going to happen to me in birth, theres always something. i keep reminding him that even if we conceived right away, we still have 9 mos. until the baby comes. i dont know if i should just give up or hold him to his word? i feel like i am obsessing about this and i dont want to do that!
2006-09-14 04:20:44 · 9 answers · asked by tulips♥77 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
guys you are halarious but i cant just stop the pills behind his back - its like lying to him and i cant do that
2006-09-14 04:45:49 · update #1
He sounds confused and I feel terrible for you. I would feel the same way and I think what I would do is just let it happen. You two sound ready (financially and emitionally)... do what YOU feel is the right thing to do in your heart.
Have you explained to him how this is tearing you up??
2006-09-14 04:25:29 · answer #1 · answered by Lisa H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello just stop taking the birth control and get pregnant and once your pregnant say you know what damn birth control must not have worked so heres the baby you wanted now. He'll either hate you or be happy about it but Im assuming he'll love you for it he's just to nervous to make up his mind on his own so he keeps changing his mind. If you keep waiting on him to fully make up his mind on his own it's looking pretty obvious you'll be waiting a very long time if ever. If he loves you he's going to be happy he's the one who really wants you to have one for him anyway so as a guy I'd say he'll love it when you tell him your pregnant and if not theres always the morning after pill.
2006-09-14 04:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by jim m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's not like you can pick a date on when to conceive. It will definately not happen until you're ovulating. Let your husband know that it takes time. You should have kids when you're still young and physically able to take care of them. Especially when your husband's 2 kids are still young, you want them to feel the connection to your baby.
My youngest brother is 14 years younger than me. I have difficult communicating to him because of our age difference. Now, I'm married with a baby on the way and he's still playing video games and watching cartoons. Besides worrying about my unborn child, I have to babysit my brother on Saturdays. My parents are putting too much pressure on me by telling me to focus on my brother, when my baby can come any minute.
2006-09-14 05:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by Mrs Apple 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is an insecure, good hearted, caring and a weak decision-making person. As a man of the house, he should just make a strong decision without qualms for you to accept and
follow. Instead he chose not to be and place you in an excited,
led-down situation.
I would advise to you try again with patience and confidence to
persuade him whether it's time to conceive.
2006-09-14 04:47:54 · answer #4 · answered by steplow33 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I absolutely agree, you shouldn't stop behind his back, he would end up resenting you and the child. You should just sit down and talk to him and tell him to be honest with you. I mean he may just be scared after he says it, then he thinks "god this could really happen now" so you just need to sit him down and have a serious talk. Tell him that you are starting to feel that he doesn't want to have a baby.
2006-09-14 05:03:28 · answer #5 · answered by Muffin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same problem with my husband but he has 2 kids and I have none. He kept changing his mind all the time. I have found a new doctor that has made him fell much more at ease about not losing me. Last month he decided that he wanted to start trying so we will see what happens. If you wish to email please feel free, just add @yahoo.com to my screen name.
2006-09-14 04:32:37 · answer #6 · answered by naute_girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
stop the pills .guys never get ready til theres a baby on the way
2006-09-14 04:42:23 · answer #7 · answered by kleighs mommy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked so I am going to tell you based on what you said and what's between the lines.
YOU want to have another child and YOU are sure about it.
HE IS NOT.
You are pressuring him which is not a good thing. If you love him and want to maintain your relationship, BACK OFF!
2006-09-14 04:46:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like he is not ready. I wouldn't rush him. He needs to be ready just like you are. Listen to his concerns and support his thinking. He'll come around.
2006-09-14 04:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋