My man doesnt seem to handle taking my emotions really well. He gets frustrated, and he tells me to not be so emotional. Sometimes when i tell him that im not feeling so good and that he is the only person that i want to be around when i feel bad. He says things like, yes fine i understand that but i dont like the way you get.
Bare in mind that because I know he doesnt like it, i keep the emotional break down to a really low level. Still he just doesnt seem to want to communicate with me, or want to hear what I say when im down.
Please just help me understand. Its not that he doesnt love me, its just i feel he is so emotionless when it comes to being sad.
Understandable??
2006-09-14 04:15:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yep, men are different to women. When men worry, their coping strategy is to go into their "cave" You konw, when they go quiet and don't want to talk about what's bothering them? That's when they're sorting stuff out in their heads. The problem is, women cope in an entirely different way. In order for women to feel better, we need to talk. We don't want solutions to the problems we have (most of the time there aren't any solutions, we just feel down) We just need to go on and on about it until we're so fed up of talking about it, its no longer worth worrying about.
You shouldn't have to accept this though. Women often accomodate men by leaving them alone when they have a problem. We understand they need to be left alone. Men can't seem to do this for us though. They think how they worry is how everyone worries and they don't understand why us women need to natter so much.
A simple solution would be to say to him "I know you don't like my moods, but when I'm moody, its cos I want to talk about it. You don't have to offer me solutions to my problems, I'm not wanting you to fix anything, I just need to blabber on to you and for you to say uh huh and oh, that's awful now and then. I will get out of my mood quicker that way"
You need to stress that you don't want him to offer solutions. That's what makes men mad. They think because you're upset, its their fault and you want them to fix it. Silly men :-D
2006-09-14 04:25:10 · answer #1 · answered by Xenophonix 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men need to maintain an "emotionless" physic because guys feel that letting their guard down is not an easy thing to do. A man also feels like the provider, and the protector to his women and this sence of emotional unstablitiy (from a guys thinking) would make him seem less in control. Women socialise all the time showing their emotions so its because a second nature to them. Men on the other hand don't do that, and with a woman it is particularly hard because once that gate is open, there's no closing it, and the hurt a guy feels when he feels betrayed is 10 times worse than a woman, because men open up much less. What you have to do is be consistant, if he loves you he'll open up in time. Just be sure you have a good man and not an incensitive jerk.
2006-09-14 11:27:55 · answer #2 · answered by Game Guy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's understandable to a point....it's true, generally men are more hesitant to show their emotions and feelings than women. I am probably more of an emotional guy than a lot of them out there, I personally think that it all comes down to communication and compromise. Both of you need to be able to understand how the other one ticks, maybe there's another way to reach out to him, I don't really know what that would be. But maybe you could just ask him. I would just throw out this piece of advice, and I'm not saying all women do this. Men just think that women who are too emotional are high-maintenance and they don't really want to deal with the drama, and then women often make it worse by "nagging" them. Again, I'm not saying all women are guilty, but us guys are idiots and we don't know what to do with you sometimes, so just keep it simple with what you say and your body language, etc. Good luck!
2006-09-14 11:32:27 · answer #3 · answered by spb428 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are an emotional wreck and no guy wants to deal with all that. You are wearing him down, and if you're not careful, he'll leave one day. Try not to get so emotional, and consider leaning on someone else also, when times are hard so it's not all on him. He doesn't want to be your authority figure, or you're shoulder to cry on all the time. He wants to be your boyfriend. He's probably not heartless in anyway, he's just getting worn out by all your constant drama.
2006-09-14 11:21:14 · answer #4 · answered by Yen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say this, but you sound a bit like a drama queen. Emotional break down??? Who enjoys hearing someone wants to be around them when they're not feeling so good? Who enjoys someone who's totally focused on them selves and all weepy if they don't get attention because they're feeling emotional? Sounds a lot like a 4 year old crying louder because mommy isn't paying attention to a tantrum.
He's telling you he doesn't like it! Everyone has emotions and no one else's are any less improtant to them than yours seem to you. He's going to close up everytime you start up and eventually ditch you for someone who's adult enough to handle their emotions without having to depress everyone else around them.
2006-09-14 11:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by IAINTELLEN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not emotionless (you just said he loves you). It's just that Men handle emotions differently than women do. We usually don't talk about it. Besides, when men talk about women emotional things we usually get in trouble, so we do the smart thing and say nothing.
2006-09-14 11:22:33 · answer #6 · answered by Daddy Big Dawg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ohh completely understandable. look i know and completly sympathise with ur situation. i have suffered quite some sleepless night and heart ache over such a soul mate. you know you love him but that emotional absence troubles you a lot. i read this beautiful line somewhere.." if someone doesnt love you the way you want them to doesnt mean they dont love you atall". and its true. his love is just diffrent. just turn the situation around you expect him to be all emotional cause he loves you.... why cant he expect u to curb the emotions 'cause u love him. we women have some God made inbuilt mechanisum with emotinal breakdown which God forgot to install in most men and thats the way it is and we have to deal with it.
make friends and turn to them for those "break-downs" i know its hard and at those times you just need ur man next to you, but trust me it will get better with time... talk to him about it sometimes but dont nag, thats not gonna get either of u anywher.
good luck mate
2006-09-14 11:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel that you are really unhappy about this emotionless man of yours it even shows in your nickname but i want to say that you man has a defect, to keep a woman you need to be sensitive to her feelings so if your man is not giving you his shoulder when you are in your tring times i suggest that you start for a man who would really have the male intelligence enough to know that your emotion are a real part of your person
2006-09-14 11:22:00 · answer #8 · answered by nayo 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
difficult Q to ans but as u no that men r frm mars
u will hv to take it that there different people with different views
even i hv the same probs but its the other way round my guy feels it this way but i tel him that men shud be strong in all ways but not rude i tel him to pour out watever he has in his heart weather important or not (sometimes i feel bored) and it has to come out now he has another frnd to share with (his puppy) he talks with him n i don get bored now a days
2006-09-14 11:37:23 · answer #9 · answered by jaduami 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a man and they don't and won't understand why we get emotional. one day je will so just hang in there. and if you can try not to let him know your down and just want to be under him.because one day he is going to want to be under you and you wont be there
2006-09-14 11:20:18 · answer #10 · answered by ms1choc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋