What are your views on online relationships?

Question

As in: dating someone, saying you're taken, but never have met the person.

My friend is doing this and I would just like to see what other people see this as. Is it real?

They talk on the phone every day. She's 16 and he's 20. I'm concerned.

Answer 1

this is my views about online relationship....
take a look at this!

LURKING, PREYING OR BROWSING FOR LOVE?
WARNING ON INTERNET AFFAIRS

SO YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND ON THE NET...GREAT! BUT ARE YOU ASKING YOURSELF IF IT IS DANGEROUS TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP ONLINE OR IT IS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO FIND A MATE?

ROMANCES FORMED ON THE INTERNET FOLLOWS A LOT OF SCRIPT. I SHOULD SAY SO...FROM DEVELOPING EMOTIONAL INTIMACY TO GOING BEYOND THE MOMENT OF REALITY...WELL, IT IS A LONG PROCESS.
LOVE AT FIRST BYTE? HMMM...THATS A BIG QUESTION! I WILL TELL YOU MY STORY IN THE LATER PART AND YOU WILL BE AMAZED.

WELL, INTERNET AFFAIRS CAN BE DANGEROUS AND CAN ALSO BE ACCEPTABLE. IF YOU ARE CAUTIOUS, INTELLIGENT AND SMART ENOUGH YOU CAN MINIMIZE THE DANGER AND GET MANY BENEFITS OF INTERNET RELATIONSHIPS. THE BENEFITS LIKE THAT OF: YOU GOT AN INSTANT ENGLISH TEACHER, AN ENGLISH TUTORIAL, A SCHOOL WITH LOW TUITION FEES YOU JUST LOG ON AND PRESTO! BUT BE PREPARED FOR YOUR TIME, YOUR EFFORT, YOUR ENERGY, YOUR INTERNET BILLS AND SO ON AND SO FORTH. AND ONCE YOU GET ALONG WITH IT. IT WILL BE A LOT OF FUN.

ARE YOU THE ONE WHO ALWAYS WANT TO REACH FOR YOUR MOUSE WITH SWEATY PALMS? OR THE ONE WHO GOT A BUTTERFLY IN YOUR STOMACH? OR THE ONE WHO IS LOOKING FOR SOME E-MAILS AND LOOKING FOR HIM ONLINE? OH! YOU CAN'T ESCAPE THE FACT...LOVE HAS JUST ARRIVED! AND HEY GET READY FOR AN EYEBAGS AND PINGS ON YOUR CELLPHONE.

THE INTERNET IS A REMARKABLE SITUATION IS WHICH YOU CAN IMAGINE ALL KIND OF THINGS ABOUT THE PERSON YOU ARE TALKING TO WITHOUT A VOICE (THANKS THERES A MESSENGER WITH VOICE CALLS AND THANKS YOUR SELF IF YOU CAN AFFORD BROADBANDS) THE LITTLE CLUES THAT ARE PRESENT IN THE "IN PERSON" OR "FACE TO FACE" RELATIONSHIP. YOUR IMAGINATION CAN RUN PRETTY WILD AND YOU CAN BUILD A PICTURE OF SOMEONE EXTREMELY DESIRABLE THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FULFILL. THIS IS WHY MOST GIRLS EVENTUALLY GET DISAPPOINTED WHEN THEY MEET THEIR "ONLINE" BOYFRIEND IN PERSON. THEIR "ONLINE LOVERS" SOUNDS REALLY GREAT ONLINE BUT WHEN THEY MET THEM IN PERSON, THERE IS JUST NO SPARKS AFTER ALL SO THEY END UP MEETING ONLY ONCE.

WE OFTEN HEAR TALES OF SECRET AFFAIRS PEOPLE HAVE VIA INTERNET. THE INTERNET LOVER OFTEN LEADS A DOUBLE LIFE THINKING THEY WILL NEVER BE CAUGHT. ADDICTED, THEY RACE TO THEIR COMPUTERS AND LOG INTO THEIR PRIVATE MAILBOX HOPING THEIR NET LOVERS HAS LEFT THEM A MESSAGE.

THE INTERNET HAS BEEN BLAMED FOR BREAKING UP MARRIAGES AND OTHER RELATIONSHIPS. IT HAS ALLOWED MANY TO HAVE SECRET AFFAIRS. FOR SOME IT HAS ALLOWED THEM TO LEAVE UNHAPPY RELATIONSHIPS AND START NEW ONES. I WOULD LIKE TO GIVE EXAMPLES THAT I AM FAMILIAR WITH ESPECIALLY SINCE I AM ONE OF THE MAIN CHARACTERS. SO READ THIS...

THE RELATIONSHIP TURNED INTO A LOVE RELATIONSHIP WHICH APPROXIMATELY MEANS THAT THERE ARE NO LETTERS WITHOUT FLIRTATION OR COMPLIMENTS BETWEEN US.THIS COULD NOT, OF COURSE, BE SO IN REAL LIFE AT LEAST NOT UNTIL WE HAVE MET. FINALLY AFTER STRUGGLING FOR SO MANY HOURS ON THE NET, CATCHING COLDS AND GETTING EYEBAGS I FINALLY MET MY MAN AFTER 4 MONTHS AND IT DID HAPPEN LAST JANUARY 8 TILL THE 21ST THIS YEAR 2006. FINALLY, THE WAITING FOR ME IS OVER.
YET, IT WAS A PRETTY BRAVE MOVE. I FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS MAN WITH MY ONCE VIRTUAL SWEETHEART- THE REAL LIVE INDIVIDUAL



THE DANGER SEEMS TO COME FROM TRUSTING TOO MUCH NOT VERIFYING INFORMATION AND ALSO BECOMING OVERLY INVOLVED OR TOO ADDICTIVE TO THEIRS LOVERS EMOTIONALLY.
THERE IS REAL PAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENTS THAT ACCOMPANY LOVE ON THE NET. THOSE WHO DONT WANT TO OBSERVE THE REAL CAUTION CAN SUFFER FROM A REAL AND LONG HEALING SCARS OF LIFE.

I HAVE HEARD OF GUYS AND GIRLS WHO HAVE "FALLEN IN LOVE" OVER SOMEONE ON THE NET. IF YOU ARE ONE OF THEM...HERE IS SOME WORDS OF CAUTION FOR YOU PEOPLE.

REMEMBER, EACH PERSON MEANS DIFFERENT THING WHEN HE OR SHE SAYS "ILOVEYOU" IF YOU HAVE NEVER MET SOMEONE AND YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF IN LOVE AND THE FEELING IS TOO STRONG THAT YOU ARE PRE-OCCUPIED WITH THOUGHTS OF YOUR LOVE EVERYTIME WHETHER ONLINE OR NOT THEN I THINK YOU ARE PRONE TO LIVING IN FANTASY AND THAT IS DANGEROUS.
THERE ARE THOSE WHO FANTASIZE A LOT OF THEIR LOVERS ONLINE AND WHO ALWAYS DAYDREAMING AND LOSE THEIR SENSE OF REALITY. THESE PEOPLE ARE PRONE TO ADORE THEIR LOVED ONE AND IT WILL BE VERY DIFFICULT FOR THEM TO ESCAPE AND RETURN BACK TO THE REALITY UNHARMED.

ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE REAL PERSON OR JUST A FANTASY CREATED BY SOMEONE ON THE OTHER END OF THE LINE? HOW ARE YOU SURE YOU KNOW YOUR LOVER ONLINE IS ENOUGH FOR YOU? I THINK THIS IS ONE OF THE PROBLEM WITH MEETING PEOPLE ONLINE. WHEN YOU MEET ONLINE YOU BECOME INTERESTED IN PEOPLE YOU WOULD HAVE IGNORED IF YOU HAVE SEEN THEM ONLY IN PERSON.

STILL, INTERNET RELATIONSHIP CAN BE INTERESTING AND ENJOYABLE BUT FIRST DON'T TRADE IT FOR REAL "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP. MORE THAN LIKELY IT WAS ALSO AN EXPERIENCE FOR YOU WHEN YOU LOGGED ON TO THE NET THE VERY FIRST TIME. INITIALLY, ALL OF US WERE OVERWHELMED BY THE ABUNDANCE OF THE POSSIBLITIES. THEN AS WE BECAME MORE FAMILIAR WITH THE USE OF WORLDWIDE WEB WE COME ACROSS ONE OF ITS MOST EXCITING POTENTIAL AND THAT IS THE JOY OF MEETING PEOPLE. IN ORDER FOR SUCH MEETING TO BE MADE SIMPLER THERE ARE NUMBER OF SITES ON THE NET THAT FACILITATE FINDING FRIENDS AND PARTNERS.IF ANYONE USES THE INTERNET FOR ANYTHING BEYOND TECHNICAL INFORMATION THEY ARE REQUIRED TO LEARN NOT ONLY THE TECHNOLOGY BUT ALSO THE ETIQUETTE. THE LATTER IS THE MOST DIFFICULT AS IT IS STILL BEING FORMED.THE REASON THE FORMULATION IS MADE DIFFICULT IS BECAUSE CONTRARY TO ALL TRADITION WE ARE WITHOUT IDENTITY AND ACCOUNTABILITY ON THE NET.

ANYONE CAN SURF, AND WHILE THIS IS ITSELF IS NOT A BAD THING, WE ARE SIMPLY SO NEW AT IT THAT WE DO NOT QUITE KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE POSSIBILITIES. FOR THOSE WHO MANAGED TO SAIL OVER THE HURDLES AND FIND THEMSELVES IN THE CHAT WILL BE GREETED BY STRANGE SCENE. THEIR FIRST SURPRISE MAYBE THEY WILL BE IGNORED. PERHAPS THIS IS THE FIRST SIGN THAT WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS NOT A COMMUNITY IN A TRUE SENSE OF THE WORD. PERHAPS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT CHARACTERISTICS OF THE INTERNET IS...TO KEEP PEOPLE WAITING.

I'M TALKING ABOUT SITUATIONS WHERE TO PEOPLE BEGAN ''TALKING'' EITHER IN CHAT OR IN THEIR PRIVATE MESSAGES AND SUDDENLY ONE SLOWS DOWN OR ALTOGETHER DISAPPEARS. SOME WHO MERELY DISAPPEAR (PERHAPS FOREVER JUST LIKE WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO MY FRIENDS DAUGHTHER WHO HAPPENS TO MEET AN ONLINE FRIEND FROM LONDON),

CHOOSING TO COMMUNICATE IN SOMEWHAT BARBARIC FASHION THAT THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY. STILL ANOTHER CASE MAYBE WHERE AN INDIVIDUAL IS CARRYING ON CONVERSATION IN SEVERAL ''WINDOWS'' WITH AS MANY INDIVIDUALS HE/SHE CAN GET. ONE CAN JUST IMAGINE THE DEPTH OF SUCH CONVERSATION AS WE ARE, AFTER ALL, HUMAN AND NOT MULTI-CHANNEL MACHINES. ONE REASON IS THAT PEOPLE HAVE VERY FERTILE IMAGINATIONS AND THEY TEND TO CREATE A COMPLETE PICTURE OF THE OTHER PERSON GIVEN THEIR WRITTEN WORD.

SOMETIMES REALITY IS NOT QUITE AS COLORFUL. ANOTHER MAYBE THAT THE MEDIUM TENDS TO MAKE FOR OVERSTATEMENTS. PEOPLE SAY THINGS, THE OTHER RESPONDS AT AN ACCELERATED LEVEL AND NOT WANTING TO BE LEFT BEHIND. WHAT ''I LOVE YOU''MEANS IS PRECIOUS, BUT WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO SOMEONE IS LITTLE. I AM NOT SUGGESTING THAT PEOPLE SET OUT TO FOOL EACH OTHER, IF, WE FOOL OURSELVES BECAUSE WE WANT SO MUCH FOR SOMEONE TO CARE ABOUT US, TO LOVE US THAT WE ARE QUITE WILLING TO BELIEVE OR INTERPRET WHAT IS SAID TO SUIT THE NEED. THE THIRD REASON IS THE VOLUME, IF THERE ARE SO MANY, HOW DO WE KNOW IF WE GOT THE BEST PERSON WE COULD HAVE? THEN WE TRY ANOTHER..THEN ANOTHER ..THEN ANOTHER? HUMANITY BY NATURE TENDS TOWARD POLYGAMY AND THAT IS DOUBLY TRUE. NATURALLY, IT IS TOUGH TO BE THE ONE WHO IS LEFT FOR ANOTHER- ESPECIALLY IF THEY HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR A PARTNER FOR A LONG TIME AND THAT IS NOT JUST IN THE NET ONLY.

NOW THE ULTIMATE QUESTION WILL BE...CAN AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP BE EVENTUALLY WORK OUT? ACTUALLY, PEOPLE WHO MEET ON THE INTERNET MAY VERY WELL DEVELOP A LONG LASTING "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP. IN THESE CASE, IT IS HELPFUL TO THINK OF THE INTERNET AS TOOL SUCH AS DATING SERVICES OR NETWORK OF FRIENDS. IF THE RELATIONSHIP DOES WORK OUT, IT IS BECAUSE THE "IN PERSON" RELATIONSHIP WORK OUT. ONCE YOU MEET, I WOULDN'T CONSIDER IT AN INTERNET RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE ITS MUCH SO MORE THAN I COULD IMAGINE.

THE INTERNET ALLOWS YOU TO MEET A LOT OF PEOPLE, TO WEED OUT PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT COMPATIBLE. BUT IT HAS LIMITS AND YOU CAN TAKE THE NEXT STEPS BY MEETING IN PERSON. AND WHAT IF YOU MEET THE PERSON? AND WHAT IF YOU DIDN'T MEET THE STANDARDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR AND THE SAME WITH YOUR LOVER TOO? AND WHAT CAN YOU DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF WHEN YOU FIRST MEET HIM IN PERSON? AND WHAT IF YOUR LOVER COMES FROM A THOUSAND MILES AND YOU GET DISGUSTED OF HIM? OH! COME ON...IT IS NOT JUST A MATTER OF TIME, THE EFFORT ITS THE MONEY THAT HAS BEEN WASTED TOO AND THATS A LOT OF SHUCKS!

SO BEFORE YOU JUMPED OUT, TAKE THE PLUNGED OR GO FOR IT...THINK ON HOW DOES INTERNET AFFAIRS VARY FROM REAL LIFE ROMANCE. PERHAPS SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCE IS...COMMUNICATION. COMMUNICATION PLAYS SUCH A MAJOR ROLE. WORDS THAT CONVEY FEELINGS HAVE MAJOR EFFECT. VERY ENORMOUS I MAY SAY SO. ON THE INTERNET WE POLISH OUR INTELLECT, OUR IMAGINATION AND PERSONALITY AS WELL.

BUILD TRUST, CONFIDENCE AND HONESTY FIRST BEFORE YOU MEET THE PERSON.TAKE TIME WITH YOUR LOVER ONLINE.BE SURE YOU GET ALL THE NECESSARY INFORMATION BEFORE JUMPING IN THE RELATIONSHIP. IN THIS WAY YOU WONT HAVE A LOT OF DISGUSTMENT AND DISAPPOINTMENTS AFTER AND I TELL YOU THERE WILL BE A WOW EFFECT WHEN YOU HAVE THIS THREE I HAVE MENTIONED..

MOST OF THE PROBLEMS ASSOCIATED WITH THE INTERNET RELATIONSHIP OCCUR BECAUSE THEY REMAIN ONLY AN INTERNET AFFAIR AND BECAUSE THEY BUILD ONLY FANTASY AND LETTING IT TAKE OVER OR BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH A FICTION AND NOT REALITY.

AND WHEN YOU MEET AND IF YOU MEET THE PERSON? ARE YOU SURE OF YOURSELF THAT THERE WILL STILL BE A MAGIC ON THE AIR? ARE YOU WILLING TO TAKE THE RISK? ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO DANCE WITH FIRE? WELL, IF YOU WILL HEAR SWEET MUSIC WHEN YOU MEET YOUR LOVER ONLINE FACE TO FACE...OK..THEN GO FOR IT!ITS YOU AND ITS YOUR DECISION.

AND WHAT IF YOU ARE DISSATISFIED? OH NO! THE WORST THAT COULD HAPPEN. ARE YOU BRAVE ENOUGH TO FACE THINGS AGAIN? CAN YOU HOLD BACK THE TEARS? OR CAN YOU RETURN BACK TO YOUR NORMAL SELF? SO..THINK...

THE DEBATE NOW IS...IS IT THAT LOVE CAN DEVELOP FROM INTELLECTUAL LEVEL ONLY? WITHOUT PHYSICAL ATTRACTIONS WITHOUT THE FAMILIARITY OF OTHERS APPEARANCE? THERE ARE THOSE OF COURSE WHO FAVORS INTERNET AFFAIR RELATIONSHIP CLAIMING THAT THE INTENSITY OF THE EMOTIONAL RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPS IN SUCH A WAY. AND THAT ARE THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SUCH A GREAT AND AMAZING LOVE STORY THAT STARTED ON THE NET.

WHATEVER THE OPINION IS, SEE TO IT THAT THE PERSON WHOM YOU ARE TALKING TO IS SINCERE ENOUGH TO FULFILL HIS PROMISES, HONEST ENOUGH IN DELIVERING HIS MESSAGE ONLINE AND GREAT ENOUGH TO BE WORTH GIVING YOUR FULL ATTENTION AND LOVE.

SO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM POSSIBLE TRAPS. IT WOULD BE USEFUL TO WEIGH THINGS FOR YOURSELF BEFORE YOU COMMIT. THERE ARE GOOD ADVICES AND YOU CAN FIND IT ON THE NET. ON HOW AND HOW NOT TO MEET YOUR LOVER ONLINE, AND WHEN TO GIVE FLIRTS OR WHEN NOT TO FLIRT. FROM THIS ALONG, YOU CAN HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN THINGS AND YOU WILL HAVE BETTER CHANCES IN RECOGNIZING CHARACTERS THAT WILL LURK YOU IN FINDING A MATE TRU INERNET. AND YOU ALONE...CAN JUDGE IT FOR YOURSELF.

SO DONT PREY ON THE NET. DONT USE THE NET AS A TOOL TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF SOMEONE, EXTRACTING FALSE INFORMATIONS, BECOMES ADDICTS ON THE NET, LOSING SENSES, HOPPING FROM CHATROOM TO CHATROOM, LOOKING FOR AND EYEING FOR ANOTHER VICTIM OR USING THE NET FOR SEX TRADE. BEWARE OF EASY LOVERS TOO IT WILL DRIVE YOU CRAZY, DONT USE THE NET TO PLAY DANGEROUS GAMES FOR WITH THE OTHER PERSON, DO NOT PLAY WITH THEIR EMOTIONS, DONT GIVE FALSE HOPE AND PROMISES ONCE COMMUNICATION OPENS,TRY TO BECOME A FRIEND FIRST IT WILL HELP, BUILD TRUST AND HONESTY, BE FAITHFUL ENOUGH WHEN THE LOVE STARTS TO LIT.

DESPITE ALL WHAT I HAVE SAID...THERE ARE LOT OF PEOPLE WHO CHOOSE INERNET AS A TOOL IN FINDING A MATE. AND THAT I WOULD NOT ARGUE ANYMORE. THERE ARE LOTS OF SITES WHERE YOU CAN FIND ONE. THERE ARE LOT OF CHOICES YOU CAN CHOOSE BUT BE CAUTIOUS ENOUGH THAT YOU DONT END UP CRYING AND IN THE LOSING END OR WORST IS LOSING YOUR SENSES. KEEP YOUR EYES OPEN!


FINDING A PARTNER ON THE NET? YES IT SOUND GREAT ESPECIALLY SINCE YOU CAN WRAP YOURSELF IN ANONYMITY. FOR A WHILE ANYWAY, AT LEAST UNTIL THE FIRST ACTUAL MEETING, WHICH CAN BE REALLY A DISILLUSIONING EXPERIENCE. JUST WHEN EVERYTHING COMES TOGETHER, THE WRITING STYLE, PROPER USE OF GRAMMAR, THEN THE VOICE ON THE TELEPHONE, THE THOUGHTFULNESS. YOU ACTUALLY BELEIEVE THAT REALITY WILL BE THIS GREAT. AND YUCKS IF HE/SHE NOT YOUR TYPE? YOU WISH THAT YOU COULD DISAPPEAR.

MANY PEOPLE COME AND GO IN PERSONS LIFE, BUT THERE WILL BE THAT SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE THE DIFFERENCE. THE STORY YOU JUST READ IS TRUE. ONLINE RELATIONSHIP CAN WORK SOME JUST DONT HAVE A HAPPY ENDINGS. MY LOVE STORY IS ONE OF A HAPPY ENDING. WE HAD THIS WHOLE WONDERFUL LIFE PLANNED OUT. THE MORAL OF MY STORY IS..ITS NOT A SHADY PLACE TO FIND A MATE THROUGH INTERNET. I CAN PERSONALLY BEAR THAT FACT THAT I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE. BUT FOR THOSE WHO ARE STILL BROWSING TO FIND A MATE ALWAYS BE CAUTIOUS, BE ALERT ABOUT WHOM YOU ARE TALKING TO, MAKE A DATE WHY NOT? AGREE..YES, BUT PUT A LITTLE COMMON SENSE AND INTUITION AND BE WISE. MAYBE...WITHOUT DOUBT...IF... INTERNET IS A GREATEST RESOURCE A SINGLE COULD HAVE GOT TO KNOW.

hope ypu got an idea now...share this to your friend.

Answer 2

Yes it is possible to fall in love online ,but I think it depends on how each person is feeling once u start dating, a fair number of pple have had successful online relationships some are married and but for some it just doesn't work out. It is important though to make sure u try to find out as much as u can about the other person b4 u meet, some people have not been lucky and have met online- psychos. So you have to be careful

Answer 3

You can fall for somebody on line. It is much easier to talk to somebody on line than face to face, so in that sense, its easier to show your true self. On the other hand, there are a bunch of liars out there so you have to be careful. Its just like meeting somebody in a bar. You talk to them and decide to date them, but how do you know if they are telling you the truth or not. You dont.

So what I am saying is that, it is fine to date online. You just have to be really careful. Dont be stupid and meet a new person alone, and make sure that there is no discrepancy's in things that this person has told you about them self.

I am actually in a serious relationship with somebody I met on line. So it can work, if you weed out the crazies lol.

Answer 4

I ended up marrying my online relationship. However, we'd been online friends for a couple of years before we decided to try being in love with each other. And I still didn't really take it seriously until after I'd met him in person for the first time. (BTW, if anyone here tries that, please do what I did and make sure you have enough money or enough room on a credit card to get yourself back home at a moment's notice. You cannot be too paranoid about this!)

I worry about teenagers who claim to be in online relationships, because the time they spend in front of the computer with their "cyber-bf/gf" is time they aren't spending with real-life friends, and one of the crucial things about childhood and teenhood is learning to play well with others in your space. So even online chatting with real-life friends is better IMO!

Answer 5

Well if she's talking to him and she believes he's for real and stuff. She should make sure though. You know, really check into it if they're getting serious. Hmmm 16 you say? And 20? Hmmm iono but it can work if they are serious and work at it

Answer 6

I don't think it's realistic. How can you carry on a relationship with someone you don't know? I mean, the pics may be of someone else. The info may be all made up. Come on...my real name isn't even Alice!

Answer 7

The person she is dating could just be making up everything he tells her. He could be a bum for all she knows. U want to be able to see the person and hang out w/ the person u are dating.

Answer 8

It's all about how much u trust each otha and how honest or open u r wit each otha.If u cant trust or b honest with the otha part then u in deep shii.Look sumwer else.It aint worth the hustle

Answer 9

Stay far from it. Too many 'predators' online posing as good ppl to meet, lonely ppl looking for friendship, etc.

Answer 10

I think its a bad idea I mean come on when are you going to meet in person your wedding day?

Answer 11

it's will remain as great start only. u need to take the next step of meeting in person.