i think 4 kids and is living with a girl who is pregnant with maybe his child..and he doesnt have a steady job..and can barely take care of himself and buys weed with spare money. and shes told me that hes not in a good mood unless hes on weed...and has to borrow money from her and borrow her car because he doesnt have one.. and very rarly gives her money for gas or anythin..how can i get her to understand that runnin away with him isnt the best thing with out gettin her mad at me cuz she says she loves him but he got onto her when she said it to him..and told her that she didnt need to be saying it. .and just to make myself clear i just said that she was white and he's black im not sayin that that it is or isnt right for them to be together for that reason..i just dont think hes good enough for her for obvious reasons i mean he wants to send the kids away cuz he cant take care of them anymore..she deserves better and i want her to see that..but any advice would be nice...
2006-09-14 03:26:45 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
omg people i simply said black and white to give detail i do not in the least bit care if the dude is black white or freakin blue..and dont pass judgment on me sayin that when didnt even read everythin..and i have many black friends and they would tell u u were crazy to say im racist..i simply just added that detail if you have a prob with it then screw u..i just care deeply for my friend and wanted suggestions..and ur right age doesnt matter either i like older guys as well but not when they dont have anythin to show for theyre lives except babies they cant take care of!!
2006-09-14 03:42:25 · update #1
You've had your say and she isn't listening, so butt out! Let her wake up from this nightmare on her own.
2006-09-14 03:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by DialM4Speed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO SERIOUSLY HELP HER!!! One thing i have learned form women who are abused, whether it be physically or emotionally is that they need to come out of their abuse after the "light" has come on in their head. You need to ask your friend what does this man do for her, telly our friend to name all the things they have done together, all the family members he has introduced her to, all the children of his and their mothers he had introduced her to, all the places they have gone, all the positive conversations they have had, all the goals he has set for himself and how he plans on reaching them, all th reasons why she is in "love" with him, how he makes her feel when they are in public, how he makes her feel when they are in private. I can name so many others but this will suffice, if she has nothing valid to say about any of those things or makes ANY EXCUSES point that out. You may even have her write the answers down so she can see them staring her in the face. I hope you can help her, but also if she STILL refuses to believe that he is no good for her, ask her to think about her future and what she wants, if she wants anything at all in life, she will realize that he cannot be apart of it. ANd so what he is black, white dudes do the same S**t look at Kevin Federline! Good Luck
2006-09-14 03:37:04 · answer #2 · answered by ymeany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her that you love her. she's not going to listen to you.tell her that you'll be there for her . because chances are she's going to run. she's not looking at him as a person, because he isn't much of anything,is he? you could try showing her this but she's not listening even to her own instincts..he,s a complete user @ LOSER.no job, nocar, 3 kids 1 on way ,@ a girlfriend at home. Your friend is asking for SERIOUS probs. in her life.He's 28 with nothing. living off of 2 women run the other way quick.
2006-09-14 03:36:45 · answer #3 · answered by bama g 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think no matter what type of person he was you would have a problem cause he's black since you mentioned it more than once. Most black men get white women cause they can use them in the manner he's using her. She allows it to happen so he's gonna do it.
2006-09-14 03:32:16 · answer #4 · answered by caramel_sundae1077 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her make her mistakes. Unfortunately, life teaches better lessons than friends. She has made it clear that she Luuuuuvs him. Definitely sounds like luv to me. How can you argue with love or the illusion? You can't so let her go. You will feel better once you do.
2006-09-14 03:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by who R U 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I didn't even read all of your question because it is far too informative. I was stopped in my tracks when I saw that you felt the need to mention the races of these two people. What does color have to do with their situation? Are you saying that it is because he is black that you have a problem with them being together? WTF?! Chill out. The girl is 19. Let her make her own decisions. Even if you know it's a mistake, she needs to decide that for herself. Maybe it's different for him with her. Maybe he really loves her. I think you should be asking how to support her, rather than trash her man.
2006-09-14 03:31:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
if she already knows all of this and is still with him there's not a thing you can say to change her mind. she's just going to have to learn the lesson that he wasn't a good guy by herself
2006-09-14 03:30:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you shouldn't get involved with her friend and her boyfriend though you care about her I know it's hard to see your friend go through this . I think you should just let your friend laern for herself hopefully she willl seee things in a diffferent way and maybe she willl leave her boyfriend .
2006-09-14 03:37:20 · answer #8 · answered by rayray17 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her you know this 30 something year old white guy that wants to bang her.
2006-09-14 03:30:09 · answer #9 · answered by VeeateU 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
YOu tried to justify your self by explaining y u said white or black.. it really doesn't matter what color they are u know what ..........you are racist . the best thing i can tell u is not to be friends with her its better for her own interest
2006-09-14 03:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by africacarey 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋