I separated from my son's father, now......?

Question

Hi,
My partner and I ended our relationship. we have a son that's 1 yr. I am trying to set up a schedule so we all know what days he's going to be staying with his father and what days he's going to be spending with me. His father adores our son and everything, but he's reluctant to set up a schedule. he says he prefers to just pick him up whenever he can, and he'll let me know a day in advance. i think is ridiculous. he is taking care of his milk and diapers and his necessecities. but this is the only thing we can' tagree on!! what should i do?

Answer 1

i would simply tell him that you can't live that way. you need a schedule at least to guide the visits.
explain to him that a schedule will make it easier for you to plan you're life. it's easy for him, b/c the schedule is revolving around him right now and leaving you in limbo.

ask him to sit down with you make a schedule and if some days ahve to be traded here and there, that's o.k., but a schedule will help each of you plan your lives a little better.

for example:
he gets him every other saturday, but let's say it's his saturday and he has plans, then he calls you on thursday and says, can we swtich my saturday with another day??
then, you either say "yeah, no problem", or "i made plans, i'm sorry."

it's only fair and in time you will both have to deal with canceling plans and swtiching days, so it will get a little tricky at times, but if you both keep a positive atttitude about it, it can work.

good luck and take care.

if he refuses, then get your lawyer involved to have a court schedule the visits.

Answer 2

Schedules are very hard to live with. If something comes up you are both bound to it. Take the whenever he can schedule but let him know that if there is something special going on that day you will have first priority since you can't schedule your life around when he may or may not call. Also, whoever has your son the most nights out of the week on a regular basis is who would most likely get custody. Just for future reference in case things change always keep a calendar of when he calls and when your son is with him. Good Luck.

Answer 3

particular. the father is separate from the Son. (John 17:3; John 14:28; 1Crorinthians 8:6) Firstborn ability precisely what it says -- first to be born. particular this ability that Jesus had a start to his life. It ability he became the 1st creature to be extra into life -- the 1st created. (Revelation 3:14) concerning John 3:sixteen: That scripture does not explicitly say that the father gave his in hassle-free terms begotten son (even nevertheless this end is easy interior the context of alternative scriptures like 1Corinthians 8:6 and John 17:3). Trinitarians are careful to make technical differences between God and the father -- while it suits their fancy -- and equivocating the two -- while it suits their fancy. Trinitarians declare to have faith that the son and the father are actually not the comparable yet different and separate persons who, which incorporate holy spirit, contain one God. they might to that end declare that the question: "How does the father provide his son, in case you assert he's the comparable?" is a strawman that doesn't replicate their ideals.

Answer 4

You should get him on s schedule now, the sooner the better, knowing is much easier than not knowing, your lives will flow much better, it will fall into place, ask the Dad to just give it a try and that if there are other days he would like the child just call in advance so you can prepare, this is not unreasonable and is in the best interest of the child, children need a routine to keep them feeling secure and loved.

Answer 5

I assume you are settling the matter out of court. Since you are, and he has agreed to see him and is paying for his expenses, relax. Sometimes schedules are hard to keep and this way it should be a little easier on the both of you. Go with the flow for now. However, if he starts to become reluctant on actually seeing him or not coming when he says he will, then definitely take it to a higher up.

Answer 6

It is best to set up a schedule especially at his age. My son is 16 months and his father and I are not together. His father sees him 3 evenings a week, and 6 hrs Sat and Sun every other weekend.

Otherwise, I would recommend mediation. It is much cheaper than court!!

Answer 7

1. My daughter, and their friends, who are in their 20's to mid 30's and have children, and the fathers are remote now, are lucky to get $35 a MONTH in support!

Be happy daddy is trying to stay involved, that is the meal ticket to proper mutual support for your son.

2. Try to cooperate a bit, because if it gets too tough for daddy, the typical result is that they go remote, and you will have to pursue across the country, or the world, to get a thin dime, plus, the kid suffers with out his real daddy!

3. Whatever you guys broke up over, is far smaller a problem, typically (I do a lot of divorce court work), than the "trouble" it takes to just fix it, and get on with the stable relationship!

Everyone whom we encounter who got divorced, has a year or two later, realized what a good thing they had, if they would have just worked out the little kinks!

Yes, the regrets run deep! Discounting the few "Axe Murderers" out there, most relationships could succeed, but, need to continue to grow. It is when they go a bit stale, that someone gets bored, indifferent, and then, the kids are the ones who all suffer the most stress!

Anyway, bless you and daddy, for both trying to work things out. please have an attitude of grattitude that he even cares enough to try to be supportive!

Answer 8

For the child and you, it is important that you develop a schedule. You will regret it if you don't. You need your privacy, and your child needs a routine. He needs to know when he can expect to see Daddy. If Dad sees him frequently now, whenever he likes, and cuts down later as he takes on other "interests", this can be worrying for your son. If you develop a schedule now, that routine will stay and be in place. Good luck to you!

Answer 9

He is making a effort...but you really need to set up a schedule...its only fair to you. Because if he is letting you know a day or so in advance you could have already made plans, and he wil say that you are being unreasonable and not letting him see his child

Answer 10

im so sorry this is going to be hard on your son, i dont think setting up a schedule is unreasonable but maybe if his job doesnt have a set schedule and thats why hes reluctant. if this is the case maybe set up a schedule but be flexible about it. good luck