I have a problem with having a orgasm with a guy, I have a past with physical and sexual abuse and my friends tell me this is the reason why I can't let myself orgasm. Just wondering if anyone has had this "problem" and is there any way that I can learn to do it. (I'm not saying I never have orgasm, just whenever I have been with a guy I have yet to do so, even if I try to do it myself..it's next to imposible.) Sorry for the weird perverted question but it's been bugging the hell out of me.
2006-09-14 02:37:46 · 23 answers · asked by Jessye 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have a problem with having a orgasm with a guy, I have a past with physical and sexual abuse and my friends tell me this is the reason why I can't let myself orgasm. Just wondering if anyone has had this "problem" and is there any way that I can learn to do it. (I'm not saying I never have orgasm, just whenever I have been with a guy I have yet to do so, even if I try to do it myself..it's next to imposible.) Sorry for the weird perverted question but it's been bugging the hell out of me.
Just to add to this I have tried oral and different positions..it feels amazing and all like I'm on the edge the whole time but with no release. He is really good, and I have been with him for a year now. He was my first I was a virgin for a long time because of what happened to me but I trust him 110%!
2006-09-14 02:52:56 · update #1
I know someone who has the same problem. If the problem isn't physical (like something is "damaged" down there), then go to counseling. Also, I think alot of women have problems having an orgasm. Especially during intercourse. Although, the woman on top position makes it possible. Anyway, the inability to achieve an orgasm can be due to positioning, rythym, setting, having an inexperienced partner, a partner that's not in tune with how to please a woman, etc. Oral sex is a good way to help you achieve an orgasm. But, you must not have your mind elsewhere. Don't make having an orgasm your goal. Quit thinking about it....Sure, it's great...but being with a loving, caring partner is even better.
2006-09-14 02:49:41 · answer #1 · answered by cheerstoyou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's not perverted, cuz you asked it in a respectful way. Just watch out Im sure 90% of the answers will be. Your friends are probably right and you probably subconsously associate sex with unpleasant feelings. Step 1- make sure you are with someone you care about that you can let yourself go with (at least at fist ;-)) step 2- oral sex or a vibrator are going to be your best bet at first step 3- once you have your sexual confidence up, jump on top. You may feel stupid at first but the friction is better for your orgasm than any other position. But oral is prob the best because the pressure is right and its REALLY hard to hold back on an orgasm that way. Good luck!!
2006-09-14 09:42:11 · answer #2 · answered by Slutlana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not completely comfortable with these guys. When you feel safe and relaxed and happy with who you are with, everything works out and you can orgasm. I never thought I'd have a good sexual relationship with a guy after my ex beat me. I couldn't trust anyone that much. But after I met my boyfriend and after a long time I came to trust him completely, with my heart and life. Now I have no problem orgasming. In fact it's not hard at all. I hope this helps!
2006-09-14 09:45:21 · answer #3 · answered by AshTray420 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not a weird or perverted question. It is a serious one. What I did was go to counseling. It works if you really want it to. I have no problems now. But I must say, it's not going to be an overnight cure. Good luck to you!
2006-09-14 09:42:59 · answer #4 · answered by ♪♫♪justpassingby♪♫♪ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just stop thinking about it and try and think about having lots of fun with it go to the doc and ask some question about it i have not had a orgasm with a guy also but that doesn't stop me from enjoying myself
2006-09-14 09:45:41 · answer #5 · answered by ♥*♥Bahamian Gal♥*♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First at all,it is not a pervert question.you can see your family doctor (woman),and can explain.Maybe something is wrong and the doctor for sure will help you.Also when you have sex,you can work together with your partner and try to do different positions to reach your G spot.Good luck.
2006-09-14 09:46:11 · answer #6 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek professional help, maybe even hypnotism to help you to truly get over this!
Sex w/o orgasm is like eating w/o tasting, just not worth it!!
Until this is dealt with fully and released, you'll never enjoy TRUE release.
2006-09-14 09:41:43 · answer #7 · answered by jelli_bean_36 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try being celebrant for about 6mo- 1yr and see a doctor because depression will make your sex drive real low. I know it happened to me. It was hard but my doctor put me on medicine and i was celebrant for 8mo and it worked. So talk to your Dr. and when u are ready not the other person but u go for it and u will be truly satisfied.
2006-09-14 09:47:01 · answer #8 · answered by nikkisativa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not perverted at all a very honest question ,sometimes it is physiological and u just have not found your comfort zone yet when having sex. Relax it will happen if it bothers u that much see you doctor.
2006-09-14 09:41:25 · answer #9 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aside from possible medical issues, you may simply be less receptive to vaginal stimulation; many women can only orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation, so try that and see if it works.
Therapy definitely could help, also.
2006-09-14 09:40:56 · answer #10 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋