Was I right to be angry?

Question

My boyfriend of 7 1/2 yrs and I got into this huge stupid argument last nite and I was so angry but he turned everything around and said that it was all my fault. He went out to the local watering hole with his buddies--He asked me to pick him up at 9 so I said okay--I fell asleep and my sister wakes me at 9 asking if I was still supposed to pick him up. I said I was and since I was so groggy she offered to go get him for me. I said okay. Well obviously it was a problem--he wouldn't come home with her and wouldn't answer his cell. I went to pick him up and we started in on the way home. He brought up all sorts of things that didn't even pertain to the reason why we were mad at each other. I said some ugly stuff because he always does this to me when he mixed his liquor. He threatened to throw me out which my reply to that was go ahead he would never make it without my money. Was it okay for me to be mad that he didn't come home with my sister? Or is he right in being mad at me

Answer 1

I don't think you shouldn have gotten so upset at the time only because if he was drunk, you're going to have to have the whole conversation again. But, he had no right to freak out like that. He may PREFER to come home with you, but if she offered and you were asleep and she drove all the way there to get him, then he should be grateful you don't kick HIS drunk *** out. And don't support him, sweetie. Make sure to look out for yourself. You've been together 7 1/2 years and arent engaged/married yet? I smell a little boy in a man's body- don't let him get away with crap like this.

Answer 2

He was probably very upset about the row and you picking him up would have meant you were doing a nice thing for him when you had a row. To him that would have been a kinda of admission that you were wrong and his ego would have been ok! You refusing to do that and getting mad at him had the reverse effect and crushed him - that made him get angry with you. The more important question is why didn't you go to the pub together and get a cab back together? Is this the 1950s?

Answer 3

Sounds like you guys need to talk (without booze), that is if you want to continue your 7 1/2 years of commitment. If he is bringing up stuff from the past, it sounds like there have been things he has wanted to say but didn't. You have every right to be angry and maybe he does too? Sometimes a bump in the relationship, like this, is a good thing... once it is worked out. However, if this happens 'All the time', maybe you should reconsider. Sorry I can't give you a definitive answer but there are so many variables in a relationship. Best of luck to you...

Answer 4

You were right to send your sister to pick him up if you were to groggy from sleep to be out driving.. it is the same is if you were drinking.. you made the right decision and a ride is a ride.. who cares who was driving.. he was apparently to drunk to know anyway.. I wouldn't have went and got him then he would have had a reason to be pissed if he had to walk..or pay a cab.. what would it have hurt to have one of his friends to bring him home..
as for his ugly mouth.. you don't need this kind of grief. and it won't get any better. glad tohear you just calling him a boy friend.. don't marry the fool. it will only get worse.. he should be happy you weren't mad about him being with his buddys. not that it matters. You need to get out of this relationship and find some one that isn't a drunk.. or get him into counciling..

Answer 5

It sounds like you both are upset for two totally different reasons. The way I see it he didn't go with your sister cause he asked you to pick him up and not your sister, so to him you were just doing something else to get under his skin. Try asking him what the REAL problem is and then just listen to him, don't say one word. Just let him vent and rant and throw a fit or whatever. If you just listen long enough you'll get the honest reason behind him doing things like this. If you love him, then you have to just let his ways be his ways. You can always forgive but you can't replace.

Answer 6

I could have seen him getting mad if you just left him there. But you did not.

He should have came home with your sister, and if he did not like it he should have just said that next time I prefer if you would come get me.

Calling eachother names, and being mean to eachother is not going to help at all. It will only make things worse. You either have to learn to communicate better, or since you have been together a long time, maybe it is time to give eachother a little space to think about the relationship.
Good luck.

Answer 7

Boyfriend is a jerk, Get out while you can. Leave him two pennies on the coffee table and go. Even if you have to go home to your family for a while.

7.5 years is a long time, but anyone that is that rude to you, is ridiculous. You provided him a way home. Wah..... he cries. What a wuss. He wanted you to pick him up. Wah, Wah, Wah.....

If you are making money, you should be able to save enough to get back out on your own.

Find a new life. Even if this is only a break for you both, you need it to find out if you even want to stay connected to this wuss.

I can't stand a man treating women badly, and put up with it once, promise it will never happen again. Who want's to be ignored, and taken for granted.

Answer 8

OK quite u should be glad he didn't come home with your sister. Blood is blood. but she is also a woman. wake up girl. lets turn the table, would u think he would like it if he was supposed to pick u up and he got one of his friends to pick u up???????? when the smoke clears u guys need to sit down and talk it out. and ask him point blank how come he was mad. no yelling or fussing just talk it out. find out what his feelings were and tell him your feelings, and work it out. but some things u just don't do. that's like handing your man over to your sister. what if something jumped off between the 2 of them???? think about good luck

Answer 9

what was he mad about. A ride is a ride. When you are drinking it makes you think some funny things, but this is just down wight silly. Who cares who is driving the car as long as someone showed up to pick him up. He should be happy that you cared enough to send someone who wasn't about to fall asleep behind the wheel. I think HE needs to send an apology to you. He needs to realize he had been drinking and probably was a real arrogant A$$.

Answer 10

if u were groggy then hell a ride is a ride no matter who it comes from.. aint' like he doesn't know ur sister.. she was nice enough to go pick him up and he refused to leave w/her.. i wouldn't have even went back out to get him.. i would've left his drunk behind there and let him find his own way home..

u and him need to have a sit down and get everything off ur chest when he's sober cause it's obvious that he has alot of beef towards u..

and if it doesn't work then u need to move on.. like u said he always does this especially when he's been drinking.. that's a form of abuse and no one deserves that...