We are good friends, he calls me from time to time and we are very comfortable around eachother. But I am in love with him and have been for awhile now. It's killing me inside and it's to the point where I just want to get it out and if he doesn't feel the same, then I can just stop being friends with him and I can move on. I can't forget about him when he's in my life. I drive myself crazy over when and if he's going to call and so forth. What do I do? Get it out and tell him why I can't be friends with him anymore, or just stop answering his calls and "disappear"? I don't think he looks at me as a gf, it's hard to tell with him.
2006-09-14 02:32:19 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
By all means, tell him. The important thing is to get comfortable with the idea of telling him so that you don't risk seeming over-eager. That puts me off when a woman (on the rare occasion) show's an interest in me. Just take it easy, and you cannot control the outcome.
2006-09-14 02:34:04 · answer #1 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't just cut him out of your life. You may never know how he feels.
Some of the best relationships come from two friends realizing that they want to be more than "just friends". Have you thought that maybe he's going through the same thing?
I would sugest inviting him over for pizza and a movie. Make sure it has nothing to do with two friends falling in love or two friends falling out of love. During the movie sit next to him. Then while the credits are rolling turn to him and say:
"________, I like you. Not only as a friend but as someone I would like to pursue a romantic relationship with. I was wondering if you do or could feel the same about me?"
You know use your own words.
Make sure that you don't tell him you don't even hint that you would end the friendship if he didn't say yes. That would put too much preasure on him or just piss him off.
If he says no. Don't end the friendship immediately. Wait and see if it's akward. If it is to you it might be to him as well and he might reconsider the idea.
These are all possibilities and if there is any way possible I would try to salvage the friendship after the answer comes out. There is no reason why you can't stay friends afterwards. It might be a little hard at first but maybe you can talk to him about that and he can help you over the hump so y'all can get back to being really good friends.
2006-09-14 02:46:37 · answer #2 · answered by tabberlynn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always try to avoid regret. Sometimes it's better to have loved and lost rather than to torment yourself on what could have been.
If you don't say anything, you're always going to wonder. Plus, if you already take a defeatist attitude, then it will most likely come true and you'll have lost before you've even begun.
You should go ahead and just tell him. That's what love is all about where you take risks. It wouldn't be much of a love interest if he didn't mean that much.
On top of that, it's really healthier for you in the long run so that you can get that off your chest and where it won't fester with you. It's unhealthy to keep emotions like that continue to build up.
2006-09-14 02:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by Link of Hyrule 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel, if it is driving you crazy to the point where you can't stand to be around him as "just friends" then you owe it to both him and yourself to let your feelings out, you never know, things may work out great, maybe you could be a couple, and if he doesn't feel the same way towards you, then at least he will know why you are blowing him off and not have to sit around and wonder what he did wrong.
2006-09-14 02:42:12 · answer #4 · answered by Ms. FairyLove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok well with the answer you gave me... i must comment here. I get mad respect for being myself, and real. You on the other hand cant even be real with your best friend. Tell the man how you feel. Youll either be accepted or rejected. And either way it goes, your life will continue to go on. If you really care about him, why would you want to shut him out of your life? Thats the stupidest thing i have ever heard. I hate females that act fake. You all give the real ones bad names. Good luck, and if he rejects you, dont be mad. At least he can keep it real
2006-09-14 05:02:53 · answer #5 · answered by misskaykai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i would just come out and tell him. If he doesn't feel the same, then oh well. You won't have to live the rest of your life thinking "what if". But you never know, he may feel the same way you do and just afraid to show it. Just think about it before you do it, and make sure that you are ready to lose a friendship if he doesn't return the feelings. Good Luck Hon!
2006-09-14 02:36:44 · answer #6 · answered by Brown_Eyed_Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy this sounds familiar. I know exactly what you are going through. I finally said forget it, it hurts to much to just be his friend because I love him. I was scared to death because I didnt want him to hate me and I didnt want him to not be my friend. I wanted more than a friendship. I called him and kind of hinted about us being girlfriend boyfriend. I think I said if the world was destroyed and we were the only two that survived then man kind was doomed. He asked me why I would say that and I was like we were just friends. Then he shocked me, he said that it didnt have to be total world destruction for us to be together. We hinted and played and I finally understood that he was going equally crazy. We were married by the way. I say take a chance, you are only going to drive yourself crazy if you dont. If he is your friend, he already has some feelings for you.
2006-09-14 02:41:23 · answer #7 · answered by angelsforanimals 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am currently married to my best friend and have been for 10 years. It won't hurt to tell him. The worst he could do is not speak to you again. Besides, you never know, he could feel the same way. Start slow and see how it goes. Say something like could you see us as more that friends or you could just catch him off guard and lay a big kiss on him. :) You could also say we need to talk, there's something I've been wanting to tell you. If you don't tell him you will wonder what would've happened. Just Go For It!!
2006-09-14 02:45:47 · answer #8 · answered by country girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't tell him, then you will never know. If you just stop being his friend, then he will wonder what he did or what happened. There should be no reason why you can't still be friends if he doesn't want to date. Just know, there is someone out there the will love you just as much as you think you love this fellow.
2006-09-14 02:34:55 · answer #9 · answered by JUNONNKI 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him know how you feel. Ask him if he could ever see a friend as more than a friend. Maybe he feels the same way. It's tough to cross that line from friend to couple. I don't know any other way for you to stop obsessing other than telling him then you can decide what to do.
2006-09-14 02:37:53 · answer #10 · answered by searaydreams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋