Hi, I really hope some of you guys can give me pointers on this. I met a great guy a couple of months ago, we spent loads of time together and became very close very quickly. We still kept our independence, however, but really enjoyed the time we spent together (including the fantastic sex!)
Everything was going great until a couple of weeks ago, when he suddenly announced that he was worried about getting into a 'really serious' relationship so soon after breaking up with his ex (about eight months ago). I suggested we take a break but he didn't want to do that - in fact he told me that he had fallen for me very quickly and was scared.
We spent that night together, but now he's distant again. He has contacted me but I feel a bad feeling in my gut. I sent him some sexy messages the other day and I got pretty average responses. I am concerned that he has lost interest...and I'm the last woman to want to be needy or dependent on someone. So...should I cut my losses now?
2006-09-14 02:31:32 · 6 answers · asked by Abigail G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is really helping me to sort my head out! A couple of things to add:
1. His ex dumped him. they were together for almost 8 years.
2. When he told me how he felt, I called his bluff and suggested with either be friends or see other people. He said he didn't want either of these.
3. He said it had nothing to do with me - just that he has fallen for me quicker than he has anyone...to which, in my drunken state, I replied ' I Love You!' - bad move I know - but he just smiled.
4. I have not been overly clingy since - and he was the first to contact me after that, just asking how my weekend was.
Any more help appreciated...and yes I know it was bad to reveal my feelings then...but that's something I cannot unfortunately change!
2006-09-14 02:32:36 · update #1
He's just there to bump uglies with you.
That and continuely string you along to keep bumping uglies when the mood strikes him without any disregard for you.
I should know got me a ton of pudding many years ago.
2006-09-14 02:40:34 · answer #1 · answered by Paul M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't help your feelings, so don't apoplogize for them, but your guy is understandably afraid of commitment so soon after a previous long term relationship. It is sad, but maybe under different circumstances you and he would have worked out great. However - Life is too short to "stand by" while he makes up his mind or dates other people. Break it off now - don't let him string you along. Maybe some time in the future your paths will cross again. Good Luck
2006-09-14 09:44:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did HE ever have a suggestion on what he wanted to do? He tells you that he's worried about a serious relationship, but did he ever say what he wanted to do about it. It's odd that you gave him several chances to get out, and he didn't take them, but is now acting flaky. You're doing all the right things. He may just be incredibly immature, and can't speak his true feelings. If I were you, I'd continue to be wary. Ask him what he wants to do, continue or end it. Give him a choice and see what he does with it.
2006-09-14 09:44:05 · answer #3 · answered by Astro 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You probably scared him with the "I love you" thing, give him some space to figure out what he wants, but still let him know that you are there for him. I would give it a little more time before you move on... just don't hang around waiting for this guy for forever.
2006-09-14 09:42:56 · answer #4 · answered by angielynn219 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone else that will treat you with respect.and love you for who you are, not for what is between your legs.
2006-09-14 09:36:49 · answer #5 · answered by Cobra 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow
wow! give it a week and see what happens. he knows where you stand.
1
2006-09-14 09:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by ash 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋