question to all the mothers.....?

Question

Sorry if this is the wrong category. Anyway, this is quite a personal question to mothers, mainly new ones...

Is anyone finding it really difficult to regain their sex life? I had my child over a year ago, and i am still totally revolted by even the thought of it!! I had PND and a horrible and long birth (ended in emergency C), so i think that will have something to do with it.

Does anyone have any odeas on how to get it back. Me and my husband have tried everything!! :(

Thanks for reading xx

Thanks to everyone that replied so quickly!! Im on the waiting list for councelling. Im off my anti depressants and me and my partner are going out tommorow, so ill see wot happens. Oh and ive just had my hair restyled so feeling sexxxxxxxy hehe. Thank you XX

Answer 1

yes

Answer 2

If you are off antidepressants and have already taken measures to make you feel better about yourself it sounds like you are well on the way to solving your own problems, I doubt that you will need counselling. But don’t forget, your partner has to put a bit of effort in too, if he is making himself look sexy then you are going to fancy him more so maybe he should have a hair restyle too :0)

It sounds as if you and your partner really love each other, if you have that love and the support that comes with it, then it really isn’t important about the sex, though I’m sure you will get back to a healthy sexual relationship when you are ready. It takes different people different amounts of time to get back in the swing of things, and it sounds like you have had a really hard time. Doing the pelvic exercises etc will not only help get your body back into shape and condition, but can also help with rebuilding your sex drive.

When you are ready a relaxing film evening together watching some videos with erotic content like Basic Instinct or The Piano may also help things along.

Answer 3

My only answer is time.

I had my son 2 years ago and it's only been in the last few months that I have felt that I want to do it again regularly. I was the same when I had my daughter, it took a while. I breastfed both my children and for that reason I didn't want to be touched sexually. A woman's body goes through a lot of trauma with pregnancy, birth and beyond, not to mention what it does to our minds.

I hope your husband is understanding your wants as this will help. Try and spend a lot of time with him on your own, just doing couple things away from the children, it's easy to forget there is a life out there after having a baby. Just cuddling and holding hands, watching a movie or going for dinner. If you really love him it will come back, just give it time. xx

Answer 4

I understand completely. I had two children only 19 months apart (the first with a C section) and felt that I never wanted sex again - I also had PND and have been on anti-depressants for the last 18 months. Both can affect your libido as can tiredness.

You need to make some time to get back into a sexual relationship with your husband. Is there someone who can have your child for the night? You two can have a 'date' (dress nicely for each other), have a bubble bath together and generally get used to the idea of turning each other on again. It will take time but it's important to your marriage. The very best of luck!

Answer 5

My son is almost 3 and I still could care less about sex. I think it's just that I'm so tired all the time. I have a hard time with him. He's still cutting his back teeth,and has his days and nights mixed up still, so it seems like I just can't make him happy.I also have a daughter and 2 step-sons, so somethings always going on at my house. I was put on Prozac for anxiety a couple of months ago and that seemed to help, now if I could just find time. Maybe some sexy lingerie to get you in the mood or something. Sorry I don't have any better suggestions.

Answer 6

Yes I remember that feeling, when a mother gives birth to her child, her body then has become a child bearing vessel and no longer is for sexual enjoyment as it has a new role in life...that is the way I think I felt anyway. I do think the hard time you had is even more so contributing towards this, you do need quality time out with you other half, glam yourself up, put on sexy clothes and try to feel sexy again once you regain that feeling I am sure things will return to normal.. Good luck

Answer 7

I was like this too after my daughter was born, i think i was terrified of getting pregnant again and i didnt feel that great about my body......12 months later her father/my ex went looking else where being the little gobshite he is.

Eventually i had to look at myself and figure out what was wrong....try making an effort with you appearance, i know this is hard with a new babe, get your hair done, get a new outfit and ask your mum or someone close to baby sit. Go on a night out with your hubby and spend some time together things will just right themselves eventually but you have to help things along slightly. Hope some of this helps, i know how horrible this is but its about redefining yourself as a woman, love those stretch marks girl!!!!

Answer 8

well i had my first child 21/2yrs ago and am now expecting my second...i went right off sex and the thought of it revolted me although i could watch a porn film and be quite turned on by it. I used to have a very high sex drive but not since my son was born.
I am hoping it will come back. I did not have PND or a C section.

Answer 9

I am a man....Mr. mom......After a woman gives birth, sometimes just the thought of giving birth again, and having to deal with the pain is a turn off. If you are breast feeding, that thought lasts even longer. You are now busy with your new baby, and may have no time for "other" things. My advice, is to take time out for yourselves when possible, think positive, be very romantic. If you have an understanding husband, he will help you through this as well. just be patient, and don't rush it, it will come back. I promise.

Answer 10

Is there anything else that isn't being said. If not then talk to a doctor. One possibility might be if you're nursing, it might have something to do with it but I'm not sure. I've had 2 with the one who nursed short term, it wasn't an issue even though I had a more difficult time. With the one who nursed long term, no period for over a year after birth. I wasn't interested, but i'm not sure it could be coincidental.

Answer 11

I can tell you have many fears. First of all make sure you are using a 100% contraceptive method. This is one of the biggest fears we, women have. Getting pregnant again.
Next, plan a mini honeymoon somewhere like have him take you out to dinner and dress super sexy for him and do stuff you don't normal do. In other words set the mood. Take a full day to work at this. Make sure you are both aware that you'll be subtle and he'll be gentle and understanding with you in case you freak out. Good luck and the best to you always!