Yesterday in the car, both my kids were in the backseat. My 11 yr old daughter was irritated by the fact that her little brother (age 8) was waving his hand in front of her face. He didn't even touch her. The next thing I know, she had karate chopped him right in the neck (adam's apple area).
Now I was very upset (yes I yelled! I know I shouldn't have) and didn't know what to do. I moved my son up front and made sure he was ok. But with her?
Immediately, I put her on the rest of this week and up until next Friday restriction from playing with friends/phone. TV fine, cause if she didn't have that it would be worse on me. But no friends. THAT she values.
Additional things: to write complete sentences on the following: ---20 ways I can manage my bx when responding to my little brother's bx.--10 ways I can show love to my brother-10 healthy ways I can respond to my anger/frustrations.
What else can I do? What works for you? HELP!!! not an isolated incident!
2006-09-14 01:53:26 · 13 answers · asked by xxxcariooo 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your idea on writing sentences is excellent....that was one of my mothers forms of punishment when I was younger...and it's a good one. They just don't get something taken away...they learn from the sentences they write, hopefully!! I think you've got a pretty good plan laid out...but you should also take the t.v. away EVEN IF it means a little more work or frustration on your part. Sometimes, as parents, we have to do things that seem to make the situation worse for us, but in the long run it's the best thing we can do for our kids. Get her in line now before she gets any older. I used to threaten my kids too much and not follow through because following through meant more work/trouble on my part but I stick with what I say...The most recent example....I was at the grocery store and had my cart about half-way packed. I had the 3 kids with me and they started their little arguing and bickering with one another. I told them "you keep it up and we're leaving"...now in the past I would have stayed, I'd already done too much working loading what I had in my cart so far...why would I want to leave and come back later and start over?? Well my middle daughter shoved my son into an aisle end and that was that. I pushed my cart to the side, got all 3 kids heading towards the exit and left...They were silent on the way home, they realized I was serious and even if mommy didn't get what she wanted, they didn't either...they were made to listen. It can be so hard on us to punish our children, because sometimes it means punishment for us, but in the longrun we're teaching them very valuable lessons in life...Good luck with your kiddos!!
2006-09-14 02:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't say how TALL she is- -----if she is like 5' 7" or 5' 9" or more, then 130lbs is NOT overweight even at 11 years old..... however if she is shorter and LOOKS pudgie, then what you have to do is TRICK HER BRAIN... use smaller plates and smaller portions... (the smaller plates will trick the brain into thinking it's getting a FULL PLATE of food---when it's not )... Also, you could get her outside more to PLAY---get her a bike to ride, maybe a set of monkey bars in the back yard or at the local park? Get her involved this summer in a sport--soft ball, volleyball, tennis, whatever... if it includes a ball, it is a sport and should be FUN for an 11 year old...OR, sign her up for martial arts classes---they do 30 minutes of WARM UP EXERCISES every single class---she could go 3-4 times a week during the summer and that would surely make her weight drop and her muscles tone up. Also, there is a lot to this eating 6 times a day thing----6 smaller meals given a few hours apart every day (veggies, fruit, chicken and fish, SOME pasta and potatoes but make the portions VERY SMALL.. this helps to speed the metabolism up----doing all these things TOGETHER (healthy smaller portions, exercise and get the kid AWAY FROM THE TV or videos or whatever inside)..will work WONDERS on your daughter's weight. Oh and STOP BUYING JUNK FOOD---if the chips, soda, cupcakes, cookies, pretzels, buttered popcorn, candy etc are NOT in the house, she won't be eating them.... Shop SMARTER!!!!!
2016-03-27 01:00:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You had the right to yell. I would have screamed the place down.
Restrictions are good. Take away the things that mean the most to her. I'd take the TV away and make her stay in her room.
I don't know about writing lines etc, but hell, why not give it a try.
You have to be extremely strict with her. Next time she does it take away something else like things in her room. Gets really bad, remove the bed and make her sleep on the mattress on the floor, take off her door.
If she continues with the problems with the brother, remove everything out of her room and give her nothing until she starts to improve, moving things back slowly.
Most of all GIVE HER NO MONEY.
2006-09-14 01:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by sarah071267 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt if she understood how seriously she might have hurt her brother. She may have seen someone do this on tv and the victim was 'ok'.
Sounds like you handled it pretty well. (By the way, the yelling may not have been so bad at all. It may have let her know IMMEDIATELY how out of line she was. Don't beat yourself up over that.)
Watch for signs of physical destructive beavior from her in the future and if it occurs again, you may need to get some professional help for her. Some kids just don't understand the seriousness of inflicting pain on others.
Also, keep in mind that she is a pre-teen with all THAT involves emotionally and hormonally, etc.
2006-09-14 04:02:25 · answer #4 · answered by Puzzler 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When this happens to us (2 boys 11 & 7) we of course, take something away from them and we make them sit down and talk about what happened and why it happened, why did they act the way they did and what could prevent this from happening again. Sometimes it works sometimes it don't. After all is said and done, we make both of them apologize to each other, give each other a big hug and a I love you. Sounds like you've got the right idea. Good luck and I hope everything works out for your family.
2006-09-14 01:57:46 · answer #5 · answered by giwsd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as tho you need to turn to a professional on this one. If she's done this in the past, she seems to have a really bad temper.
Sit her down and roll play with her, she be you and u be her, this may cause some laughter, but it could also make her see how horrible she is being to you and her brother.
As a mother of 2 boys, i've used this a few times and it made them see how stupid they were acting.
2006-09-14 01:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by cvs_girl_36 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was a kid I crossed the street with my older sister. I got punished!!! I had to stay in my parents room all day with the lights off and the door closed, the window shades pulled! I had to be in the bed looking like I was asleep! Food was brought in to me by my mom (soup), and water was always in there. I was in there from about 10am until 10pm. I even watched as my sisters played volleyball with kids from the neighborhood in my front yard. It really sucked. But I never crossed the street again until my dad said it was ok for me to. If you don't make it suck they don't think about what they did. And boy did it really suck for me that day.
2006-09-14 02:01:17 · answer #7 · answered by Spirit-X 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a time when she is calm and in a good mood. Take her out for ice cream, McDonalds, etc and ask her calmly why she has they anger outbursts. MAKE SURE YOU COMMUNICATE TO HER (NO VERBALLY) THAT YOU ARE TRULY READY TO LISTEN. She may truly open up.
I have a 8 year old girl who "goes off" too--so I know it isn't easy. Its not your fault totally; but be ready to let her blow off some smoke. She may say some hurtful things; but it may help you understand her better.
I hope it goes well.
2006-09-14 01:57:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just love her and wave all the punishments. These things are normal and necessary for future boundings. We all did this in our childhood. Please forgive her. She might be feeling neglected as she might be thinking that you love your son more. It is normal. Give them freedom to interact with each other. No one can stop accidents, you can not protect your children 100% from injury. Love your children a lot. You are lucky to have children - one son and one daughter.
Recently we were gone for a late night movie and my eldor son (9 years old) slapped the littel one ( 3.5 years old) on his ear and in the morning we had to take him to doctor. We told the elder one never to repeat it.
2006-09-14 02:05:36 · answer #9 · answered by arooon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An opinion from an older child:
My sister would pull sh*t like that. I'm not touching you crap is so annoying. She would literally annoy me for hours just waiting for me to snap and then go & tell on me.
Your son should have gotten in trouble too.
2006-09-14 02:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by jennypoo803 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋