Should I cut my losses now?

Question

Hi, I really hope some of you guys can give me pointers on this. I met a great guy a couple of months ago, we spent loads of time together and became very close very quickly. We still kept our independence, however, but really enjoyed the time we spent together (including the fantastic sex!)

Everything was going great until a couple of weeks ago, when he suddenly announced that he was worried about getting into a 'really serious' relationship so soon after breaking up with his ex (about eight months ago). I suggested we take a break but he didn't want to do that - in fact he told me that he had fallen for me very quickly and was scared.

We spent that night together, but now he's distant again. He has contacted me but I feel a bad feeling in my gut. I sent him some sexy messages the other day and I got pretty average responses. I am concerned that he has lost interest...and I'm the last woman to want to be needy or dependent on someone. So...should I cut my losses now?

This is really helping me to sort my head out! A couple of things to add:

1. His ex dumped him. they were together for almost 8 years.

2. When he told me how he felt, I called his bluff and suggested with either be friends or see other people. He said he didn't want either of these.

3. He said it had nothing to do with me - just that he has fallen for me quicker than he has anyone...to which, in my drunken state, I replied ' I Love You!' - bad move I know - but he just smiled.

4. I have not been overly clingy since - and he was the first to contact me after that, just asking how my weekend was.

Any more help appreciated...and yes I know it was bad to reveal my feelings then...but that's something I cannot unfortunately change!

Answer 1

He may truly be scared but its always better in the long run to go with your gut feelings

Answer 2

Listen from what I have read, the best thing you can do to save yourself from further hurt and embarrassment is to go ahead and cut your losses and move on with your life. Sooner or later he will try to get back with you, but if it takes every ounce of strength you have you must not let your inner emotions make a rational decision. Move on and sooner or later you will find someone who will want to make a committment to you, instead of wanting to play games. Really whether you want to admit it or not, this guy is a player. That is all. If you let him back he will play you again. So move on, do not even look back, look to the future. If you do this I promise life will be so much better for you.

Answer 3

You should hold back on your emotions. He's giving you average responses so start giving him average questions and messages. He seems distant so give him his space. Evidently something or someone is on his mind so give him the chance to think. That doesnt mean your world has to stop. See other people, you dont have to necessarily date but go out with other people. He's unsure so one of his possible decisions may be to leave you alone so dont have your heart in a place where it may be broken. Safeguard your heart and be careful!

Answer 4

It sounds like he has a trust issue with you. And its probably cause of his ex. Its very difficult to help someone that can never trust again. Been there done that. No matter how hard you try they will still not trust you & it will put such a strain on you in many ways. I would just move on.

Answer 5

Take it slow. Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst. It takes time to know someone. During the first few months we are operating on a chemical attraction.

Answer 6

Back off and give him some time. Let him come to you if and when he's ready. In the mean time don't sweat it, if he's not the one I'm sure there's plenty of other guys who would be interested.

Answer 7

either cut them now, become a f buddy and wait for booty calls or be unhappy

Answer 8

Cut your losses, move on, have fun.

Answer 9

dont go after him, if he returns he was meant for you

Answer 10

give him some more time.