Why are some parents on Yahoo giving answers that are insulting and judgemental?

Question

I know I shouldn't let the opinion of a stranger probably 1000 miles away get under my skin, but it really upsets me to see people on here take a persons question(s) and determine that they are a bad parent or screwing their kids up for life. I have seen answers to my questions as well as others questions, where other parents are insulting and making judgements on parents, and instead of simply giving their opinion, they are telling them they are causing emotional damage to their kids, that they shouldn't have had kids, and referring them to parenting websites and books. This forum is to get a variety of opinions, not tell someone they are a bad parent based on a brief glimps into their life, by the quesitons they post. If you had 2 moms and one gave her baby solids at 2 months and the other waited until hers was 6 months, or one mom limits her kids movies to G and the other lets her 10 yrs old watch PG13, why is either one a "Bad Mother"? It is just 2 different ways of parenting.

One of the main topics of debate on here seems to be the "Spank or don't spank" argument. Instead of simply saying "I choose not to spank and here is why....." or "I spank my kids and this is why......" parents each want to tell each other that they are bad parents and are going to warp their kids. Who made the people on here "Experts"? I asked a question about putting my daughter in a "non-competative" pagent, where all the kids do is show off their dresses and prance around looking cute and they all get a trophy, and all of a sudden I am selfish, a bad mom, an teaching my daughter to be shallow and to judge someone on their looks, and was even referred to a parenting website. I intant messaged the woman, and asked her if that was a hint that I needed parenting help and she said "I didn't think it was a hint." How rude!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Since people have been having children, there have been other parents that have been giving their opinions about the way people parent. I don't know why people get so judgemental about it. What works for one parent may not work for another.. all people are different and all children are different. Personally, I never chastize parents unless I am asked something or told something that obviously smacks of abuse or neglect. EX " My son is 3 years old.. is he too young to leave home alone?" or " My son just won't listen, so I beat him raw with a belt.. is this okay?"

If I ever saw questions like this, then I would have an opinion that wasn't very nice and I would be saying that they were screwing up their kids.. however.. if someone asked me if spanking their 4 year old was wrong... that's different. I would say something like.. try this, this and this instead.. and if that doesn't work, but spanking does.. then all the power to you. You obviously know what works.

Parenting is one of those things that doesn't come with a how-to book.. it's interpretation, experimentation. And when there are grey areas.. people ALWAYS have an opinion.. perhaps putting someone else down for their parenting attemp makes them feel better as a parent.. perhaps they're doubting their own abilities as a parent.

As for me, I NEVER let what anyone says make me feel bad for being a mother, and trying everything I can to come up with the best solution for my children, and my family in general. If they don't like it.. don't do it to your own children, but don't presume to know my situation. Don't presume to know what I have or have not tried to do with my children.. and don't EVER presume that you would make a better parent to my child than me.. or I'll send them to your house, and you can try to come up with something better.

Answer 2

What happens when you go to a social engagement, a party lets say. You are invited by someone whom you know, there are some people there whom you already know and then there are people whom you meet for the first time.

Those you meet for the first time are dealt with care and prudence while your older acquaintances are freely conversed with.

So this is a place that YAHOO has invited all of us, we are talking about our issues and god knows what all, we choose to talk to some and then we choose to ask a few things, opinions keep pouring and like those in the party whom we learn to avoid we do the same with the ones who choose to ruin the forum and the essence of this forum. That is all.

Then sometimes we get to know the same person we consider rude is not really a bad person at all, there was something wrong that day or this is just the way they react on the issue that was being discussed (too emotionally, that is).

I am sure that you are letting these opinions get in the way of your decisions -well don't.

Listen to what every one has to say, but do what you think is good for you because -Best may not be good for you, it may be the best but then then what your case may need is good only and that should be the best. (pls this is not rhetoric or being rude just keeping it plain and simple)

Answer 3

Some people are judgemental, I had an issue with someone over a misconception on my part. The person wrote some things I did not like I confronted this person and invited aresponse. None was forth coming. Some people are jusy angry, unhappy, or just mean. Some people don't want to be disagreed with. There are numerous reason people belittle others. Just ignore what you don't like. I like a good confrontation and I do bait people to try to get one. Sometimes they bite, sometimes not.

Answer 4

You are totally right, besides no child comes with an instructions manual. Some people think that because something worked for them it work for everybody and that not true. That the reason because we are humans, we have differences. May be those that you said are in here giving opinions and advises about other parents' children and their are out side at the street without guidance or may be the next door neighbor is ill-treating his /her children and they just make their selves blind, but have the guts to "advice" people in here.

Answer 5

I even have not been burdened. whether I even have had an e mail or 2 back from somebody who did no longer like my remark and would have felt indignant. At that factor "a tender answer turns away wrath". i will generally say sorry for any area of my remark that could have been offensively worded. in one case I puzzled whether a definite questioner had the abilities to assert what he substitute into saying. He despatched me an e mail, giving his skills, and then we had an substitute of emails wherein I found out particularly a lot, substitute into inspired to a pair quantity, yet did no longer come to agree along with his significant premise. we are continually gainers if we take issues in a delightful way. If a questioner makes a remark that I deliberate to be outrageous I answer it precise in this internet site. If an answerer makes a remark that seems ot be outrageous, on uncommon events I even have emailed them to project their remark. i desire they do no longer sense it extremely is harassment! they're going to now and back respond, yet I usually does no longer proceed my emails till I felt there substitute into some communicate.

Answer 6

People that are biased or think their way is the only way tend to be the miserable ones. I geniunly feel bad for people like that. Don't let them get to you...nobody else should either. It is their way of building themself up. Obviously they are unhappy in there day to day existence...so knocking others down seems to be there only way to uplift themselves. I don't think there is any one right way to raise a child. Each parent is different and each child is different. A parent can only learn by trial and error. In the end all that matters is the child and parent are comfortable and happy with their choices.

Answer 7

Its just that most people are insulting and judgemantal I think. You are right. Parents do the best they can. They make mistakes and do good things too. Don't worry too much about what others do or think. I don't even have kids so it wouldn't be wise to take my advice about them. My sister told me last month that my 3 year old niece had loose teeth. I wqas wondering what sort of disease would cause that. Relax, follow the advice you like, ignore what you don't.

Answer 8

quick thought....if they give advice that is detrimental(yes, wrong spelling), can you imagine what their lives are like?

Parenting is love and concern and trying your best and at the same time feeling guilty as hell cause you dont know if you are doing the right thing...how you punish a child teaches them how to deal with their own situations....and if a spanking is needed...oh well....

not one person will wholly agree on what is proper parenting or what is the best form of punishment...what works for one, doesnt for the next...if the advice people give is good, you will know....and for the ones that annoy you....laugh at the comments...because they are only words on a screen!

Answer 9

Because the nature of this forum is that people are anonymous. They can do rude and nasty things because nobody will know who did it. they can say thing here that they would never say to your face.I think you see people's true nature when they think nobody can link the deed to them. Take an online anonymous contribution for what it's worth and don't give anyone who offends you any more attention than they deserve.

Answer 10

You are absolutely correct, everyone has a different parenting *style*. Most likely the people on here judge because they don't have to explain their reasoning and therefore don't have to be held accountable. But, that's only my opinion.