if a sibling has died (brother/sister)?

Question

hi, if you have lost a brother or sister or any family member for that matter, is it appropriate when asked about them that you include your deceased family member as part of the family? example: someone asks- 'How many brothers do you have'? you answer 'two' when infact one has died....Is this ok or do you think it is up to the individual....? should we say 'I have one brother and one died'???

well, I would ONLY mention this if I was asked....i would NEVER offer this information willingly and NEVER to people I hardly know, I rarely talk about it to such people....

Answer 1

You say whatever you want hun. He will always be your brother, he did exist. Say whatever you feel comfortable with in your heart. You don`t have to explain anything to anyone.

Answer 2

If I didn't know you and I asked how many family members you had. Then you mentioned some deceased members of your family, I would feel awkward and embarrassed in an awkward social situation. I would suggest, until you know people better, you refrain from exchanging personal or family information to avoid making anyone feel awkward in what is a very initial contact. Bereavement stories coming out of the blue like that can put one off.

Answer 3

My children offer this information at times when they feel it is appropriate and if they feel they want to be put in a position that they may have to explain themselves further!! If they want to tell people about their brother and sister who died then they do ..if they don't feel up to an explanation then they don't mention them. It all depends on how they feel at the time and who they are talking to. Sorry this isn't more specific but I think there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to death....good luck and bless you.

Answer 4

What ever you are most comfortable with .. even in death your brother is still your brother. I know when people ask me how many children I have, I always answer 2. Even though one has past, he is still my child. I am really sorry about the loss of your brother.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 5

My grandad on my fathers side of the family has died and my grandma on my mums side of the family has also died. I am an only child but if i was to refer to brothers and sisters that had died, i would say for example, if i had two brothers and one had died i would say "i HAD two brothers, but one has passed away" i think that nice enough.

Answer 6

It's perfectly appropriate to include all siblings, living and dead. Don't even feel you need to specify unless someone specifically asks or it comes up. Most people will just feel awkward if you put it out there straightaway so I'd advise you to mention it only in situations which are comfortable for you and aren't likely to solicit crass remarks.

Answer 7

I unquestionably have a brother (6 years youthful than i'm) and a sister (13 years youthful than i'm). i became an in hassle-free terms infant till I grew to become 6, and that i did not forgive my brother for doing away with all my interest till he became sixteen. I have fun with it greater now!

Answer 8

totally up to the individual,my father passed 2 years ago and i still refer to him in conversations with friends as though is was still alive,although if i am feeling sad I won`t mention him at all to save my self from getting too emotional. here on this earth or not,they still your family,and those who feel it is unappropiate have no heart.,or suffered a loss of a close one. by talking about them your keeping their memory alive,only time I have found it difficult is when returning to work after my father died ,a few work colleagues brought me flowers and gifts to let me know they all thinking of me and a security guy said to me without realising "oh yea what did you do to deserve that" and I said "nothing,my dad died,the girls are showing there support" kind of an awkward moment for us both.

Answer 9

My brother died when I was 12, I understand what you mean - by not mentioning them it is disprespecting their memory but when you do mention it, you are evoking sympathy from people when that isn't really what you want either. A hard one.
Ususally I don't mention it, as people who use their personal tradgedy to get attention really P**s me off and I don't want to be seen as someone like that.

Answer 10

If a sibling has died, they have not disappeared from history. They are still your sister/brother. It is up to you if you wish to disclose that they have passed on. My mother, father and sister have all passed on leaving only me. I still include them when discussing my family. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes!