Hi,
I am a callgirl otherwise known as an escort. Please do not proceed to tell me it is morally wrong, dirty, etc. I already know many people think that way.
I didn't expect to meet somebody but I did. He has told me he loves me and I really want to keep my relationship with him... The only problem is I made up a lie for my job like I usually do when people ask. I didn't expect our relationship to go a romantic route but it has.
I don't know if I should tell him but I am worried he can find out. Nobody knows and I always intended to keep it that way. I do not know if I can trust him with that information but don't want to keep him in the dark, I feel very bad. I am not so much afraid of him breaking it off with me as I am of him telling mutual friends if he does. On the other hand, if he doesn't break up with me I am afraid of how he wil treat me. Should I keep it secret or Should I tell him, and if so how?
2006-09-13 22:49:44 · 30 answers · asked by whiteknuckleit 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank you all for the great answers so far, so now my question is...
Do I break up with him so I don't have to tell him or tell him and wait to see his reaction? I don't want to be alone all of my life and I am not planning on quitting this anytime soon. I don't know if I could quit for somebody... should I?
2006-09-13 23:04:55 · update #1
Sorry but no matter how or when you tell him it going to change your relationship. Even if he seems OK with it now sooner or later it will become ammo in a fight. This profession isn't good for a normal relationship. The men that can handle knowing what you do will become cool inside and the relationship suffer from it. If you are afraid that friends and family will find out then you need to stop before your hurt by the truth coming out. Sooner or later it will. The only time I've seen a working relationship work is when the guy doesn't really care and just what the income and free sex. sorry but that the truth. If your going to tell him you need to quit and be honest with him. He going to ask lots of question and you better be ready to answer them. If the income is needed then you may need to limit the relation to friends with benefits and keep the secrets to your self. This is a sure way never to have a meaningful relation thou.
Good luck and be safe.
2006-09-15 05:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by tazintampa 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
actually though it might be considered as something immoral but still u haven't rob or stolen from anybody. i used to be a hostess when i was young and naive but it ain't that bad. i've learnt alot in the sense of hw to avoid and how to counter their moves.. so, i think it's really important to be frank but maybe u shd test out first if u're afraid truth might leak coz guys like to share everything they know about gals and of course like what gals can do behind doors....... i wonder hw financially independent u are but even if u're in dire straits i'm sure there're other jobs that pay well too though u might have to work for longer hours. if u need help i can get u a job but hope u can stop working in this line and move on coz u won't even be worth a dime in time to come...... love is an amazing feeling.. compelling u to do the most amazing things u wouldn't even have thought of.. u can stumble in love but nevertheless it does help u to grow. if he really loves u he can accept eveything about u. who doesn't have a past? some ppl who ain't even escorts have bedded countless guys too.. worst still they're nt even paid and enjoy the whole ****. best of luck!
2006-09-13 23:12:12 · answer #2 · answered by mystical 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This will end badly. If he doesn't already know you have NO idea how he will react.
I can tell you that he probably will not be OK with it. So, I would break up with him. Don't start any more relationships on lies. I know that is hard since the work you do. But it is the life you chose. You should not be worried about who knows what you do. It is not wrong. You should have friends that are supportive of what you choose.
2006-09-14 05:46:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Always be honest from the very beginning.Your living a lie.Your mistake one you should of told him before the first date.It is telling me your not pround who you are and shame on you.You need to understand you are destroying your life.Easy money has no meaning and you have a life that will give you a life of pain.You need to get to know God. Being a callgirl is keeping you from being a loving person and from knowing God.
2006-09-13 23:00:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your luck. You entered the relationship with lies,it will always be a lie even if you tell him.I would be more pissed that you started it that way than if you stopped seeing me.
You say you won't quit so how do you ever expect to find something real?
A good relationship needs to have a good foundation......Lies are a terrible way to build a foundation
2006-09-13 23:18:10 · answer #5 · answered by want2wild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, it would be better to tell him the truth. however, be ready for the consequences when you tell him. have an agreement with him that should you tell him your real job, he has to keep it in confidence because you trust him and you love him. should he leak the information to your mutual friends, that is part and parcel of the risk that you have to take.
you ultimately make the decision whether to tell him or not. you're in a difficult situation so it would be best for you to think things over and analyze its advantages and disadvantages first before you make the decision.
good luck!
2006-09-13 23:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by smiling face 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would not be fair to either of you if you continue this relationship with this kind of secret. Think of it like if the tables were reversed, would you be able to handle this news or would it be kinder to break things off?
Everyone knows why we chose the profession each of us are in, yours just carries a wee bit more baggage with it.
In your case, if you are not ready for the consequences that honesty may bring then I suggest that you break up with him.
You obviously know that life isn't fair.
Sorry pet, but that's my honest opinion.
CT
2006-09-13 22:57:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u love him and value yr relatioinship with him, should tell him the truth wisely as u cannot keep this secret forever... So why not let him know earlier and let him know the reason u cannot lie him anymore (such as how u value this relationship and love him). if he feels the same way like u, he won't break up with u.. good luck gal..
2006-09-13 22:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by nicy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is going to be a problem with any relationship. the only real solution is to move and start a new lifestyle somewhere else. seriously ... otherwise you may be "outed" years from now, with serious consequences for any family you have then. either that, or go to the other extreme, and just tell everybody and then you won't have anything to hide ... as long as you change your lifestyle.
2006-09-13 22:55:17 · answer #9 · answered by Jim 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one thing i can say is that as long as you are going out with him, keeping this secret to yourself is just going to make you miserable, paranoid and guilty. Even if you do change your job (as so many are suggesting)..it is better to tell him the truth..after all wouldnt you want him to do the same for you. if he truly LOVES you..he will accept you no matter what kinda job you have..and if he doesnt..then he's not really worth it. also if he stays with you but treats you differently..then its the same thing as him not accepting you for who u r..leave him.explain to him exactly what you have said..about not expecting to fall in love with anyone..see what happens..you never know until you try..good luck!
2006-09-13 23:12:08 · answer #10 · answered by sUnSh!ne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋