This is the deal. I'm an old school kind of guy. I'm 31 years old and I met a 21 year old young lady. I like her, she liked me, the sex was good and we married. After we got married I found out that she had been with over 70 people. She would mark on a calender the days she had sex so she could figure out who the father would be if she got pregnant. Also, She says it was fun and she enjoyed it. I asked questions like a dummy, and she is frank with me. She says," I've had bigger, smaller than you and one big one was good", with a grin. "I couldn't have him all the time cuz he left me too sore". She says there were just sex, but it bothers me. She tried to call one of her ex boyfriends this week. I saw the number in her phone, and I asked who was it. She told me it was her ex and that she was having dreams about him and wondering if he was alright. She says that when the phone ranged she hung up cuz that indicated that he was alive. Should her # of partners bother me?
2006-09-13 22:33:00 · 20 answers · asked by jabone1111 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't get me wrong, I do love her dearly. It is just once I found out it is hard to get it out of my head. She has given me plenty details. I should have asked before hand. Most guys when they are looking for a wife they are looking for the lady with the highest tally. I think I'm disappointed a bit. I love her and want to be with her. It is hard for me to move forward right now. Like I said I'm 31 and have been sexually active since 19 and I haven't been with over 30 people. It shocked me when I first heard it. I hurt me. I think the details from her hurt me the most, ie, "It was just freaky sex, it was a good different". I'm thinking about counseling.
2006-09-13 23:08:13 · update #1
There isn't anything you can do to change what she has already done. Whether it should bother you or not, you'll have to accept it.
2006-09-13 22:37:32 · answer #1 · answered by Spaceman 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, many people would agree that 70 is too many if you are 71. The calendar was much more prudent than her behavior. However, let's face it, men do the same thing and they keep books that date when they slep with who incase they get sued for paternity. So how many women have you bedded? I would be worried if she was not answering questions and was keeping secrets. Regarding being old school tho, don't kid yourself-if you were you would not have been rolling in the hay with her and you would not have married her. i guess you should have waited to know her better but you didn't and you well may have no reason to worry. Faithfulness just remains to be seen. It freaked you out a bit and you are a little jealous but let go and keep your eyes on the present and the future. At least you know she has some wits about her, has committed and has promised fidelity and you married her for a reason. I read liked and sex but not love in your explanation. If it wasn't it should have been for love but sometimes those things happen too when we don't even expect them. She made her vows, you made yours, and now it would be most sensible to see if you two keep that working for you. Suspicion and jealousy aren't the miracle grows to do that with so keep one eye on the present and one on the future. Heck, you said the sex was good and she said big guys get her sore and little ones don't tickle her fancy, so you must be just right what more can I tell you?
2006-09-14 05:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by beverly p 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I do not think you should worry about the partners, but that you should worry if an old fart like you can keep the interst of a woman 10 years younger. Not that 31 is old. Heck I am older than you, but when I was her age I was going out with an old man like you. It is so much nicer to go out with someone our own age that we have something in common with and can relate to. Someone without all that old man bagage and control issues. She is still the same woman you married. Did you know her at all when you married her? What did you want from her just a young woman to control? Some young woman to sleep with? Perhaps it will work out best for both of you. You will break up or stay together. Perhaps you are not good enough for her. Who knows who you are. You may just be some negative old fart.
I have no clue what a 21 year old beautiful woman is doing these days and what could be normal.
2006-09-15 06:27:28 · answer #3 · answered by adobeprincess 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
70+ partners & she is 21!
You should have asked her b4 u married her!
1 thing 4 sure, I see your concerns and I think u r right, you should be worried. I mean for a 21 year old who has had sex with more than 70 men, can she now settle and remain faithful to you for the rest of her life! i have doubts about that. The fact that she tried calling her ex is very alarming. I strongly believe that any relations with ex should end once u enter a serious commitment. Why on earth would she call him? even if she had a dream, so what, why care?!!
My answer to you is;
YES, you should be more than BOTHERED
2006-09-14 05:48:31 · answer #4 · answered by fozio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get over it, it's in the past, she married you didn't she? not someone else! I'm sure that some of the sex you've had with other girls was 'good, different' to what you have with your wife. It is always different from one partner to the next. Is she hung up on whether a girl you had sex with had bigger or smaller boobs that her? I doubt it. If she handles it, and you sexual history, you should hers!
2006-09-14 06:27:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes it should definately bother you...70 partners is waaaaaayyyyyy too many for a 21 year old...I am only just 27 and have been with only 6 or 7 sex partners...know what u are getting in to before you make a big mistake
2006-09-14 06:40:50 · answer #6 · answered by kendra26nj 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It all comes back to the old double standards.if a guy had slept with 70 people he'd be a stud but when a woman does it shes labeled a ho!! Maybe you should have learnt more about each others past before becoming involved
2006-09-14 05:39:24 · answer #7 · answered by poptrash 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Of all my girlfs, the ones who have been as permiscious as your mrs keeps it a secret - especially from boys let alone husbands. the fact that she is being so blatant admits shes a slapper. im sorry to have to say this to you but she shouldnt discuss her sex history with you if she is gonna make out that she has had better. You are her husband. life long partner. she needs to learn about respect.
2006-09-14 05:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by Ms.Trouble 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She like sex! Marriage....should have dated longer and she may have told you this before you got married to her.
Too late for that. Meanwhile, I hope it works out for you.
Maybe that's what she wanted, a man of her own.
2006-09-14 05:39:25 · answer #9 · answered by alysonhell 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes that would bother me if she is marking on a calender and talking about it all the time.
2006-09-14 05:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
21 years old and 70+ partners? wow! she was (is?) a very busy young lady. scares the heck out of me ...
2006-09-14 05:38:10 · answer #11 · answered by Jim 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋