My Personal 20 Move KATA for grading - Criticism and Input much appreciated?

Question

I have to make my own personal 20 move Kata to pass my next belt grading to become a green belt, Please tell me what you think.. should I include, change anything?? There is two opponents in this kata.

Kata - 20 moves.

BOW. STANCE - Kyai. opp1
1. Jab
2. Cross
3. Roundhouse
4. Spinning Hook Kick
5. Block (Hook from opponent)
6. Jab
7. Left Hook
8. Hopping Knee keep hands around neck
9. Trap opponent around neck and Takedown (sliding feet from
under opponent)
10. Stomp on opponent

STANCE - Kyai. opp2
11. Outer Crescent Kick (to Disarm opponent)
12. Push kick
13. Jab
14. Cross
15. Parry and Trap arm.
16. Spinning Elbow (while holding Arm)
17. Choke Hold.
18. Choke.
19. Takedown (kicking legs from under opponent while choking)
20. Stomp.

STANCE - Kyai. Bow. END

Answer 1

Not a bad Kata, actually. The choke hold may be difficult to clearly show, perhaps a forceful parry stepping to your spinning, and rather than elbow, follow with a chop and virutally simultaneous sweep, essentially using the chop as your pressure point for the sweep. Then drop to knee and strike, closing the form there. Just a thought.

Answer 2

Karate is based in self defence and as such all kata movements should incorporate a defensive move before a strike. If you look at the traditional kata you will see this, even if the defence is a subtle evasive body movement.

I would seriously question any teacher that requires a student to create a kata for a greenbelt grading! There are plenty of traditional kata's that need to be studied and understood before creating your own. Sorry if this sound harsh, it's not meant as a critisism of you.

Answer 3

I would ask a higher belt in your school. They will know what your instructor is looking for.