how many people on here have been adopted?

Question

Hi I am 37 years old and was adopted when I was two,I don;t remeber my birth parents as a child.But as I got older I was able to meet my birth mom,I have a son now to,but my mom doesnt understand why i wont have much to do with her,its not that i dont care about her its just that i look at my adopted parents as my parents and i have more of a bond with them.my question is do any other adopted kids feel this way,and what kind of relationship do you have with your birth parents?

Answer 1

I think the mere birth relationship can not compare to the bringing up relationship.

Your birth mom has not been with you all these while.

You are closer to your adopted parents because :
- they milked you , changed your diapers when you were baby
- they encouraged you and cheered you when you tried your first step
- when you were injured , they were there to nurse you and hug you and told you you were soon be alright.
- they lend you the shoulders to cry on when you were sad
- they took photos with you with the big bear hug on each of your birthday.
- each night they told you the bed-time story and kissed you good night
- etc etc..... need I to say more ?

The relationship with your adopted parents compared to your birth mom is so different . One is build upon bits by bits of love and sweat , the other is by blood .

ask yourself , Where is your love ?

But then, you can show respect as someone elder . Love for your birth mom has to take time . No one can force you to love .
You understand this , whatever others say is not important .
What is important is you know where your heart is . But open
the door for your birth mom, no body rejects love.

You can love a friend , you can love someone new , you too can learn to love your birth mom. It doesn't mean you have to love your adopted parents to love your birth mom. It simmply means you can have love for more people and more people can love you.

Answer 2

Hey I'm 20 and I was adopted when I was.. about 6 months old? I think you were lucky to have been able to meet your birth mother. I'm Asian, and I was born in North Korea. When my parents adopted me, I was flown to MD and they picked me up there. Seeing as how NK is a Communist country, the only logical explanation for me is that my biological parents are dead, and I consider myself lucky that I now live in the USA because I know that if I'd stayed over there, I'd probably be dead or in a really bad way. I've often thought about my biological parents.. wondered if they were alive, and if so, if they ever thought about me, and even if they had other kids that they adopted out in the hopes that they would have a better future.

Anyway, I understand the bond you have with your adopted parents. Even if nobody else does, your adopted parents took on the responsbility of raising you, and, if they were like mine, never hid from you that you were adopted. To me, that makes adopted kids even more special than biological ones, because we were wanted. Some kids were 'accidents'.. you understand where I'm going with this. But adopted kids I think are a little more special because we didn't 'just happen' and pay for it the rest of our lives. We were chosen to have a 2nd chance at a good family life and that is one of the best gifts a child could receive.

My parents never hid the fact that I was adopted. It was more like they celebrated it and the fact that I wasn't like them or anybody else in the area. My 2 brothers and 2 sisters were also adopted. To adopt 5 kids tells a lot about the adoptive parents as well. The parents need to have enough love to spread around to all of the children and still have some left over to keep giving. I want to be like my adoptive mom. She made me want to adopt a child of my own because she gave me a 2nd chance at life.

Answer 3

Great question.I was adopted at birth and my parents were married and I was the 7th child. My (adopted) parents...(who from now on will be referred to only as my parents) and my b-parents were friends. Both of my b-parents were alcoholics and the family was in bad shape. My parents never hid it from me and when I was 14 I decided to meet my b-family. The only reason I wanted to meet them was because I had 6 full siblings. I have never been close to my b-mom, b-dad died in 1982. I feel like I have parents who love me, stood by me, took care of me through the good and the bad...(teenagers!) and no one can replace them. Not that she hasent tried though...she has. I have heard her lies and her justification until I am ready to puke. I am 45. I love my sibs, for them I am grateful, but I could have lived my life without her ever knowing her. She has told me lie after lie, tried to make ME feel guilty. Said bad things about people she used and abused and I don't intend to be one of them. She has tried bribes with expensive jewelry, guilt, anger, whatever she can but I am not ever going to budge. Tell her how you feel, I did, not in a mean way just matter of fact. you cant come back into someones life after years and pick up where you left off just because she had you. I said one time any dog on the street can have puppies....
But your parents are your parents. They are the ones who loved you unconditionally. I have had a lot of therapy...a lot of support groups and sadly for me, it will never be completely resolved. Maybe because my parents had been married 16 years when I was born. They were adults with other children. They had a responsibility and a commitment to take care of us all. Not spend all the money on booze, sleep with who ever came along, let their kids go hungry. I had no respect for them and I never will. Good luck to you though. Follow your heart, hang on to your son because you know how precious kids are and remember that you only owe yourself and the parents who will love you forever,

Answer 4

I guess in a way, all of us could be adopted if our parents are lying to us. . . . .

But seriously, it sounds like your feelings are in the right place. The people that adopted you are the ones that unselfishly brought you up and were your parents. Yes, your mother gave you life, but that was about it. Continue to keep your family, related or not, together, regardless of what your birth mother thinks.

Answer 5

not i.