What do I do about my emo cousin?

Question

So here's the story... I have a 17 year old cousin that is almost like a little sister to me. Problem is.. the last couple of years she has really weirded out on me. She very much likes the whole emo style and has turned to liking and drawing some questionable material (for example pin-ups, bloody things, tattoos, piercings, suicide girls, etc.) I even found a photograph of her kissing another girl on one of those popular art sites. I always thought of her as a really sweet girl, with strong moral character, bubbly and happy, and now I feel like I'm losing her to the garbage of society. I sometimes want to confront her about it, but then I back off thinking it would probably want to make her rebel even more. Do you think she'll grow out of it? Is there a way I can get her to realize that her new interests are unhealthy, vulgar and immoral? I've shed a lot of tears worrying about her and being very disappointed... but I guess it's *somewhat* normal teenage stuff.

Answer 1

Hopefully she grows out of it...Try while talking to her bring up things, ask questions as if your really interested, you can make the conversation go the way you want. Dont start by saying what you are doing is wrong, heck i didnt know what EMO was till you explained what she is doing...Good Luck...

Answer 2

I'd say leave her be and let her find herself.
It's always nice to have someone to talk to, especially in the rough teenage years, and you probably don't want to alienate her or your relationship by coming down on her.
She likely already gets enough flak from her parents, what she'd more likely appreciate is support.

If she asks for your opinion on her lifestyle, feel free to be honest, but it's not your place to lecture her. Let her find herself. She might "grow out of it" or this might be the person she is growing into. Either way, respecting her decisions will keep your friendship through this time in her life.

As long as she's not hurting anyone and doing anything illegal, what is the harm? Just because you think her interests are unhelathy, vulgar, and immoral, doesn't make it so.

Answer 3

She might just be experimenting with the lifestyle. She might grow out of it. Maybe she won't.

If you are really worried, then talk to her about how she is going, what she is doing, see if she has any problems or issues. Then invite her out to places that are considered "normal" every now and then, which shows you still care for her and will be there for her.

If you tell her not to do something, she is likely to want to do it even more.

What is she actually doing though? I would say if she is happy and not doing or taking anything illegal, then let her be. As soon as she becomes unhappy or is getting hurt emotionally/mentally/physically, then you will need to step in and remove her from the situation/place/people.

Answer 4

That is truly sad! It must seem to you that you & your cousin are drifting apart, & that to me would be agonizing if I were in the same position.
One thing I have learned recently, is that you can't control others, you can only control the things you do yourself. So there is nothing that anybody can tell you to try, that will "get" her to do anything.

Instead, continue to be close to her, so that she will be exposed to your positive influence. Accept her & her weird ways, but whenever she starts to behave in a way that you disagree with, just say "I'm sorry, I'm not into that," & excuse yourself, but part with plans to meet up later.

She may be experimenting with extreme behaviour, but if she truly has a strong moral character then that will win out over time. Especially if she see's that she is still loved & respected by those who are really important to her.

Try not to worry, it really doesn't cure anything. In fact if you worry enough it will make you sick.

Best of Luck!

Answer 5

Well, I'm pretty sure some controversy might strike by saying "Emo is Immoral" I think it is, but still. Anyways I don't know how to help a soul like that. She probably feels that she is not needed or something, thats most cases. Good luck though, I don't like to see people like that either.

Answer 6

yea the whole 'emo' thing is just a phase. as much as i love a hot guy in tight pants telling me about his troubles,(and believe me, I do) emo is just a phase... like teething. for most it comes with the emotions of being a teenager... If you think about it, the only emo adults are in their early 20s and are in a band or living that sort of lifestyle. just be there for your cousin so she can always talk to you. confrontation is your choice, and if you so choose... then just ask her about it. ask facts... and listen. ask her what draws her to the greusome stuff and why she likes tattoos and piercings... she will get over this emo stuff, but she wont get over you rejecting her... just hang in there.

Answer 7

Umm....why the heck are you shedding tears for her. She's expressing herself and learning about who she is. Just because she doesn't fit into the cookie cutter mold that you want her to, doesn't make anything that she's doing immoral, vulgar or unhealthy.

You're projecting your own taste onto her, and it isn't fair to either of you!!!

Most likely, she's going through a phase. She's going through a period of discovery, so lay off her already.

Answer 8

nicely, they're kin so talk with them the comparable way you will possibly the different kin member! do not enable the reality that they are emos make you sense forced to tip toe around them or you should be something you're actually not in hassle-free terms so which you do not offend them! talk with them approximately college or their plans for the destiny! merely via fact their emos, that doesn't do away with from the reality that they are those with plans! you're stunned how plenty you have in uncomplicated with them! enable the verbal replace bypass clearly! I assure you they are actually not making plans their conversations with you, so do not plan yours with them! Be the real you! solid success babe! :)

Answer 9

look at all those teenagers in the 80s with the huge hair and neon clothes. they grew out of it.
look at the teenagers in the 90s who lived in black and flannel and worshipped kurt cobain. they grew out of it.
shes a teenager. she may be having questions about her sexuality and doesnt want to discuss it. that or it seems to just be cool to kiss your chic friends with that age group. let her grow and find out who she is and what path she wants to go down.
regardless, as long as shes doing good in school, staying off drugs, and not hurting herself dont bring it up unless she does. its amazing what a few years of age will do. and if her parents arent worried about the clothes etc then theres not much else you can do seeing as how mommy and or daddy supply the cash to buy the clothes and jewlery.

Answer 10

Some people grow out of it, and for some people it becomes a lifestyle. My only plan in this situation would be to find her some non-emo friends she can relate to, and most importantly, find ways to indirectly show her how gay being emo really is.