The brother of a close friend of mines mother in law recently passed away (appx 3 weeks ago) she gave a card and I did not. I wish that I had sent one a couple of weeks ago but I will give one this week. I have not spoken to them since I heard and want to express my condolence. Is there an appropriate time to send a card regarding someones loss, and should there even be a date put on? It seems like a stupid question to ask but I want to be sensitive and proper. Thank you for any advice.
2006-09-13 17:40:46 · 9 answers · asked by William C 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The date isn't so important. I would just write something that states at this time you are thinking of them and their family & are sending your prayers and best wishes. (if you are christian) Offer to be of any help if they should need you and keep it short. There are many ecard sites that can give you ideas of what to write also. Basically, keep it short, wish them well, let them know they are in your prayers and thoughts & sign with love or god bless.
Everyone sends cards & flowers etc as soon as it happens then they go back to their lives and the family is left grieving a long time afterwards. The best thing you can do is to send a card now but remember them in a month or two and offer to do something nice for them then.
2006-09-13 17:52:22 · answer #1 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you need not ever date a sympathy card. The date will seldom be forgot by the one receiving the card, if it was in response to someone who was close to them. If they were not close, the date won't matter. About dates tho-after the death of a loved one people who were close or related to the deceased struggle very hard to cope with and try to shake off their pain which will in time get to be less. By no means is the passed person forgotten 3 weeks later or any time at all, but by this time most survivors have scounged up some blocking mechanisms, things to keep their minds off their grief a little and they are in a recovery process that takes a long time. Cards that come late are fresh reminders that dig into the old wound again refreshing it anew, which is not to say that the later cards are not appreciated or welcome-they are and it makes people just a little bit glad to know their loved one was loved by so many others--but please get the card out asap -always asap and just put in it whatever is in your heart.
2006-09-13 18:23:24 · answer #2 · answered by beverly p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is never too late to send a card to send your condolences. Your kindness will be much appreciated and there is no need for a date to be on the card. Just send a heartfelt note to let him know that you are thinking of him at this difficult time. When someone close to you passes away, the cards and phone calls are a welcome distraction, it's when the cards, phonecalls and visits stop that you are left feeling lonely and then the grief really hits you. Keep those little notes and phone calls coming, he will appreciate them more than you know.
2006-09-13 19:58:51 · answer #3 · answered by Cynthia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it depends on the card, what was said on it and what was written in it. However, if people wrote of prayers to false gods or talk of "healing/comfort energies", these things are specifically non-Christian and I can understand the hesitation to sign (as this could imply condoning such wicked practices). Further, any consolation card ignoring the ultimate value of Christ is deceptive in that without Jesus, all things are meaningless. It could have been that the secular nature of the card, denying mention of Christ when He was most needed, was reason enough not to sign.
2016-03-27 00:39:42 · answer #4 · answered by Cynthia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No date. Sign, and avoid writing in any cliche's about sory about your loss, or my deepest condolences. That stuff was overused. I usually try to mention some fond memory, or barring that, let them know that I am there if they need anything. Make it perosnal. Letting your friend know that they have a freind if they need soething is better than a thousand cards of empty cliche.
2006-09-13 17:50:43 · answer #5 · answered by mresl2005 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i was just thinking the same thing yesterday when i found out that a friend's father passed away. i wrote in the card:
we are very sorry to hear of your loss.
if there is anything we can do, pls let us know.
keeping you in our thoughts and prayers...
it sounded cold and awkward to me but i didn't know what else to say.
'hope to hear some good answers.
2006-09-13 17:50:24 · answer #6 · answered by enroute_bc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no date is needed. Simply express that you just heard about the event and want to express your sympathy at their loss.
2006-09-13 17:44:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessary. Just write, "To so and so, My deepest condolences for your loss" and sign your name..
2006-09-13 20:09:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's nice of you to think about it. Keep it simple. Just say something like, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your mother in law. Please know you're in my thoughts, and sign your name.
2006-09-13 18:12:27 · answer #9 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋