ok so my best friend is gay and his "boyfriend" kind of stopped talking to him and didnt return any of his calls when he went to school which is only an hour away. Well the boyfriend and i are friends as well and he keeps calling me to hang out. I made plans with him to go get coffee tomorrow night but my best friend does not want me hanging out with him since he hurt him so bad. He wants me to tell him off when i see him tomorrow and just let him know how much he hurt my best friend. The only thing is i dont want to lose my friendship with this guy but at the same time my best friend and i would do anything for each other and i feel like i would be betraying him if i hang out with him any advice?
2006-09-13 17:32:14 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Damn this sure is stupid.
2006-09-13 17:36:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is a sticky question and situation to be in.
First off their are several underlying questions that have to be asked and this may not even help you out. Since you are friends with both. My first thing is who was your freind first. Secondly you dont need to take sides with either one. It is never any good to get yourself in the middle of this situation becasue it will hurt you more than them. If you side too much more with one than the other you could wind up risking that friend. The other thing that could happen is if anything you do one way or another can be construed by one or both parties and you could risk lose both as friends. My advice is this be nice about it but say you dont want to be in the middle. It is not fair to you to be in the middle of a relationship dispute of any kind and if you are my friend you will understand this. Second if this does not seem feasible to you what i would do is talk to both of them separately and say right now i am not going to be in the middle and i will just take a break from both of you. This is a hardline approach. But it might work. I would definitly go with the first thing i suggested. Bottom line is you should not have to be in the middle of their dispute and both of them should understand this. Of course no matter what you do one or the other could get mad at you. Just be very diplomatic about it and maybe things will get better. Good Luck
2006-09-14 00:46:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm gay myself. So I know how your best friend feels. I would talk to both of them and try to sort the problem out between both of them. Threaten them a little. Tell them that if they keep being bithces to each other you'll never talk to them. Just make it sound good. I mean come'on it can'y be that hard.
2006-09-14 00:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your best friend is putting you in the middle of a situation between him and his ex. They need to settle things between them. If you try to mediate, you could end up with both of them mad at you for all your good intentions.
I'd honestly tell the best friend that he needs to resolve his problems by himself. You'll support him and you care for him but you make your own decisions as to who you'll see. It will be rough for you because the best friend may see you as a traitor but that's his own problem. You need to take care of yourself and do what you want.
Insofar as the coffee date, just go and keep the conversation away from the broken relationship. As I said before, they'll have to deal with their problems, not you.
2006-09-14 00:39:21 · answer #4 · answered by eriurana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't let the boyfriend try to manipulate you and get you to hang out with your more just for revenge.....i would tell him that you feel like you're in the middle of it and it's difficult because you like both of them...however if your "best" friend has been truly your best friend and friends with him 1st,,,then your loyalty belongs to him 1st...actually you should both of them this...but don't let them be your puppet or messenger...that's way too childish..of course breaking up hurts and you want the other person to hurt too to make you feel better..tell them that you understand that HOWEVER you will not let either of them to use you that way...and since you enjoy boths company...keep it separate but make sure it's fair share time....that's the only way yo ucan keep sane...
2006-09-14 00:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by TWISTER 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell each of your friends that you like them both and you will promise to keep each friendship separate and not discuss the other one but it's not fair to put you in the middle of their problems with each other.
2006-09-14 00:51:05 · answer #6 · answered by A. D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats a complicated situation you are in. Sooner or later you will have to pick, so obviously you should do what your best friend wants.
2006-09-14 00:37:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IWOULD LET YOUR FRIEND KNOW THAT YOU VALUE HIS
FRIENDHSIP BUT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO BE FRIEND
WITH OTHER PEOPLE AS WELL. IM SORRY THAT HE GOT
HURT BY THE OTHER PERSON. BUT THAT SHOULD NOT
BE A ISSUES WITH YOU TWO. HE BROKE UP WITH HIM
NOT YOU.YOU SHOULD BE FRIEND WITH ANYONE THAT
YOU LIKE IF HE REALLY IS A FRIEND HE WILL ACCEPT
THAT. YOU NOT TRYING TO HURT HIM.
2006-09-14 00:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by LUCKYSTAR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geeez, am I glad I am not in your shoes. I guess what I would do in that situation is tell both of them that I pick my own friends and leave it at that.
2006-09-14 00:36:25 · answer #9 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay clear, eventually you will have to make a choice. Choose the long time friend !!!
2006-09-14 00:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Jima 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to let him know the problem lays with the them not you and he shouldnt be dragging you between them. read tips on relationships and more on this site
2006-09-14 00:34:53 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋