What do I do about my new relationship? Do I give up hope?

Question

He is recently divorced, and now after meeting and seeing eachother realizes that he still loves his ex-wife. She is with someone else now but still hopes she'll come back. The problem for me is my heart is now attached...what should I do? He is an incredible guy...and has many fine qualities. As we got to know eachother I found that we have much in common and feel he is worth any effort...do I be patient or give up? Anyone have advise...It took me a long time to move on from my ex...so I do understand.

Answer 1

This is why I steer clear of recently divorced men. The fact that he is telling you (after getting involved with you) that "he realizes that he still loves his ex-wife." I don't believe that for a second. If it took another woman to make him realize he loves his wife, I wouldn't want to be with a man like that. My guess is that he told you that, but what he really wants to do is see other women and avoid the committment issue with you. I wouldn't put all my eggs in this guy's basket no matter how wonderful you think he is.
The last thing in the world a recently divorced guy wants to be in is a serious relationship. Sorry. I call em like I see em.

Answer 2

Let him go! He will hurt you really badly and the longer you stay in the situation the worse it will hurt when he dumps you or cheats on you with his wife. Back out and tell him to work out his issues with his wife and contact you when he is able to give YOU his full heart. Don`t be his rebound relationship and don`t let him have the control or think he can have both of you. Respect yourself enough to know that you should be all a man needs. Anyone who flat-out tells you they are in love with someone else is emotionally unavailable and will use and hurt you. When a person is freshly coming out of a relationship, especially marriage, they should take time and be alone for a while to let themselves heal. Starting a new relationship when you`re not over your last one is just asking for trouble! You should know that seeing as how you have been through that yourself. When you were trying to get over your ex and still wanted him, can you say that you could have truly given your full love effort and attention to a new man? You would think that being with someone new would help to get over it faster and make you feel the things you are missing from that other person, but that`s not how it goes.

Answer 3

Rebound relationships -- he is feeling needy, I'd guess, and hoping for validation that you give him. Cynically I'll say you are just a handy lover to have while he is in transition.

However -- hope must spring eternal. I'd let it play out. He sounds like a nice guy and if he moves on it won't be a mean-spirited thing. Give it every chance, but know -- it's a trial period at best.

Answer 4

there are two things to choose from.. its either letting him have the happiness that he wants, though i dont know how he could get it, or helping him move on. if you help him move on, he will appreciate you more and he will be able to accept the fact that he and his ex-wife are really over. make him feel that he deserves a second chance to love and that second chance is with you. nothing should stop you from doing what you want to do because if you let something stop you, you would never achieve anything. good luck!

Answer 5

you don't want to be with someone that wants to be with someone else.....even if you stick with it, it's only a matter of time until he wants out. If his heart isn't in it, that's the way is, give yours to someone that will cherish it, you'll be happier. Think of ot this way.... If you stay, won't you always wonder if he's thinking of the other girl? Thank him for being honest & be on your way.

Answer 6

I think you need to be patient if you want him. He needs to forget about his ex and that will take some time.

Answer 7

giving up is a good thing to try