I have been hanging out with a guy named Bobby for a few weeks now. My parents just found out about him now that I've gone to college. I'm 18 and he's 24...not the best situation, however it works for us. I know I messed up by lieing to my stepdad about him when he first found out. I knew they wouldn't like him. Now that my mother knows, I told her the real story.
I don't want my parents to meet him because I know they won't like him. They insist on me giving them "answers," but I don't know exactly what they have a problem with. I'm 18-years-old and have never had a relationship. All I want is for them to not be so judging and give me some slack. I'm a good kid. I work hard in school and run with the right crowds.
Can anyone help me analyze this or possible give me tips on what to say or expect in our next chat? Thank you so much!
2006-09-13 17:29:25 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
1. They have a right to ask questions and expect answers, afterall, they are you parents. That said, this does not mean that they control your life or your relationships. However, if you ever expect them to trust you, you need to be completely open and honest with them.
2. If this is your first relationship, then it is natural for them to worry, especially considering the age difference.
3. Explain to them that you value their advice, and realise that this is a difficult situation. Explain that you are being very careful and prudent, that you aren't having sex, and that your taking your time to make sure that things work out for the best.
2006-09-13 17:34:38 · answer #1 · answered by karkov48 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are scared. There is something obviously wrong with this guy because you have gone out of your way to hide him from your family. Think about why that is.
The problem they have is that 24yr old men have a very different agenda than a 18yr old girl. Your folks know that.
Start over. Bring him home to introduce him. Apologize to your folks for lying. If you can't do that, then something is wrong and you know it, so stop playing games and get rid of him.
2006-09-13 18:19:31 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know your parents won't approve of him, I would be careful. Parents usually have a tendency to be right. Usually a 24 yr old with an 18 yr old is a red flag because older men tend to look for women who are "new" to relationships to seduce them easier into bed.
2006-09-13 17:31:37 · answer #3 · answered by zebo007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hey mammi in jus like you and truth be told you have to let your parents meet him even if they dont like him. maybe you might want to catch him up to speed on wht not to say and wht do wear, buy as a gift, you kno brown nose alittle. you have to realize that parents have raised you for forever and to them they know whts best for you better then you kno for yourself. and sometimes they're right. but you'll never kno until you bring the secret to the light. another thing is dont forget that family knew you before Bobby. family will be there after Bobby. make the right decision honey.
2006-09-13 17:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by corney b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok Goody, If they want 2 meet him so bad let them. He CANT be that bads if you like him soooo much, right? Try to take what they say into concideration maybe you dont want them meeting him because you know inside that hes not good enough for you or your parents, but remember thats for you 2 find out 4 sure. Hope I helped....... ♥ Ush
2006-09-13 17:36:26 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Ush ♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and say basically what you have said here. Tell them they should trust you. If my 18 yr old daughter came to me with a new b/f I may not like him but as long as he was a good kid I would trust her judgement. Honesty between you and your parents is best..
2006-09-13 17:34:38 · answer #6 · answered by KELLY H 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You voiced this very well. There are allot of us out there who have survived parents below the curve so to say, lol. I want to applaud you for your humility in giving her the benefit of the doubt, and still being there for her. You have a loving heart. I just hope that like me you do not look for unconditional love from a bf. Your way to young to be looking for the love you didn't get in your childhood here and turning to a bf looking for it. Boys are just that boys and even in college they are goofy, poor, and exchanging gfs for a better one. Please join a church and a youth group and then get that specific education you need for the exact job you want to support yourself with. Be dogged about it. And open your heart to making Christ Jesus first in your life. ps (this mom will continue being needy) Just know I think your Great and I am rooting for you!
2016-03-27 00:39:12 · answer #7 · answered by Cynthia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all, if they are like most parents, no-one will be good enough for their daughter...look from there view..I know, I have a great son, 18 years old christian, hangs out with other christians...never been in trouble, I want to know about every girl that he names....and I do my own analyzing and have my opinions of wether she is good enough for him...you worry that your kids will get mixed up with the wrong crowd...there is quite an age difference, and they may worry about you getting hurt....
2006-09-13 18:37:45 · answer #8 · answered by jeannie_w_32 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya u should hv told parents about him from start. its ok just tell bf to be kewl and conservative impression that he is a good person and WILL be a college grad. Im sure everything will fall into place once bf is introduced to family and shown he is a nice guy. good luck
2006-09-13 17:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by Necat T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, listen to your parents. if they do not like him it is for a reason. im 26, my first marriage fell apart. my parents did not like him and told me not to do it. but i did cuz i thought i knew better. when your family doesnt agree with who you are its cuz they are outside the relationship and can see things more clearly. trust what your parents say
2006-09-13 17:32:36 · answer #10 · answered by jobugg257 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋