Can someone help me thorough this grieving process?

Question

Only once in my life before today had to go to a funeral for a very close friend. It was expected with my other friend though because she had no kidneys. This one came as a complete shock to me. She died on Friday today was her viewing and funeral now she is off to be cremated. I cried all week at the thought that she had died last week and was just sitting there in the funeral home. I went as a family member because I have been with her ex brother in law and all of her neices and nephews and her own son call me aunt. I have been with their uncle for about eight years and everyone knows who I am. Everyday my friend Vicky would call me and would say hey whats up *****. Or what are you doing and we would talk for hours sometimes. I couldn't visit her very often because I don't drive because I have seizures and would have to get a ride over to her house. I already miss her so bad, I can't stop crying. I couldn't even go to her wake after the funeral. I asked my nephew to bring

to bring me home. I am so exhausted just from being there all day and crying. I don't know how to get over the loss of the only friend that I ever had that I could talk to about anything at all. I keep waiting for my phone to ring and hear her voice but it doesn't happen. Can anyone help me. I am so sad.

I haven't been able to eat for almost three days now and I am making myself sick.

Answer 1

I'm so sorry you have to go through this loss. hugs for you! I lost my father a year and 3 months ago and i still cry every night because i am soo sad he is gone. I always wonder if he is gonna drive up and come knocking at my door to take me fishing or just to sit and chat. I think of him every single day. On fathers day i caught myself dialing his number to wish him a wonderful day and to tell him i loved him only to remember he is no longer here. I totally understand your pain, my dad was like my best friend and i will never get him back, but i will always have the memories and pictures in my mind of all the good and bad times. Its going to be very hard for you to get through this, i know, cause i still feel the same as when my father died more than a year ago. A friend of mine told me it will take years to get over the hurt.
All i can say is try to be strong, don't hide your hurt, if you have to cry, then cry. If your having a bad day just go with it, don't let people tell you you cant or should be over the loss of your friend. If you need to talk to someone I am here for you, if there is no one else. Feel free to send me an email or if you have messenger, IM me. I'm a great listener! Good luck to your healing process.

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Answer 2

Oh hunny i feel for you. One of my real good friends just pasted last december. It was a great shock. Dave was always changing his cell phone number because he had a girlfriend that was like a fatal attraction. Well I hadent talked to him in a few months because I had moved away and he had change numbers again. So I called his ex wife ( they we still good friends ) sandy and she told me well I just could'nt believe it. It was an accidental shooting, but what a shock my heart i swear actually hurt. I am still not over it. I have also lost both of my parents who were my best friends and that will never diminish. When you get yourself busy doing something you will take your mind off for a while and also try to remember the good times. We are alot alike because i am crying right now!!! so silly. P.SA. I love my dog so much I think about her only living 12 or 13 yrs.and i start crying. Shes only 2! Just think about what you talked about and laughed about and that will comfort you. Wish i was there to give you a big hug you need it...........Flo P.S.S> if you need someone to talk to my email is [e-mail]

Answer 3

i do no longer could plenty practice with intense relationships, yet from what I incredibly have found out is that the grieving technique is nearly a curler coaster, some days would be good, some days would be undesirable, yet you may procedures to settle for issues how they are and flow on, 24 remains an rather youthful age so do no longer concern approximately no longer looking the remarkable guy or woman. there is often going to be discomfort after a relationship ends, and your strategies will lead you to have confidence that she became a great guy or woman and you will bear in mind all the best circumstances.... despite if it ended so which you will discover ways to settle for it, you basically could provide it time. some people say: exercising, "have some one evening's" after a pair weeks, do what you enjoyed doing as a single guy or woman, make a catalogue of why she isn't meant for you.... life will go on for you, wounds heal and could create scars yet do scars harm once you touch them... they shouldn't... Time will mend your heart and you will locate somebody with an greater connection

Answer 4

Sometimes the normal grieving process becomes more complicated. Sleep and appetite disturbances, reduced sex drive, and marked preoccupation with thoughts about the deceased may be signs of increased difficulty in dealing with the death.

Sometimes our feeling of loss may seem so tragic and pervasive that we believe we can no longer go on. Such feelings of despair and hopelessness may even lead us to think about suicide. Sometimes because of special life circumstances, our grieving may be marked by confusion because we seem not to be feeling how we think we should. Perhaps we feel relief or maybe even a hint of joy. Regardless of the specific feeling, if we are feeling contrary to the way that we think we should feel, then confusion and guilt may arise. If you are experiencing some of these problems, you may need some special help.

Counseling can give you an opportunity to talk about the lost relationship with all of its ups and downs. Sometimes even talking about parallels to previous relationships with unhappy outcomes can free us to move forward with life and new love relationships.

Working through the many feelings surrounding the death of a loved one is crucial. It is important to know that no matter how badly we feel, we can overcome the grief and can go on to live full and happy lives again. At this time, however, we may need a little more help than we usually do. Even the use of a mild medication prescribed by a psychiatrist can be helpful in this kind of situation.

If your distress is persistent and is disrupting your life and your ability to carry on basic functions, please get help! Don't keep yourself isolated and alone with your pain!

Answer 5

I wish I had the power to say something to make you feel better, but I'm afraid I don't. If it were that easy, none of us would ever have to go through something like this, and we wouldn't have any character or inner strength.

I wish I could say I understand, but I'm also glad to say that I don't. I have never lost a very close friend. I don't know. These things happen, but we forget they can happen to us. That's what makes it so hard, but...yes, things do happen, so you just gotta live on.

Because life does go on for you, and those around you. It kinda sucks, but...you know, you're lucky. Remember good times, because at least you have that left. Celebrate that she lived, rather than that she's gone, because it's unhealthy to get too upset about something that's gone.

Acceptance is key. Again, I know that mindset is hard to achieve, but you've just gotta realize...there are more reasons to be happy about your friend than be sad about. Maybe more things to be happy about. Be happy you knew her, happy she was there...You know.

Make sure you hang out with lots of people you love. It'll make you feel SO much better.

Answer 6

I'm sorry for your loss. Sounds as if you both had a good relationship while she was here. Don't you think she'd be happy knowing that you remember the good times and smile instead of the bad times and crying. Don't get me wrong, there is a grieving period, but I'm sure your friend would want you to go on with your life and be happy.

Answer 7

We all grieve for the loss of loved ones. The mourning process is meant to help you get through the loss. It is not meant for you to forget. We mourn because of the remembrance. We must understand and realize, death is a part of life that ends our time here. Some of us believe in the afterlife, the time of life after death. If this is you, then realize, all is not lost. You may meet again. If you believe in the life of the spirit, or soul, then know, that it never ceases, but continues on, somehow. Mourn her death, if you choose, but, do not allow it to encompass your life. Be joyful she has gone on. There is nothing but goodness in her passing on. Those of us who are still here are the ones we should be crying for, if you think aout it. Your friend has to suffer no more in this life. She has entered a higher plane!

Answer 8

You will need to grieve you loss. There's no getting around it. As each day goes by you will not be as overwhelmed as you are now. Read books on grieving and go to a grief counsellor if you can. Write in journal daily your thoughts and feelings - even write as you're talking to the person you've lost. You'll get through this. It's the shock you're in right now.

Answer 9

i can relate www.wildalien.com/josh this happened to me almost 2 years ago. death is a sad and hard time expectually for those you ar eleft behind, my best advice would be to talk about it , holding it in only will make it worse. everyone grieves in a different way and go throught the stages differently and at different times. you will get though this , just know that you are not alone. sorry about your lose and best of luck to you

Answer 10

Calm down and relax. Look at the situation and cause of her death then determine if it's best that she passed instead of suffering. Remember, when you pass on you will be with her again and she will always be in your heart/memories forever. I have lost too many relatives to count and it will never get easier to lose just easier to move on.