I work with a lady in her mid 20's. She was invited to dinner by a man who is a friend but who she knows he is interested in her. She only likes him as a friend, so she invited 6 of her girlfriends on this date so she would not be alone with him, then told the guy what she had done. He agreed because he really likes her. She did not see anything wrong with what she had done. We told her this was WRONG; and unfair to the guy. Does anyone have anything else to add?
2006-09-13 16:03:34 · 6 answers · asked by candace b 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It's not unfair to the guy... unless he's being asked to foot the bill. If he wants to get closer to her he'll have to work with her terms. Plus intimacy is something that's best earned slowly and by degrees.
It's a great opportunity for him to impress her friends. And imagine if one of them started liking him... the original girl might start seeing him differently out of simple jealousy.
2006-09-13 16:08:59 · answer #1 · answered by RazzleDazzle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully all 7 women don't expect this one guy to pick up the entire tab! That would be REALLY rude!
If she wants to date this (or any) man, but is uncomfortable with being alone with somebody (for whatever reason), then she could always double-date with some close friends, even with some married friends. If that isn't an option, maybe she can arrange to meet her date for lunch or an afternoon coffee/dessert. She can drive herself, and pick up her own tab. That takes a lot of pressure off of her to "reciprocate" physically (for his taking her out).
If the man in question really feels he is being treated unfairly, he needs to speak up. No real relationship can grow, unless there is honest and open communication. Each person must have their own backbone!
2006-09-13 23:10:03 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong if she doesn't even like him like that. I would do the same thing. Maybe he can hook up with one of her friends. It's not her fault the guy is infatuated and can't take a hint. Why should she subject herself to being alone with him when she doesn't like him? Just to be nice? That would be just leading him on more. She's trying to give him a hint by treating hin like one of her friends. It's NOT wrong in the least bit. So lay off. She doesn't like him and nothing is going to make her. Especially not being alone with him. That will only make her nauseous. See you don't even want to go on a date with him.
2006-09-13 23:11:42 · answer #3 · answered by tumadre 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To invite SIX of her girlfriends to that date with him was definitely unfair. It would have been decent of her to tactfully decline his invitation for dinner. Alternatively, if she really wanted to get to know more about him then she should have taken just one person along with her to make herself feel at ease. What she did was WRONG.
2006-09-13 23:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by yuvan53 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is not wrong at all, if he makes a move just explain that she isn't interested and that he was invited as a friend like the others.
2006-09-14 10:22:28 · answer #5 · answered by anon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong. If she only likes him as a friend she should tell him so he can move on.
2006-09-13 23:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by CWW 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋