Where I live, it's all about this whole "thing" where black girls just HAVE to date a black guy. Me, I like white guys, black guys, Italian, Puerto Rican, but it's just not allowed. I mean, currently, I like a black guy, but he has a girlfriend(of course I wouldn't ask him our or anything. That's being a homewrecker), but she's puerto rican. And I've heard of him dating a puerto rican girl, or a white girl, but never black. I don't understand it. I mean, I really don't want to say it, but I wish people would get over their freakin scaredness and just date someone out of their ethnicity where I live. And it's so annoying about the looks you get and the freakin hell you go through for likin a white guy. So can someone help me understand this?
2006-09-13 15:47:10 · 27 answers · asked by Shanteria I 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Stop living in the past. Anyone can be with whomever they would like. We need to stop all this negativity and see people for who they are inside.
2006-09-13 15:50:21 · answer #1 · answered by cramcram62 2 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I have heard that it's more of a social stigma with black women that they don't choose to date white men because it's not accepted. Maybe it's how they're raised, or an inherent thing that black women are trying to preserve their race? Black guys don't seem to be under that same social restriction. I don't want to sound racist, because I'm not (I'm white), but I do see your point. I don't know if it's just your neighborhood or the whole country.
Remember "The Jefferson's" on TV? The neighbors, the black woman married to the white man, was a real society eye-opener and they did that on purpose to illustrate that it was all right to have a relationship with another "race." [actually we're all the same "race" or we'd never be able to procreate between the different "species."]
If you meet a guy, black or white, Asian, Hispanic, etc., and you really like him, I wouldn't care what anybody said about the color of his skin. You need to develop a thick skin to get over the comments and looks.
Good luck!
2006-09-13 15:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by Hello Dolly 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It all boils down to ignorance feeding on stupidity and begeting more ignorance. Is it racist? Maybe depends on who exactly is talking the trash. Some people just don't like change .
I am a white guy from south Texas, when I was younger black guys dated white girls at my school alot, some of them did end up married very little was said about it other than "its just a phase " ect ect.... A friend of mine who was white started dateing a black girl and wow...the controversy!!! They are married now (with 4 gorgous children too!!) and they still get trash about it. Justin says the hard part is the stares at first, but he also says it seperates the real friends from the posers quickly. Any white/hispanic/ect man tough enough to stand beside you through the rainstorm that would follow is a tough man. You just have to be able to handle it too cause your gonna get as much as he does.
2006-09-13 15:59:42 · answer #3 · answered by deethsnake 1 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Its the whole idea that when a black woman dates a white man, its almost as if she's trying to better than the average ghetto black man.
2006-09-14 16:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Geez........do black women really date white guys???? Wouldn't know that from the area I live in. Hmmm, wonder what I've missed all my life? (oh well, too old now to find out)
Learned something new on here today...thanks!
2006-09-13 15:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are two sides to a circle...indise looking out and outside lookinh in....first you inside...you notice everyone and also notice no one(another words u only notice people the ones that hv acknowledged you) when dating a white guy. Now when u date a black guy, all of a sudden u r noticing everyone and their dead grandmother staring at you. its ur imaginataion.
Now outside...we americans are raised on imagry..if we something or people that is pleasant to our eyes, we smile and accept...if we dont approve, we frown.
So welcome to life. we all have a desired prefernece in whom we like to date or sexually attracted to. Either hv fun with life or drown.
2006-09-13 15:58:04 · answer #6 · answered by Necat T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am so glad you asked this question ,
there isnt anything wrong with dating different people, i just say my sistah dont allow it to change who you are . dont act any different to fit into anyones box that they have for you break the mold without changing. utilize this opportunity to teach the ones you date how elegant,how beautiful,how smart and alluring we are in our own skin not trying to be white or anything else. and that will send more ethnicities to your door cuz it'll be the pride you have in yourself that they see. AND PLEEEZE DONT DIE YOUR HAIR BLONDE unless you already like it that way GOD BLESS YOU
2006-09-13 15:56:13 · answer #7 · answered by twiggy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I believe that you can be with who makes you happy... but so many issues make it hard for people to be that way. I would date and marry a black man but my brother would have a heart attack. I don't care what he thinks, I do what I want... and he has good insurance, if he had a heart attack, he would go to a good hospital.
2006-09-13 15:51:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
are you a sheep ( yes.. ), as you lack the courage and strength to do what you feel is right ( go for it, date a white guy ), but for fear on not fitting in you cave in to others demands, you are not and individual. but a follower. no one can force you much less make you date a certain race.. you do it willingly.
what you face is not unique to your race, it no different in Asian and Hispanic populations where you are expected to do the same. deep inside many wish they could go against the mob mentality that hold everyone in fear.
one day when you grow up and you get wiser ( and trust me most of your so called "friends" who pressure you to do as they do because they were pressure to do the same , they will not be around much less your friends for life ) you will seek how weak you were, how childish this mentality is.
gangs operate on the very same principal, do as they do, pressure of anyone who can subvert there power by fear and intimidation.
people respect those who are truly individual, and this means choosing your own mate in life, be it what ever race, religion and your career choice as well, as most are sheep in life and know they will be stuck in ruts the rest of there life because they never got the guts to be there own person.
those who say stay inside the color line are weak minded who say society at large will be cruel to you and your children, they are as racists as those who fly the union jack and weak the KKK uniform, as they cave in to the will of other rather than be a free person for the sake of comfort. saying that a child deserves to learn about one cultures, well that nice, but at what point does culture smack of divide and conquer? if a given culture is so great then you have to say whites are doing it right because they have so much wealth, but you can't as that's not the yardstick we hold ourselves up to as humans. indeed you can say white re failure due to exceeding high divorce race for white verse any other group, so any argument of keep it in the color line for the sake of staying together fall flat.
communication, understanding of likewise goals and other aspects of what keep a marriage going, if you have to focus on race, then you all ready well on your way to divorce, race should NEVER be a factor, who the person is should....the majority divorce over money, not race, not cheating.... money,,
usually one side spends ( usually women ) and the other side earns... resentment builds because of it.
you did not mention your age.. i would suspect it's very young for you to even ask this question.. for one i am glad you asked it... it takes courage to question the system, be it government or your community in which you live in....
when you get more education.. and the color lines disappear.. and you pull your own income.. and you have your own place... then you should seriously consider dating... other than that dating early on tends to kill off your dreams and aspirations as it will ply for your attention.
2006-09-13 16:39:54 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i say date who eva u want it shouldn't madder who it is or what color he or she is i want to dat a white girl but i just can't find tha one that's my type and i'm a black guy i've been single for about 2 years now ye ai know it's sad but back to u yea don't worry about what other people say u do what u do aight.
2006-09-13 15:55:16 · answer #10 · answered by Robert W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋