we have been invited to a 50th b'day in which we were asked to include a check (made out to party giver) with our rsvp. is this offensive or am i just out of touch?
2006-09-13 15:14:21 · 24 answers · asked by fastrockket 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
it will be held at a restaurant. guests are asked to send a $50 each.
2006-09-13 15:35:28 · update #1
Oh my goodness, yes, that is EXTREMELY offensive.
There is no polite way to invite people to take THEMSELVES out to dinner!
Decline the invitation.
2006-09-15 16:27:15 · answer #1 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What? No those people are wacked out of thier tree. Attending would only encourage the downfall of civilization, so don't go! It would only make sense if the party was a fundraiser for a charity, and even then donations should be voluntary and not a compulsory fee.
Ok, I read your details. I assume- hope- the money is supposed to be for the restaurant bill, but it's still really tacky and doesn't make sense. When a birthday dinner is held at a restaurant, it is usually assumed that the guests will pay thier own bills, and maybe offer to all chip in for the birthday person. That dosen't mean the birthday person can collect ahead of time. What if you go and order much less than fifty dollars worth of food and drink? Is that fair? No, it's a ridiculous way to arrange things. Besides there is still supposed to be a reason why we say "giving a party" not "taking a party".
2006-09-13 15:25:46 · answer #2 · answered by mj_indigo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i have never heard of someone holding a party but expect the attendees to pay for the pleasure of the evening, unless its for some sort of charity.
i'm surprise they would ask for people to do this, its just not the done thing, if your holding the party YOU pay for it, as its your choice to hold the party in the first place, not everyone elses!
You have mentioned about it being held at a restaurant it still doesn't matter as it's there choice to have the party in the first place, if its the cost of the whole thing then they should have had it at home where the cost will be cheaper or rent out one of those tent things for your back yard.
can you imagine asking people going to weddings to start paying a set amount for attending whether they stay for the whole thing or not, despite the fact that people will give them presents and money anyway lol
2006-09-14 03:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by anon 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is totally inappropriate. I'd rather stay home. When someone has a party, an invited guest should never pay! I hope this helps.
2006-09-14 03:43:18 · answer #4 · answered by organic gardener 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How much are they asking for????? I might be "out of touch" too. But I find this offensive. I could understand if it was for booze,but just to defray cost????? NO! I wouldn't go! and I would write a note that I found this offensive too. If it's a party,I always understood that a guess does not pay. They INVITED you.
2006-09-13 15:24:11 · answer #5 · answered by whataboutme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Any event for which you are asked to pay admission becomes a fundraiser or a restaurant. I suggest that you not attend, claiming a prior engagement or something of that nature, and arrange a different time to celebrate the person's birthday with them.
2006-09-13 15:23:57 · answer #6 · answered by mdnhntrss04 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The party giver has the right to ask for some money up front. It may be to reserve a special place, or entertainment for the party.
BUT you also have the right to ask them what the money is to be used for. They should not be offended by a simple inquiry.
2006-09-13 15:49:28 · answer #7 · answered by RazzleDazzle 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps this is a new way to give a party and the ideal sounds good. This way you are sure to get a birthday gift cause people come to your party and eat all your food and tear up the indide of your house and leave. Getting the money will also help with the cleaning and any damages done. I like this question and perhaps may try it.
2006-09-13 15:36:06 · answer #8 · answered by JoJoBa 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm a poor college student so when my friends and I throw parties we ask for donations to cover costs (minus our fair share) and stop collecting money when we reach our goal. In the event of a birthday or night out, everyone pays but the person whose birthday it is.
2006-09-14 06:01:53 · answer #9 · answered by MaL 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think the hosts should be prepared to pay for the party. If you don't feel you can pony up the dough, feel free to refuse the invitation.
2006-09-14 18:34:15 · answer #10 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very offensive. Send a card, or better yet send a card and let them know you made a donation in their name to your favorite charity, be sure to actually make the donation :)
2006-09-13 15:24:07 · answer #11 · answered by Teresa V 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋