My son's father asks him quite often if he is happy. We are separated and our son lives peacefully part-time with each of us. Now my son is asking me several times a day if I am happy. I point out that my happiness is not his responsibility. It seems to me that asking him that all the time is a really stressful thing to do to him and I would prefer that he stopped. What do you think, if you have children of a similar age?
2006-09-13 15:13:03 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
There is a lot of good advice here. Thank you. But SNOOP, I don't even know what you're talking about! What are you on about?
2006-09-13 15:35:41 · update #1
I raised 19 children. I believe that your son will not be hurt by being asked if he is happy. I think his father may over worry about the happiness of your child and that is why he asks so much. Talk to him and ask him if he would not do it so often because it is beginning to change your child's behavior. Tell him your child is now worried that you are not happy. He may understand and back off. If not I still think that from the way you pointed out that your happiness is not your child's responsibility you will help this child grow into a healthy adult.
2006-09-13 15:22:50 · answer #1 · answered by jusme 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why is everybody against the father?No right minded father ever wants to hurt or put pressure on a 3 year old.The reason he is asking him,because he feels guilty.He is worried about his son being anhappy,because his parents are not together.By hearing from the kids mouth that he is happy,makes him feel better and relived.Let's face it the divorce makes a huge impact on the children's lives and it makes them feel bad.i am a mother of two.When my children are happy,so MI,so is my husband.Mom....give the daddy a little bit of credit.He just wants to make sure if his son is happy.Sure you can talk to him about it.Whatever you son needs to be happy.
2006-09-14 02:03:33 · answer #2 · answered by avavu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe both parents should leave the child alone and let him be a child. If you or Dad think you're swaying a 3 yr old by putting him in an adult situation your are both wrong. I hear what you are asking and it's a shame you want to place blame instead of just loving the little boy!
2006-09-13 22:26:22 · answer #3 · answered by SNOOP 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think your son's father is an insecure idiot. Tell him to sing "If you're happy and you know it" with your son and then shut up! Three year olds have no concept of happiness beyond having their physical needs met. If they are fed, clothed, provided with stimulation in the form of toys and interaction, they are happy. Tell the father to grow up. If he continues to behave this way take him to mediation or back to court to have his mental status evaluated to determine custody and visitation. If there is no formal agreement, let him know that the visits will stop until he visits a mental health professional. He should not be taking out his insecurities on your child.
2006-09-13 22:30:16 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My 3 year old, asks me all the time these days; "how was your day". It is just the fact that they are understanding their emotions and they are practicing the new skills they've learned; the fact they can acknowledge it, and vocalize happiness; they want to share with mom (or dad), the most important person in the world to them. And, also, I ask my child often if he is happy; and he responds appropriately. They run the gamet in emotions, i would keep the beef between you and ex husband, or child's father seperate, from normal childhood development.
2006-09-13 22:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Perhaps you all should try family counseling. If this is your worst problem, it sounds like you guys are doing pretty well. But even a small thing can get big with kids. Tell his father how you feel, and see if he'll come with you. Perhaps you can use counseling to work out parenting issues before they become problems. Get a head start on adolescence. You can try local colleges or ask around to see if there are cheap, free, or sliding payment scales available.
2006-09-13 22:26:04 · answer #6 · answered by theobromo77 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell Dad to knock it off. When you made the decision to have a child together, you made an unspoken pact to do whatever is best for the child, regardless of the result of your relationship with each other. Sounds to me like Dad is digging for dirt, at the expense of your son's psyche.
2006-09-13 22:18:08 · answer #7 · answered by free2b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would eventually cause him to wonder if he should be unhappy (else, why the continuing question)....not to mention getting tired of being asked it over and over again...
Kids will generally make it known if they are unhappy...they don't tend to learn to hide their feelings/emotions until later in life...his father needs to drop the question and understand that if the child is not happy, he will likely voice it to one or both of you...
2006-09-13 22:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your X is competing with you for your sons affection and that's wrong, because he is pressuring the poor child. your X needs to grow up and stop putting that kind of pressure on a 3 year old.
2006-09-13 22:26:27 · answer #9 · answered by Nena 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
your husband should not be asking him that because it can lead to withdrawl and other serious psychological problems and health issues brought on by stress and being a child makes him more vulnerable to the negative effects of stress!!!!
2006-09-13 22:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by mya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋