My sister (her mother-in-law) wanted to throw her a baby shower, which my mother and my wife (from many miles away) wanted to attend. My niece hemmed and hawwed around, then finally agreed.
She's a Mormon. Her mother was at the baby shower (barely, since she didnt speak to anyone and left early). None of my niece's 5 sisters or mormon friends were there. The whole thing was kind of rushed through as if she just too busy for it.
Here's my read: She's planning another shower for her family and her mormon friends, and just agreed to this one to appease the "heathen" part of the family.
This is a young couple who have benefitted greatly from our family's generosity. If I find out she's just paying lip service to my wife, my mother, and my sister, after all the family has done for her.....I will tell her off in no uncertain terms and cut her out of our lives forever. Right or wrong?
2006-09-13 15:05:55 · 22 answers · asked by lucyanddesi 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Personally, I think you are justified in your thinking. My opinion. I'm old enough to understand where you are coming from.
2006-09-13 15:15:34 · answer #1 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
As a woman .... women are weird sometimes. I would follow suit with your mother and wife and see where it leads.....maybe she didn't want to have the baby shower yet because of how far along she is and she didn't want the stuff around if she were to lose it or maybe who ever lives far away from her could only do a baby shower on a certian day and that wouldn't work for her friends a church family.... just chew on that a little... but by all means if she is taking advantage kick her to the curb!
2006-09-13 15:13:30 · answer #2 · answered by M J 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Thank goodness she has an Aunt that cares. undecided what advice you pick. i think of you recognize.i might commence with a doctor and make sure her and the child are ok.Do you have a kin making plans Or. on your section? in keeping with risk the physician ought to propose someplace to take your niece for propose, counseling. I say you on the grounds that's sparkling her mom and dad are not plenty help for her. i might additionally call the police and do something with the 23 year previous. Any 23 year previous that ought to sleep with a 14 year previous infant is sick and not something greater then a rapist. He desires to be off the streets formerly his next sufferer. solid success and that i'm so sorry for you yet draw close in there. I particular desire your niece is accustomed to what a pal she has in you!
2016-10-14 23:41:37 · answer #3 · answered by lander 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound as though your family is being taken advantage of, rather, that they are pushing her into a relationship she isn't as interested in and possibly embarassing her with your "generosity."
What you mean to be "generosity" may seem to her to come with strings attached or to be "charity" and an embarassment to her.
But after all, it doesn't sound like she was absolutely thrilled at the idea of the baby shower by your family, more that she was finally talked into it. Maybe she feels that she has received more than she deserves from your family already, but whatever the reasons are, I think the family dynamic would get a lot easier if your side of the family gave this poor girl some room and let her come to you next time.
2006-09-14 05:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by JenV 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't sound like she has said anything or behaved in any offensive way. What it does sound like is that you are insecure about her religious beliefs, and don't feel good about yourself. By the way, the proper term is Latter Day Saint. I am sure she already had a shower planned with those people, and WAS trying to appease you, along with them. It may be why she was uncomfortable about it. She was trying to make all of you happy. You can't disown her! You aren't even related! lol
2006-09-13 15:15:05 · answer #5 · answered by alone1with3 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The answer is simple: Have as little to do with her as possible.
She's throwing a party, find something better to do that day that you, "simply can't get out of, sorry."
She calls your house feeling chatty, tell her you're, "expecting a very important business call, sorry."
She'll get the message that you don't appreciate her company and either change her ways or disown herself.
2006-09-13 15:56:48 · answer #6 · answered by RazzleDazzle 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't actually legally disown her, but I would pretty much sever your ties with her. Mormons are sort of creepy and weird anyway, and it sounds like she's being sort of selfish and rude, to say the least.
I don't know how often you contact her (visiting for all holidays, weekly phone calls, etc.) but if I were you, I'd save the visits and calls and emails only for the big holidays (Christmas and birthday) and that's it.
2006-09-14 08:24:55 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you disown the niece aren't you as well disowning the baby too? The new addition to your family is the focus here. You can choose your friends but you can't choose your family. Pick your fights. This is not worth getting upset over.
2006-09-13 15:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by geminiidream63 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are wrong and small-minded ....you want to disown someone for an insignificant event like a Baby shower?
Seems to me you want your nice to kowtow to you..."benefited greatly from our family's generosity" .... " after all the family has done for her" !!! I think you also have a problem with her Religion....you just mentioned it too many times!!!
2006-09-13 17:35:39 · answer #9 · answered by pro_and_contra 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I think it's unwise to cut people out of your life if they cause you offense. Pretty soon you'll look around and there will be no one there. People cause other people offense all the time; sometimes they do it knowingly, sometimes they don't. My advice to you is....don't make things like this lines in the sand. They are not that important.
2006-09-13 18:16:31 · answer #10 · answered by Esther 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your an idiot.
Would you rather she say, "No I dont want you to throw me a shower, f*ck off!"?
No she was trying to be nice to you as most people would, stop overreacting jackass.
BTW - Disown? You can only do that with your children
2006-09-13 15:08:58 · answer #11 · answered by moooooo 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋