i need quotes>>?

Question

I need some good quotes

Answer 1

you lazy slacker..... go find out by yourself.


WELL I GIVE YOU SOME:


My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.
Dame Edna Everage (1934 - )
- More quotations on: [Friendship]


She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
Groucho Marx (1890 - 1977)
It was one of those perfect English autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life.
P. D. James
- More quotations on: [Memory] [Autumn]

We should be taught not to wait for inspiration to start a thing. Action always generates inspiration. Inspiration seldom generates action.
Frank Tibolt

Answer 2

When humor goes, there goes civilization
Erma Bombeck

What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick
Anonymous

Good taste and humour...are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore
Malcolm Muggeridge

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you
Will Rogers

There's terrific merit in having no sense of humour, no sense of irony, practically no sense of anything at all. If you're born with these so-called defects you have a very good chance of getting to the top
Peter Cook

Why is abbreviated such a long word??????


Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?" Let us analyze that sentence for a moment. If you're a stickler, you probably think the singular verb "is" should have been the plural "are," but if you read it closely, you'll see I'm using the intransitive plural subjunctive tense. So the word "is" are correct
Unknown

A pun is the lowest form of humor -- when you don't think of it first
Oscar Levant

As you know, we're studying safe levels for arsenic in drinking water to base our decision on sound science, the scientists told us we need to test the water glasses of about 3,000 people. Thank you for participating
Unknown

Humor is just another defense against the universe

Answer 3

Some of my favorite "quotes" are from ficticious characters...

"Dyin' ain't much of a livin' boy!" - Josie Wales - The Outlaw Josie Wales
"Prediction? PAIN!" - Clubber Lang - Rocky III
"Now you boys lay down them guns...well, we're not just going to let you walk outta here...(Who is WE sucka?)...Smith, and Wesson, and Me!" - Inspector Harry Callihan - SFPD - Sudden Impact
"Murdock...I'm comin' to get YOU!" - John J. Rambo - Rambo: First Blood Part II
"Try to guess what I am now...I'm a zit, get it?" - Bluto - Animal House
"Anyone that runs, is a VC. Anyone that stands still, is a well-disciplined VC!" - Door Gunner - Full Metal Jacket

Answer 4

Avoid fruits and nuts. You are what you eat.
- Jim Davis

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
- Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)

"To have choice without having to choose ...
that's optionality!"
- Don Paragon

"The ones who wait will be the last"
- Don Paragon

Answer 5

"I do the best I can,
the very best I know how,
and I mean to keep doing it to the end.

If the end bring me out alright,
what is said against me will not amount to anthing.

If the end brings me out all wrong,
ten angels swearing I was right would make no difference.
-Abraham Lincoln

Answer 6

“If it is so natural to kill, why do men have to go into training to learn how?” -Joan Baez
“Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.” -Katherine Hepburn
“Time is the moving image of reality.” -Plato
“The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you are still a rat.” -Lily Tomlin
“You can no more win a war than you can win an earthquake.” -Jeannette Rankin
“Keep breathing.” -Sophie Tucker
“To love without criticism is to be betrayed.” -Djuna Barnes
“If the world were a logical place, men would ride side-saddle.” -Rita Mae Brown
“People on horses look better than they are, people in cars look worse.” -Marya Mannes
“General notions are generally wrong.” -Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
“Reality is a crutch for people who can not cope with drugs.” -Lily Tomlin
“Sanity is a cozy lie.” -Susan Sontag
“Self-love depressed becomes self-loathing.” -Sally Kempton
“You would be surprised how much it costs to look this cheap.” -Dolly Parton
“Life is something that happens to you while you are making other plans.” -Margaret Miller
“Friendship is the finest balm for the pangs of despised love.” -Jane Austen
“Love conquers all things except poverty & toothache.” -Mae West
“We cease loving ourselves if no 1 loves us.” -Madame DeStael
“If you have never been hated by your child, you have never been a parent.” -Betty Davis
“If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament.” -Florynce Kennedy
“Goddamnit! He beat me to it.” -Janis Joplin (on hearing of Jimi Hendrix’s death)
“Map out your future but do it in pencil.” -Jon Bon Jovi
“All great art comes from a sense of outrage.” -Glenn Close
“Love makes intellectual pretzels of us all.” -Sarah Bird
“I believe in an open mind but not so open your brains fall out.” -Arthur Hays Sulzberger
“You are only given a little spark of madness. You must not lose it.” -Robin Williams
“Assumptions are the termites of relationships.” -Henry Winkler
“The 1st step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.” -Ben Stein
“Never pass up an opportunity to use the restroom.” -Sally Sanger
“No 1 who cannot train a dog to heel, sit, & stay for at least 10 minutes on command should be allowed to raised children.” -Robin Clements
“When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.” -Jimi Hendrix

Answer 7

Do a search on 'quotes' and you'll get dozens of sites that you can search by subject, key word, author, etc.

Answer 8

Do you think God gets stoned?
I think so... look at the platypus.

“Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”

Sometimes you've got to specifically go out of your way to get into trouble.
It's called fun.

“Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.”

All of these are from Robin Williams.

Answer 9

Silence is of the Gods.. only monkeys chatter
you have to suffer to be beautiful
Be satisfied with what ya got

Answer 10

"Never try to teach a cat to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys the cat." -Mark Twain

"God gave His children memory so they could have June roses in December." -Unknown

"Stop worrying -- nobody gets out of this world alive." -Unknown

"Remember when you see a man at the top of a mountain, he didn't fall there." -Unknown

"There's only one thing that can guarantee our failure, and that's if we quit." -Craig Breedlove