I love my boyfriend alot but he is really wanting me to go over his house to "Chill" but i always tell him no cuz i either have something else to do or im scared to have sex. what should i do?
2006-09-13 14:28:34 · 17 answers · asked by puertoricanhottie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Don't do it until you're ready. When the time and the guy are both right, you'll really want to do it. Wait for that feeling, because that's how you'll know you're ready.
2006-09-13 14:29:48 · answer #1 · answered by Catspaw 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well tell him the truth and he has to respect u cuz he ur boyfreind tell him how u feel about having sex that ur not ready for it yet and that u want to go to have a good time but u dont want him to think something else or try taking someone with u or make sure someone is at his house when u go over so u be more conterbale
2006-09-13 21:31:16 · answer #2 · answered by Beautiful 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally know what you mean. I always tell him that i have a lot of homework that i need to get done. Sometimes i tell him that he can come over to my house to "Chill" because i know there will always be someone else there, so we wont end up having sex. Or if your brave; here is a thought for you. Tell him your feelings on sex. If he really loves you then he wont pressure you into it and he will respect your choice not to have sex when your not ready. I know that it is easier said than done, but trust me, once you talk to him about it you will feel so much better and you wont be as afraid to go over to "chill" with him.
2006-09-13 21:34:14 · answer #3 · answered by heatherlynn55 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know he wants to have sex with you? It's possible it may just want to spend time with you in his environment to see how comfortable he feels around you in a normal and natural setting. It's always important to talk things out, let him know how you feel, and, when you are ready, then you can explore the sexual avenue more at that time. There is plenty of time to have sex in your life and if your boyfriend loves you then he will respect that. If he does not love you then he will be mad that you won't "do it", which is a good thing because then you will know that he isn't the right one anyway.
2006-09-13 21:31:53 · answer #4 · answered by achristian520 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you assuming he wants to have sex or do you know this. If you are just assuming things then you need to clarify what he means by chilling and if you are not comfortable with his definition tell him so. Either way you need to communicate how you feel and what you do and don't want to do. If he can not accept that then he is not right for you.
2006-09-13 21:32:44 · answer #5 · answered by David P 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off - I would look silly in your shoes ... ;-)
BUT SERIOUSLY - if your boyfriend is pressuring you for sex - you need to lay the law down to him, instead of him pressuring you. IT IS YOUR BODY and YOUR responsibility - not his.
If he gets you pregnant - he's either just going to have this "Oh well" attitude or make it your fault somehow and not take responsibilities not to mention the tensions and problems you would face with parents and its just not worth the hassle.
Your first time should be special and not filled with apprehension and yes, in the old fashion tradition, you should save yourself for marriage - for someone who is patient and loving and proven, not give in to some selfish self centered jerk who just wants sex.
Trust me on this sweety. I might be old, but guys are the same in every generation; Good Guys and Selfish Guys. Yours is selfish.
LASTLY - think about this; he wouldnt tell you if he had STDs (sexually transmitted diseas) and if he dont have one now, odds are he will in time, and to get his sex he's not going to tell anyone - ASSUMING he even knows when he gets it.
2006-09-13 21:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by Victor ious 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he truly cares for you he will respect your decision and wait until both of you are ready to have an intimate relationship. I think you should explain the situation to him. Tell him strait that you are not quite ready and if he is a good guy he will understand and stop trying to get you to 'Chill'. Good luck.
2006-09-13 21:35:08 · answer #7 · answered by wraith1796 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think if you don't want to have sex then don't and don't let ur boyfriend push you into it, only u know what u are ready for and when you are ready then you'll do it. as for not wanting to go over to ur boyfriends, maybe just go over and "chill" he may surprise you, if you have other things to do then just reschedule a different time with him. if you go over and he tries to do anything or wants u to have sex stand ur ground and if your boyfriend truly loves you then he will respect ur decision
2006-09-13 21:32:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would make it clear that I am not going to "Chill" until I am ready. If he cares at all about you he will understand. If he doesn't them forget him. You should never do anything you are not ready to do. I am proud of you for being cautious. What you have to offer is special. Wait till you are ready. Good luck!
2006-09-13 21:32:39 · answer #9 · answered by cutencurley_05 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him. Tell him you don't feel comfortable at this place (and that you're not ready for a physical relationship). If he sincerely cares about you, he'll understand. If it becomes obvious that only wants to be with you to have sex, then dump him. He's not worth it.
2006-09-13 21:32:14 · answer #10 · answered by Redrum 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋