Adopted....Loving My Real Mom......And Knowing her...?

Question

My Biological Mother! Wanting to become closer?
I want to become closer to my real mom?
I was adopted as a baby.my real mom is actually a cousin of my adoptive family.So my whole life ive know her as a cousin,and looked at her as that.Well now she and i want to become closer and im not getting any younger im 13 almost 14! How can i ?? She lives 2 hrs away from my city,and just got married will she still love me the same?? Also she might have another child someday and will pry love that one more! HELP!! Please and Thank you!! :)




I was adopted b/c she was young when i was born and my father died before i was born.

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Answer 1

my husband is/was almost in the same situation.
his mom is really his aunt. he is 30 and just found out. he is a little mad, because he wanted his cousins to be brothers (and they really were)

if you want to get close, do. but dont' leave your adoptive parents out. they love you. don't play the 'finger game'. you could have had a worse family. your real mom will love you the same as a new child she has, it may seem like she will love the new one more, but that is b/c she was not with you.

A parent will always love their baby, no matter what. (unless that person is really screwed up mentally in the head)

Well good luck

Answer 2

I hope you are able to have a positive relationship with both your parents and your birth mother.

I think the key is to accept that you and your birth mom are going to have something different than a mother/daughter relationship. Take it as a bonus relationship - that you are lucky enough to know your birth mother at such a young age.

As for her love for you, as you get older you will know that the more people you love the bigger and better your love becomes. You will always have a place in her life, and when she has other kids, you may just have a special role for those kids. You'll be a big sister and a cousin.

Always remember you are blessed with have all those people that love you. Even if sometimes the relationships are not as you hoped they would be, being loved is what makes life worth living.

Answer 3

First. it's like a puzzel. You need to identify all the people who is effected with your Real Mom & your arrangement. You can't just go stir up the POT, there can be negative consequences for you both. Oh, you might want to consider the thought out approach for your Mom too, in case she's a wacko person. Sometimes, people who are OLDER can't make the ADULT decisions your looking for to happen, so be very carefull. Maybe there is just more to the story why your real Mom is what she is and not having you! Can you talk to your real grandparents? You might want to wait when your 18 years old. Don't be creating a real mess for yourself. At least now, you know the truth. If you have it nice with your adoptive parents, consider them too. Focus on your school education now, everything with time will workout for you. In this situation, you need to have patience and find those opportunities, you will know when too.

Answer 4

I have a member of my family they adopted their grandson. I’m sure she will always love you, she let a member of her own family adopted you so that’s saying she probably wanted to be able to have some ties with you. You should probably start out small maybe talking on the phone a few times a month; eventually get the point maybe where you have short visits. It would depend on her too she might not want to have that type of relationship with you, this it might hard to think about but it’s a possibility. I can say I am adopted and I would not want to have any sort of relationship with my birthmother, I just don’t desire it. I respect her for giving me life but she is not my mother and I have never thought of her in that way.

You should talk to your parents too, because when it comes down to it your real parent(s) are not your biological ones, but the parents who have loved, cared and natured you.

Answer 5

oh that is real sad. its good though that u have been able to keep in touch with her, she is your mother and will always love you wether she has other childeren or not. i think getting to know her would be a good idea, if your thinking of moving in with her to do that its probably not a better idea. i would go and stay at her place every holiday or something and get to know her that way first. have u spoken to your adoted family about it? maybe they can give u some better advice. all i know is that if i were adopted i would want to know my mum too. when i was in high school my best friend found out she was adopted and met her real mum and brothers and sisters and although tey tried real hard they couldnt get along and she was always upset and depressed when ever she would hear from her.

Answer 6

love grows gradually,and so dont get jealous of the unborn child,not even after it comes,she is ur mom by the way,she'll always love you.