that her Maid of Honor is doing a "not so good" job of planning things (to say the least)...and you truly hope this will not fall back on the rest of the bridal party.
2006-09-13 13:45:28 · 33 answers · asked by ME 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I have tried to help, but she pushes us away and is kinda rude about everything.
2006-09-13 13:49:29 · update #1
If it was a close friend...I wouldnt stress her out with that right now. I would try to help the maid of honor with the planning. It shouldnt really be about who does what...or who gets the credit for what....its about helping a friends wedding go smoothly.
After seeing your additional comment....... send her our replies so she can see from outside sources.....tell her I said to get her pride out of the way.... its not about her... :)
2006-09-13 13:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by wingsfan1979 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maids of Honour are usually picked by the relationship that is held with a bride, unfortunately not on their organisational skills. Perhaps you can ask the M of H or bride if they need assistance, as they have such an enormous job the rest of the bridal party are only too willing to jump in and help. Don't critisize the M of H too much to the bride as I'm sure she is stressed enough. So subtley suggest that you would love to assist the M of H in some of the planning as to get things back on schedule. Then give a few suggestions on how you can contribute.
For example give a few ideas to the M of H and decide what would be best for the Bride and tell her you'll take care of it as you have a free day, is there anything else you could do while your out and about. That way everything gets done and she wont feel like your standing on her toes.
Remember, long after the wedding you all want to still be good friends.
2006-09-13 14:00:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isnt your problem. My friend asked another girl to be her maid of honor and not me which annoyed me but i didnt say anything. The maid of honor was PISSED to hear my friend was getting married (therefore since it was her first reaction to be mad i KNEW she would do a horrible job cause she had deep resentment about our friend getting married before her.) Therefore I mentioned to my friend that she may want to ask her mom to hold the bridal shower cause her maid of honor was going to be too busy with her own planned wedding later that year. And i was correct. She listened to me though and her mother held the bridal shower and NONE of the other bridesmaids (i dropped out of being a bridesmaid cause i didnt want to deal with it and couldnt afford the dress) even helped plan the bridal shower. If it wasnt for her mom she wouldnt have had one at all! And when my friend tried to suggest I PLAN IT I immediately said "oh no i cant do that. that is the MAID of HONOR's job and i wouldnt want to upset her!" I wanted my friend to learn and understand what a bad choice she made.
So dont worry it is her fault for picking such a bad maid of honor. All you can do is mention the problem to the bride like "oh i dont think (M of H) has the time, blah blah to do a proper job planning your wedding. Or we dont seem to be communicating well so you should talk to her." Etc. And if the bride doesnt listen to you and say something to the M of H then it is her fault not yours.
Just do your part but remember it is the job of the M of H not you to plan everything. You are there for support and help but not to be the planner.
2006-09-13 15:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is simple. Tell the bride that her maid of honnor isn't really doing a good job at planning things and you where wondering if there are area's that could use more attention. You never to the maid of honor herselve cause thats just rude. Most likely the bride will say yeah I could really use your help in......Well, What the bride said is how it goes.
2006-09-13 16:03:38 · answer #4 · answered by colleenjoy79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get together with the bride, alone and face-to-face, and explain what you are observing about the maid of honor's shortcomings. Tell her you're not trying to bash the maid of honor but that you are concerned and want to ensure that her wedding day is as perfect as possible. Offer to pick up some of the slack. Know ahead of time some of the specific things that aren't being done (or being done right) and offer specific remedies that you are willing personally to take on and/or correct. Advise the bride to keep a closer eye on her staff.
2006-09-13 13:54:47 · answer #5 · answered by nido_tr3s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should start by telling the bride that you are happy for her and that you know that she wants her wedding to be the best that it can possibly be. Tell her that although you know it is not really your place to say anything, you would want someone to tell you if it were your wedding. Then tell her but be sure that you try to stay as neutral as possible and convey that you are concerned about her and how her wedding will affect her if done wrong because you care about her and her day....not how you look. I'm sure that she would take what you said into consideration and re-think it over. Maybe you should even talk to the other bridal party first. See how they react. Best wishes and take care.
2006-09-13 13:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by mothergoose 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the bride that you and the other bridesmaids are trying to help the MOH plan the shower and bachelorette party but she won't let you guys help and you're afraid that things will get out of budget for the rest of the bridal party.
2006-09-13 17:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Me, tell her gently, just go to her and advise her of what is going on. I am sure she will appreciate your gesture, since it is her wedding. Explain to her specifically exactly what is being done wrong so that she can look at it and see it for herself.
I understand that you don't want to sound as if you are telling on someone else, but sometimes if you really care for the bride you have to do things, things that need to be done and said. So go tell your friend, she is probably going crazy with the preparations. Tell her if needed you will help the Maid of Honor if needed.
Good luck and have fun at the wedding.
2006-09-13 13:52:16 · answer #8 · answered by Boricua Born 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could try dropping subtle hints about different little things that the Maid of Honor is doing that you don't think the bride would like if that doesn't work, take her to lunch or something and discuss it with her. If your friends, surely she'll understand your trying to look out for her best interest.
2006-09-13 13:50:35 · answer #9 · answered by sheeba 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either tell her the truth directly or lie to her by sayin you have a sister and she would like to do the "Maid of Honor" job. If you were going dirrectly to her, tell her Maid oof Honor is not in the same room as the both of you bcos the Maid of Honor might defend herself. And when you talk to ur fiance about her, talk about her flaws
2006-09-13 14:03:49 · answer #10 · answered by jupjup10 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not offer to help out the Maid of Honor instead? Chances are if you're not close enough to help out the maid of honor then you're probably not close enough to the bride to be able to tell her the maid of honor isn't doing a good job.
2006-09-13 13:47:24 · answer #11 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋