What would you do in this situation?

Question

So my husband I and were looking for a good church. We found this particular church that we really liked. But then we made the mistake of telling some of our family about it.
Next thing we know, a certain person we don't really like showed up there. He started rubbing elbows with the deacons and pastors, and getting himself in the center of things. We weren't really happy about this because we know how he is. He is the kind of person who goes to church on Sunday morning then cusses and argues when he goes home. So of course, next thing you know, there was tension between us and him.
Then he started telling lies about me and my husband, and making us look bad to the church. And of course he was their new best friend, so they believed him. I tried to speak with the pastor but he acted like I was being dramatic.
So last time we were there, people were avoiding us and looking at us dirty. We even got married there, and no church members came. So we stopped going. What would you do?

atheists please don't answer with "stop attending church" that's not what I'm looking for

Answer 1

I have an ex-husband like this. A complete sociopath---real charming on the outside and manipulative. Why you told this person about your church is beyond me--don't tell this guy about anyplace else you go.

Leave the church, go somewhere else. Unfortunately, the pastor will take his word over yours simply because you are female. I'm not bashing your church or Christianity, but I found out the hard way that the Christian church is extremely misogynistic.

Sever all ties with this psycho and if he tries to insert himself into your life, get a restraining order.

And like Jesusfreak said--make sure your new pastor knows this situation beforehand, so as to nip it in the bud.

Answer 2

I'd look for a new church. Maybe run this story by the pastor there rather early on, see what reaction you get. A church is supposed to be a community that supports you. If it's hard to get plugged in and easy to be snubbed, that's not the type of church I'd grow very well in. There are good ones out there. Don't give up. God will put you where you belong. Praying never hurts.

Answer 3

I'd find a new church. If a pastor will only listen to one side of a story, that says something about the pastor. By the sounds of the rest of the people in the congregation, sounds like there is a problem with gossip- not a healthy problem to have at a church. Don't give up on church entirely! Just find another one that teaches the Bible and loves the way a family should.

Answer 4

What exactly did you want the pastor to do? His concern should be the right and proper worship of God in his church--not becoming involved in petty disagreements between parishioners.

One should never choose a church just because you like it. Know what they teach and what they preach. You are not going to church because it is a social club, you go to worship God. If this is true, then what do you care about this other person and or what people there think. If what is being said about you and your husband it isn't true, then you know it, God knows it and that should be enough. Go to church to worship God, go with your head held high and continue to treat everyone kindly. The gossip is their sin and their problem - don't lower yourself to it.

If you can't accept this, go to another church, and keep it's location to yourself.

Answer 5

Fast and pray. It may take time to break through but please fast and pray.

Also, may I recommend to you the teachings of Derek Prince. Listen to what he has to say in his RADIO teachings about "The Enemies We Face". The website is http://www.derekprince.org/site/PageServer . You will need to sign on and then go to the menu that says RADIO and then examine the entire archive. You will find some great teachings there.

We wrestle not against flesh and blood ............

Don't get involved in fighting with this person that you don't like. Fast and pray...and live holy as well for without holiness, your prayers will not be effective.

I pray that God will show you exactly what to do. It is a tough situation. It might also be a good idea to change churches if they all think ill of you but never stop praying for that flock until God does something. It might take a year or more but pray and believe that Jesus is with you.

I unfortunately am not filled with the Holy Ghost and so I do not know the voice of God. If you do, then ask Hikm to tell you. If you do not know his voice, then ask Him to guide you in the right direction.

As a side issue, you know Jesus said that my sheep know my voice. Yet so many of us do not know His voice. How weak a Church we are. But the good news is that Jesus will revive His bride again.

Meanwhile, just ask Him to tell or guide you on what to do.

Be blest.

Answer 6

I'm sorry no church members came to the wedding. That must have been very hurtful. It's a shame we humans are often so eager to believe lies. But I'd still advise that you not abandon your church if everything else about it suits you. Be patient. Sooner or later your "certain person" will slip up and his insincerity, hypocrisy, and lies will become apparent to the pastor and your fellow congregants. People like that rarely can keep it up for long. Concentrate on showing these people who you REALLY are.

Answer 7

That is an awful situation to be in.
People aren't perfect, including pastors.
If they have a group of deacons or someone else to speak to them I would try that route.

In all honesty I think that you may want to find another Church. I would not want to have a Church family that seems so judgmental in the beginning.

God Bless and Good Luck!

Answer 8

As Christians, we are to pray for those that despitefully use us and persecute us. The person who started all the tension knew that he could because he knew how to get to you. Remember this though. It wasn't the actual person but rather the spirit of tension and strife.
My advice is simply to ask for God's guidance in finding the right church to attend. Also to continually pray for the person who started the mess, the pastor and any other person involved. My guess is that God will direct you to a powerful Holy Spirit filled church where the two of you will grow greatly.
Keep the faith.

Answer 9

The reason someone goes to Church is to be around Christians, so that you can encourage them, and they can encourage you in your Christian walk. When you're not comfortable in a Church, maybe you should find another church. Whatever you do, don't stop going to Church. Maybe you and your husband should pray about finding a good, Bible believing Church.

Answer 10

I would find a new church to go to one that will accept you. Sounds like a strange church to do that.I wouldnt tell that certain person where you are going to church. Dont let this discourage you. The reason for going to church is to worship God not gossip. Good Luck and God Bless!