HELP ! was i wrong ? My boyfriend has a 7 year old daughter, the other day he has ground her, and cold her,?

Question

I intervened and told him he was very wrong, the girl took my side,
now he thinks i disrecpect his decision in front of his daughter,and that i should have said that. I thought he was over reacting.Was i right or wrong,i need a sincere opinion.PLEASE !

Answer 1

A little bit wrong . It is better you told him privately. For the chinese they will feel lose face to be oppose. So you have to speak skillfully .

Answer 2

I don't understand exactly what you mean by he has ground her and cold her, but it doesn't sound the way a parent should behave with his child. I don't know why most people who replied this question say like "he is the father and he knows best how to treat his child and his daughter always have to keep respect for him". I don't think that you can say this as a general rule. Many parents don't treat their kids right and it is the responsibility of other people to intervene. I don't think that demanding respect from a child the way that you can punish them is a good way of raising kids.
Most of the people here are speaking about the rights of parents, but who is speaking about the rights of the kids? The rights of the kids are more important because they depend on their parents and they have to suffer from it when they act wrong.

Answer 3

You are not wrong for telling him what you think but I agree that you should NOT have done it in front of the child. You have to remember that he has known this child and disciplined her her entire life and knows the child better than you do. Giving him your opinion when you think he is to hard on her is ok just ask him to come in the next room with you and do it away from her. Think how it would make you feel if the shoe was on the other foot. Go to him and tell him you are sorry that you said what you did in front of the child and that it won't happen again and tell her that although you won't always agree with her dad that he is doing what he thinks to be best for her and she has to respect that but you will always be there to listen. Good luck.

Answer 4

Yes, you should never overstep the authority of another parent IN FRONT of a child. You should go to the room and talk about it. You are making the child disrespect his parent. Don't do that anymore.

Answer 5

first of all that was the wrong thing to do. espsecially that youre not the parent. he is the father and he knows what he is doing. i would stay out of it and respect him. the parents are the ones who disipline the child. it is not your job, you dont know her, she only took your side becuase she wants to not get introuble and will do anything to get out. be aware that this could backfire if you do it again.. you dont want this job.

Answer 6

Yes you were wrong. Never contradict a parent when that parent is disciplining his or her child.
The only exception of course is if a parent is harming the child.

Answer 7

in my openion, you should ave waited till things cooled down for a few. Men ( and i know since am oneof them ) tend to over re-act sometimes. But it takes them about 15 minutes to 30 to cool down.

just get him a cold drink and ask him" poor girl , don't u think its a bit hard on her to get such punishment ! ? "

small words will open his mind i hope.

Answer 8

you should never step in when he is correcting his daughter. He is your boyfriend, not your husband, and you are not her mother. I agree, you should have just told him later IN PRIVATE that you thought that he was over reacting and then let him change his punishment if he felt fit.

Answer 9

This is a touchy subject...I have 3 kids he has 1..when we first hooked up we were looking for another person to love and care for our kids like we would along with the connection that we each needed....I took his son away from him when he went to spank him one day and I didn't think his son needed it...My boyfriend was pissed...I let him go on till it was my turn to talk and just looked him in the eye and told him very calm sorta loud and extremly firmly that he needed to be glad that he had a girlfriend that loved his son enough to step in when she thought somone was being unfair to him regardless of who the unfair party is...I told him that he should appericate having somone that will stand up to him or anyone else for that matter on his son's behalf...He was still pissed but he stoped to think about it for a few...I was pissed the first time he steped in with my kids too...I didn't say anything to him about it but he knew I was...I didn't say anything because what I said to him was true..Neither one of us care what the other one does with our kids now because we both know we have the kids best intrestes at heart...And it shows our children that their parents are willing to stand up for them..even to the other parent...Now we are one big happy family..I am mom to all four kids he is daddy to all four...You have to put yourself in his place to though...That is his daughter..He is not use to sharing her with anyone but her mother..that is if she is in the picture...Everything with how her has been his way...And that is how parents like it..We know we are doing what is best for our kids and how dare anyone step in and say they disagree...But at times we need it...Try to be understanding of his feelings and most important talk to him about it...Even if it means the neighbors are listening to your "talk"..LOL It will be worth it in the long run...We need to know that another person is will to stand up for our children...As far as the other people that have responded to you go...You need to think how many of them are parents?? How many of them are no longer with the other parent?? How many of them have had another person not care about their child?? Then think about these in regards to your bf...After thinking about it and talking to him you will know what to do the next time this happens...And I am sure it will...Good parents bump heads...

Answer 10

you shouldnt have said anything to prove him wrong in front of his daughter.