My son told me last night he hates me and he aways has the only reason why he was nice to me latley was so he could get his driver's licence. I have never done anything to the boy what so ever he blames me that his dad won't let him use our family car as well. But its not up to me its up to his dad. how do I recover from this. At first I thought that he was just upset but this morning he said mum remember mum I hate you so leave me alone and never talk to me again. I love this kid but why is it me that he is blaming for his dad not letting him drive our car for. Please some advice on this how I can get over this feeling I have knowing my son hates me.
2006-09-13 11:05:30 · 18 answers · asked by Mrs Magoo 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
He is 18 he is developmentally delayed in some areas his mental age is 8 some areas. he is older. How did he get his drivers license you asked. I was told that as long as he can read the road signs and learn to drive a car and is able to understand the road rules he is able to get his licence legally He can do all of these things but he just don't seem to understand I am not the one that is not allowing him to drive our car its his father.He is a safe driver I am the one that trust him. Its his dad that does not. But he also would not let our daughter drive the car so his disability is not the reason its all about what might happen.
2006-09-13 14:29:30 · update #1
I think he is trying to get you and dad to take sides so he can play you against one another. I would say it is imperative that both you and his father sit him down and talk to him together. His father needs to back you up right now more than ever. His father needs to tell him that as long as he disrepects you, he will never touch the car. By the way, I know it hurts when he says he hates you. But I doubt really seriously that he actually does. He may hate the fact that his father gives him his way more than you do. But again, I think it is absolutely crucial that you and his father show that you are united and that he will not be able to manipulate you. He doesn't hate you, he is testing you to see what he can get you to do.
2006-09-13 11:17:27 · answer #1 · answered by William E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but maybe he really does hate you. My brother hated my mom as a teenager and he continued to hate her right up until she passed away and he was a man in his mid 30's. I think some people just have a different type of personality that hates being told no and obviously he sees you as the NO person in the family otherwise he would be able to talk his dad into anything with his warped sense of perception. My heart feels for you and in all honesty there is nothing you can do about it. It is not up to you to try and change it won't make him feel any differently about you at this time...maybe when he grows up.
2006-09-13 11:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son doesnt hate you at all. Teens say that to thier moms at least once or twice. They are just rebelling because they cant get what they want when they want it. And the reason hes saying he hates you is because he knows you are alot more sensitive with your feelings and he knows how much it will bother you. Just so next time he wants something from you he can get his way. Why doesnt his dad take care of the problem of your son disrepecting you like that? He needs to step in there somewhere. Dont let your son get to you like this. He doesnt hate you hes just a teen. One day he will grow up and realize how bad he hurt you by saying that.
2006-09-13 11:11:08 · answer #3 · answered by michelle 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your kid is being a jackass. I'd tell him that if he hated me so much, then he could get out of my house, go get a job, his own place and his own car. When he's out on his own, then maybe he'll realize that he ought not disrespect the person who brought him into this world and takes care of him because he can't get his way. Even if he didn't leave, I'd stop doing everything for him that is not required by law. Only food and shelter provided. No driving him, laundry, cleaning, talking to him, helping him in any way. (You might want to consider making him pay for soap, water and electricity if he does his own laundry.) Harsh words like this call for a harsh response.
2006-09-13 11:13:52 · answer #4 · answered by julz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's a point in most young men's lives where they rebel or strike out against their parents. It is a devastating time for a parent if they can't hold the big picture in mind.
Be sympathetic and understanding. Don't get argumentative and defensive. It seems personal but it isn't. He's desparate to be a man and shake off the shackles of living at home.
There will come a time where he will return.
Good luck.
FP
2006-09-13 11:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the car is the least of your problems. Why would you try to shift the blame onto his father? He obviously hates him, too. I think you should let him experience life on his own for a while (maybe not out of your house, but get a job, pay his own bills, pay for his recreation, etc.) Then he may decide hating his parents isn't the smartest thing in the world to do.
2006-09-13 11:13:24 · answer #6 · answered by bnthere 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
So do no longer swaddle. maximum newborns like it, whether it relatively is different how long they shop liking it. My son enjoyed it his first few weeks, yet around 3 weeks he all started waking up early squirming to get unfastened so i ended swaddling him. Swaddling a new child who does not like it thoroughly defeats the purpose. and that they the two like it or no longer, you won't have the ability to get them to like it. I now use a easy toddler dozing bag mixed with tightly tucked in sheets and blankets. It provides him sufficient freedom on a similar time as nevertheless giving him a secure sense of being enclosed. it works great for him. i'm no longer saying the comparable will notice on your son, whether it extremely is something to attempt.
2016-09-30 22:22:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, look, I am 13 and I have told my parents I hate them, but I NEVER mean it. Maybe he's just going through a hard time right now. You know? Sit down and talk to him...tell him how you feel about him, and that it's not your fault about the car. See if that works.
2006-09-13 11:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by sabrina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My opinion--and you will not agree. Talk to his dad. Try to come to a mutual understand. Does you son have his drivers license yet. If he does not--do not let him get them. Do not sign for him. If he does--tear them up. If he wants to act like that, it is not right. I know this is harsh but what he has done is harsh. Good luck.
2006-09-13 11:17:48 · answer #9 · answered by old_woman_84 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's just acting out. When he matures, he'll realize how wrong and hurtful he is and feel guilty. Just get over it, and remember that it's not the end of the world. He wants you to feel bad so he can gloat. Don't let it get to you, be strong. Always let him know you're the boss and he needs to respect you.
2006-09-13 13:15:35 · answer #10 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋