I was invited to a retirement party for a woman in my office that has never said a kind work to me, so I didn't go. When I was invited, the organizer asked me for $40 to help pay for her dinner and gifts. I was also told not to bring my spouse. At the same time, she was also organizing a farewell party for another co-worker that I like very much, but she was only asking $10 for her dinner and gifts. I went to the latter party (without my spouse) and had a good time. Later, I found out that the other party which I had missed involved male strippers. No big deal. However, nobody had been warned and the stripper danced with each person individually. The person who first told me about the stripper is a married woman and she hid in the restroom until it was over. Do you think the organizer should have let all guests know that this was to be expected? Had I gone to the party and fell victim to that, I'd have all the more reason to dislike the lady who is retiring.
2006-09-13 10:33:12 · 12 answers · asked by www 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
You did the right thing. First off, a retirement party & strippers...jeez...that's tacky! Maybe if it was a bachelor/ette party ok...but that's just plain tacky. As for your decision not to go...I'm with you. Sounds like you followed your instincts and did the right thing...why go somewhere when you already have a dislike towards someone or something. You are always better off following your intuition. Life is TOO short to have a bad time!
2006-09-13 10:38:56 · answer #1 · answered by punchie 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Fortunate for you that lady is retiring! Too bad tho it sounds as if she has a 'kindred spirit' in the organizer who seems very much around.
A couple questions--did you pony up the $40 (I hope not!). Secondly, is it possible that the organizer told the others but not yourself? Anyone that donated that amount of money to pay for male strippers without knowing about the 'special' entertainment was inappropriately manipulated by the organizer. (And anyone that agreed to it was inappropriate).
You didn't mention what type of organization you work for. Most places that are even remotely up to date with human resource issues or have employment handbooks would surely have clauses that in a global was would make things such as male strippers against policy. However, that would not necessarily apply if the party was voluntary and off site AND the parties were aware (and so were exposed to it voluntarily).
Allowed or not, it is about the tackiest work party story I ever heard. $40 for a retirement party is not unheard of, but you're supposed to spend that money on a valuable momento. I'm glad for you that you weren't there (& hope you didn't also throw $40 out the window on the organizers bad taste!)
2006-09-13 10:57:54 · answer #2 · answered by knewknickname 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was the party appropriate? Probably not. Since you were unaware that there would be male strippers, I can only assume that others were not aware. This forces people with higher moral standards to be embarrassed and possibly have to leave, or spend time in the restroom with the hostess. No one should give a party where anyone could possibly be offended, particularly when they are giving it in honor of someone else.
2006-09-13 10:39:48 · answer #3 · answered by loufedalis 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that mixing strippers with work is always inappropriate. That puts people in an awkward position when it also involves a retirement party for a co-worker.
2006-09-13 10:39:58 · answer #4 · answered by united9198 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing and people should have been given notice on the strippers and let you make that decision instead of having it forced on your friend.If someone treated me bad at work I wouldnt fork over a penny to the old hags retirement..,I have no tolerance for people like that..,i would get her a bottle of geritol and gift wrap it for her lol
2006-09-13 10:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by halfbright 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is totally inappropriate for a work function. However, I think the question here is why do you care? Are you looking to get the organizer penalized? If the people who attended were offended it is their responsibility to do something about it. You didn't attend, so it looks like you dodged a bullet!
2006-09-13 10:53:58 · answer #6 · answered by Wren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get over it, but more importantly get over yourself. From what you've told us there is no reason to believe that attendance was manditory. You went of your own free will.
2006-09-13 10:39:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I smell a lawsuit.
2006-09-13 10:41:13 · answer #8 · answered by it 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What company do you work for? I would sack my staff instantly.
2006-09-13 10:35:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Get over it.
2006-09-13 10:35:15 · answer #10 · answered by newt_peabody 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋