I'm concerned about my friend..he's dating this girl who believes everything should be 50/50. She doesn't believe the man is in charge and she doesn't want to take his last name. This sounds like it is headed for disaster. What do you all think I should do?
2006-09-13 10:16:51 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Stay out of it. Sounds like this woman has a very healthy self esteem which can only make for a stronger relationship!
2006-09-13 10:19:00 · answer #1 · answered by Brent 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with what most others are saying. If he is okay with this, then stay out of it. This is a new age and things in a marriage should be 50/50 and a woman doesn't have to take his name any more. Why should the man be "in charge" of everything. I don't even believe in our parents era that was completely true. If he DOES have a problem with it being like that, then of course he shouldn't marry her, but he should have already made that decision before now.
2006-09-13 17:32:10 · answer #2 · answered by Wicked Lioness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is no longer any such thing as love honor and obey.
now a days it has to be fifty-fifty or the woman gets stuck doing the brunt of the work -- from a career to house cleaning to child raising
if there isn't fifty-fifty then she gets 75 / 25 split. to me that is unfair and unequal.
as for the last name -- have you seen how hard it is to change college degrees to a married name and other professional papers, not to mention -- dl, social and anything else with maiden name. its a given she's misses so and so, but it is not always feasible to have name changed on everything to reflect that.
there is no disaster in the making if fiance is okay with it. you need to butt out and let friends live their own life, you are not the marrige police and should stay out of it. it is not your place to tell anyone anything, it is not you who are doing the marrying.
2006-09-13 18:13:28 · answer #3 · answered by Forever Looking 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Butt out and deal with your own issues. From the questions you've posted, you have a whole lot more to worry about than your friend and who he is going to marry.
Would YOU promise to obey or be willing to change your name? You can't expect other people to do what you aren't willing to. Male or female - it makes no difference.
I'm guessing you're the kind of man who gets "uncomfortable" when you see a woman dressed in pants or a pant suit. Too much blurring of the gender lines for you, I suspect.
2006-09-14 08:50:18 · answer #4 · answered by BasketChick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I did not take my husbands last name. And when you mean 50/50? I work, he works and we both need to do house cleaning. We both need to pay bills and when the children come they need to know they have a mother and a father. 50/50 Stay out of it, they will be fine.
2006-09-13 17:23:13 · answer #5 · answered by SEXY 818 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friends fiance is right you don't have to obey anyone are honor them. For as the changes your last name this 2006 not 1950. I had a degree and a CPA degree in my maiden name and you bet I kept it. He needs to find out no one is in charge it's equal all the way.
2006-09-13 17:26:40 · answer #6 · answered by Nicki 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think the women should take his name only if she wants to, I took his name but that's me, everything IS 50/50 and should be, but some days you give more and some days you take more, it should all come out in the wash...and the man isn't in charge, unless its in bed sometimes..wink wink..stay out of it
2006-09-13 17:22:01 · answer #7 · answered by silver 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he has asked you for your opinion, be completely honest with him and give it to him wholeheartedly. If you're just "on the outside looking in" and want to offer your opinion...stay out of it!
But for what it's worth, I do agree with you... sounds like it's headed for disaster. Women SHOULD love, honor and even OBEY their husbands! If your husband asked you to get on your knees and bark like a dog in front of his friends...that's crazy talk! And that's NOT the type of obey that the Bible talks about. Obey in this sense means to let your husband be the head of the household and for you to be his helpmeet.
And I don't know why she doesn't want his last name...is she famous or something? LOL.
2006-09-13 17:33:41 · answer #8 · answered by Nocturnal 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she's been that open about everything, then your friend knows her opinions. You could just say something casual like "you okay with her not taking your name, etc?" But that's about all you can do. It is his life and his choice. You definitely shouldn't marry anyone with that attitude, as I can see by your comments that it would cause major conflicts. However, don't impose your opinions onto your friend. If he's happy with her, then you should be happy for him. Make sense?
2006-09-13 17:21:34 · answer #9 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't see anything wrong. Since when are things not 50/50 in a marriage? Unless you are living in the 18th century. Also, who cares if he takes his last name or not. Does she love him, care for him, and is faithful? If all yes, then what are you worried about!
2006-09-13 18:06:44 · answer #10 · answered by lady_reed_03 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋