I have been in a exclusive relationship with a guy for 3+months and we get along pretty well, no drama at all, he spends alot of time with me, we talk when he comes over, and he is around my son frequently. Recently thought I had a issue with a babysitter and he volunteered to watch him for me. But to my surprise he was looking for payment for this. This is person that eats, sleeps, and gets good loving from me very often. I have felt unappreciated from the start of our realtionship. It is like the little things he does for me I appreciate them alot but I feel that if he wanted to help me and us grow and be able to do more things he wouldn't have asked for a dime, he is suppose to be my boyfriend now it is like I see him differently like it is just business. I appreciate his offer and I do need him to help me out for the next month or so but I feel if he cared about me at all this wouldn't have occured. It has me wondering if my perception of him was off from the beginning.
2006-09-13 09:44:06 · 17 answers · asked by Tori 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
so he's your exclusive relationship, and I also assume that you are his. but you have somebody else's baby, and that's not quite so easy a piece to fit into place. maybe it's a sign that while he's somewhat comfortable with the role of boyfriend he's not necessarily so comfortable stepping into somebody else's shoes to be the daddy for your kid. you should find out where he thinks the lines are drawn between you and your baby, and you and him, and him and your kid. you may find that he thinks he can be your boyfriend without taking any real responsibility for that child. or he might think that 3 months is too fast to get himself a girlfriend AND a child, which is understandable, and in which case you've got to slow down yourself and realize that all men are not just interchangeable. he's not your baby's daddy.
3 months is plenty of time for a good relationship between a man and a woman to develop, but it is nowhere near enough time to make a co-operative, smoothly functioning, normal nuclear family.
if you do care about this guy and you see him as somebody that you would like to have around in the future, then you need to find out how he percieves the possibilities and the necessities, what his anxieties and worries are, and what you can do to help smooth these issues out.
on the other hand, you may realize that it's primarily teenagers and youngsters that do babysitting for cash, he's not likely to grow into you and your son's life as a provider and caregiver, and he will ultimately end up being your responsibility with you as the exclusive caregiver. In which case you can keep him as a boyfriend if you want, and try to juggle your son's needs and your boyfriends, or you can ditch him and look for a more suitable candidate to give you free babysitting and other things that make life as a single parent liveable.
ultimately, as your baby's mother, you need to make a decision that will be best for your child, but you also have to find a solution that you yourself will be happy with, too. these are not easy problems to navigate and wrestle with. good luck!!
2006-09-13 10:18:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only should you NOT pay him, but if you have felt unappreciated from the start of our realtionship then you should get rid of him!
Next thing you know he'll want payment for being your boyfriend!
2006-09-13 09:51:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first time that he volunteered to watch your son, no payment should have been asked of you. But if you continue to have him watch your son several times a week, it's time to get a sitter. And please be careful about who you let babysit your son. In my opinion, 3 months is not NEARLY enough time for me to know if I trust someone with my child.
2006-09-13 09:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by Nocturnal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now you know something about him now. He's all about the free loading. Try to find someone else to keep your child. If you have to pay someone, you should not have to sleep with them. You will think that since he's getting something for free that he would do something for free. Drop this loser and move on. Might want to look into daycare that have 24 hour day care options.
2006-09-13 09:50:41 · answer #4 · answered by kitcat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how did you finally end up with $six hundred a month? did you talk it along with her, evaluate section daycare costs, or did she request that plenty? does she watch him at her homestead or yours? what's 'finished time' to you in hours? 40? greater? All of those issues ingredient into the quantity. you mustn't sense in charge for her employment in case you confirm to stay homestead, yet you mustn't stay homestead to save $six hundred...why not renegotiate along with her, and tell her the money is merely too plenty so you might pay.
2016-10-14 23:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where did you find this guy? He is messed up. I can't believe he is expecting payment for taking care of your son. If he is like this with money now, can you imagine later on?
2006-09-13 09:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by Art The Wise 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't have asked for compensation for offering to watch your son, however I would give him the same amount as I paid for the babysitter.
2006-09-13 09:53:33 · answer #7 · answered by jdecorse25 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If hes asking you to give him money to baby sit your son..tell him to go to hell but if you want him around then charge him for food electricity and rent and tell him he has to give you payment when he wants to make love with you..that should make him realise how stupid he is being.
2006-09-13 09:52:06 · answer #8 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear sirens!!! Whistles!! Yes, your perception was off. Can you imagine if you were married to him? You'd probably have to pay him for any housework he'd "volunteer" to do. I suggest not to get serious with this guy.
2006-09-13 09:50:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
all he wants is a lil spontaneous head, and if he insist on moneyu then kick his broke *** to the curb yo, thats some pretty messed up shitt if he really wants payment for that, and cant do you a favor... whatever tho, u decide
2006-09-13 09:47:25 · answer #10 · answered by J from O 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋