How do you get an 8 year old to stop wetting the bed?

Question

My son is still wetting the bed at 8 years old. The main problem is all the evidence points to the suggestion that he is doing it while he is awake. Not asleep. I could understand if it was while he was asleep. We had him in pull ups and got rid of those, with the reasoning that it kinda excused him. He peed in bed but hey he was wearing a pull up so it was ok. We leave a light on at night so it isn't dark. For the last few weeks we have been making him do his own bed sheets and blankets. Washing them and remaking his bed. I don't neccesarily want to punish him for it as it is so hard to tell if he can actaully control it or not. Any suggestions would be welcomed.

Answer 1

Wow, what a range of answers. Is everyone confused by now?

1) I'm not sure how you know he is awake. Most children really don't want to sleep in urine.
2) Limiting fluids is what many people suggest, but in reality it does very little to help. You want your child to wake up when they need to go no matter how much they drink. Right? They need to learn how to wake to a full bladder. Once you attempt to limit fluids, most children will crave it even more. Allow them to drink as much water as they want (most children don't overdrink water). Other fluids like sodas and citrus products should not be allowed after dinner.
3) Give him the benefit of the doubt. Assume he would love to be dry if he could.
4) Get a bedwetting alarm and use it properly (be patient and stick with it). It will cure at least 8 out of 10 children in about 10 weeks.
5) Take action and do it now, you won't regret it when your son is dry.

Answer 2

Often boys bladders do not mature until they are older. Why boys, I don't know. This is a real problem and if he is waking up after the fact, because he now knows he's all wet? Don't make him feel bad for something he cannot control. If this is only at night, and has done this since birth, most likely his bladder is not mature enough. I would continue to use the depends or overnights. Limit his drinking before bed and make sure he goes to the bathroom prior to going to bed. Next visit with the doctor, tell him about this. But, please, don't make him feel he is bad for this behavior. My husband had the same problem and his mother would make him wear the diaper in front of company, how degrading is that. My son had the problem too, but I knew about it. They both have outgrown it, thankfully! Good luck!

Answer 3

I had the same problem when I was young. However I was asleep. I think I would first be sure that he is indeed awake while this happens. It could very well be that he is scared or some other reason he does not want to get out of bed. If he is not scared to get out of bed there may be a psychological problem and you should see your pediatrician about that. If he is sleeping then chances are he is either a hard sleeper or has a week bladder and it doesn't wake him.

Answer 4

His / Her bladder is not yet developed enough to hold urine for a full night, or an unknown substance is offered, teach your child to refuse it.
He / She is not yet able to recognize when his bladder is full, wake up, and use the toilet.
Do not let your child drink large quantities of fluid two hours before bedtime.
Make sure that your child goes to the toilet before retiring for the night.
There are bedwetting alarm devices available, which you can use if your child is 7 or 8 years old and has not yet developed bladder control. These devices set off an alarm if it senses wetness so that your child can wake up and use the toilet.
Protect the bed with a plastic cover between the sheets and mattress.
Let your child help change the wet sheets. However, not as a punishment, but out of sense of responsibility. It also saves him/her from embarrassment from having family members know every time he/she wets the bed.
Some recommend practicing bladder stretching exercises. With these, your child gradually increases the time between daytime urinations so that the bladder can slowly stretch to hold more urine.
Wake up your child at night, during specific intervals so that he/she can go and empty the bladder.

Answer 5

To be honest I was a bed wetter till I was about 6 or 8. My problem was, was that I slept like the dead. My parents took me to the doctors and that didnt help. What finally helped was me growing older and I was never alowed any liquid after 7:oo my badtime was 8. Also my mom would get me up at the same time every night and make me use the restroom. I would be sleeping the whole process. Sometimes I would fall asleep on the toilet. Just have patience and dont get angry he probably cant help it or doesnt know how to help it.

Answer 6

I can't believe I'm gonna say this but I'm over the embarassment now. I wet the bed 'til I was 16, yes 16 (I am 29 now.). The doctors I saw said simply - the urge to urinate was simply not strong enough to wake me. I am a "hard-sleeper". They said I had to grow out of it, I just can't believe how long it took! I never knew what a sleepover felt like. I tried to go a couple of times. But I ended up pretending to be ill & had my mom pick me up. The doctor prescribed pills & a nose-spray that I used. But I was only supposed to use it on "special occasions" becasue he didn't want my body to depend on that. He wanted my body to grow out of the problem naturally. The pills & the nose spray worked every time I had to use them. So be patient with your little guy & maybe talk to his pediatrician. By the way once I grew out of it, there were no relapses, it's never happened again - I'm cured, lol. You're right, don't make him feel punished or that he is doing anything wrong. But I don't see any reason not to have him wash & re-make his bed. That is a normal chore & maybe sub-conscionsly (sp?) it may help him grow out of it. Good luck, be patient with your little guy, I seriously doubt he can control this.

Answer 7

Make him use the restroom before sleeping, and then wake him in the middle of the night to use the restroom again. Later you can train him a few months later to wake himself up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.. This might help in the night time, but with your son, if he is peeing in the day and has no control he may have to wear pull ups for a while. You might even want to ask a doctor about this.

Answer 8

Most of the time when a child that old still wets the bed they have a emotional problem. Child shouldn't be punished for wetting the bed, you need to him take to his doctor. If you shame a child it doesn't do much good in fact it can make it worst. There is something that bothering him, you need to find out what it is, he feels bad when we wakes and he is wet. He needs something he isn't getting, I've seen children suck their thumb into their teenage years, he needs help not punishment.

Answer 9

avoid yelling at him. And have him go right before he goes to bed. This may limit his need to go during the night. Sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night but know that if i physically get up i will have trouble going back to sleep. maybe he has the same thing. Maybe you could get a cd of calming disney songs like can you feel the love tonight, part of your world, beauty and the beast, songs like that. Turn the volume down, and set it next to his bed. Tell him that if he can't get to sleep he can push this button (and tell him what button to push) and the music will help him get to sleep. Also let him know that when he has to go to the bathroom he needs to get up and go otherwise he will make it a habit and when he goes to friend's houses he will wet the bed.

Answer 10

Have you taken him to a the doctor to rule out any medical issue? My son is 12, and occasionaly has the same problem due to muscle weakness...sometimes when he drifts off to sleep, right before fully asleep, he has an accident - but he was given medication & exercises that seem to be helping. We also limit his liquid intake and definately don't give him anything to drink, not even a sip of water - two hours before bed.