A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack", she cries.
The blond guy rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialling, his 4-year-old comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You rotten pig" says the husband, "my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"
2006-09-13 09:06:21 · 29 answers · asked by trilisin 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
That's funny. I guess I have to be a blonde to be like that's damn funny, but it is good one for all those lame blonde jokes that keep getting put out there. Good for you to get back at them! Thanks for sharing!
2006-09-13 09:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by * Wishfulthinker * 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Smart Blonde-
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet $10,000 on a single roll of the dice. And she adds, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I m completely nude."
With that she takes off everything but her necklace and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mama needs new clothes." Then she yells, "YES, YES, YES!! I WON, I WON, I WON."
She begins jumping up and down and hugging both of the dealers. Then she picks up her money and her clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll, anyway?"
The other answers, "I don't know. I thought YOU were watching."
Blonde Revenge-
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns and repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely; but we are a little puzzled. We checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is - why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"
The blond replies....."Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"
2006-09-13 09:15:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
There was 3 guys a Blondie a brown haired and a red head. They worked on a building site and every day they would sit way up on a building and eat there lunch. NOW One day they were all sitting up in there usual spot and checked out there lunch the brown haired guy is like dam Bologna again if my wife packs me Bologna one more time i will throw myself off this tower. The red opens up his lunch and looks at his sandwich and is like a dam ham and cheese again if my wife packs me this sandwich one more time I will ahavr to throw myself off of this tower. The Blondie opens is in the sandwich and says a dam pb&J again if my wife packs this again I'm going throw myself off of this tower.
So the next day they all get the same lunches and they all throw themselfs off of the towor. Now at the funeral the wifes are all crying. Except for the blondes. When people asked her about it later all she did was shake her head and say, stupid foul, he always packs his own lunch.
2006-09-13 10:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by luckystar53 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building."
The Mexican! opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."
The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too."
The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping.She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!"
The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."
(Oh this is GOOD!!)?
Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said,
"Don't look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch........"
2006-09-13 09:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by SammyD 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
All the jokes here are funny but SammyD had the best 1
2006-09-21 02:59:35 · answer #5 · answered by Slimm D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rflmao
2006-09-13 09:56:10 · answer #6 · answered by Josie31 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh flipin funny but i just now heard this one in it has notihin to do with blond people but okay here it is:
okay there is this native american guy right? m he has like 12 kids and he says to them "who push over port potty?" no one answers so he says agian "who push over port potty?" again noone asnwers so he tells them story about fred and his father bob.... see fred chops down a tree that his father really loves and his father bob says to fred if u tell me the truth n u done it u will not get punshed so fred told his father bob in of course no punshed.
so then the littlest navtive amernica kid siad "father it i who done it" then the n.a. dad went in hit the kid n whipped him after all this the little N.A. siad "father fred didnt get punshed when he told the truth why i do?" N.A. dad says " fred dad not in tree when chopped down!"
2006-09-13 09:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by razer911 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There was this dumb Blonde guy on his way hunting,
he saw a sign that said "Bare left" so he went home.
2006-09-13 09:20:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put a smile on my face, but i've heard it before.... It's a good 1 though
2006-09-19 03:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by 70sBabyBoy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well done every one that added a joke ont his answer, they are all really funny made me and work mates laugh a lot
2006-09-20 23:39:01 · answer #10 · answered by wiggle_bum1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why was the blond guy staring at the bottle of orange juice?
coz it said "concentrate"
2006-09-21 04:17:32 · answer #11 · answered by clutterbug84 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋